Flight attendants are taking aim on social media at passengers who use the lavatory during boarding. They’ll come off the jetbridge onto the aircraft and slip right into the bathroom. One customer reports that a United Airlines flight attendant asked him “if the bathroom was broken in the airport” and laughed when he used the bathroom straight away.
Cabin crew comments include,
“use the bathroom before you board”“I was a flight attendant 13 years- the planes are busy and crowded and you are trying to get your work done – go before you board!”
“She’s just being sarcastically funny . Calm down Brad”
“My take on Flight Attendants (and I was one for 33 years). The airlines do not search out and hire the most surely people they can find. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. So, how come after about a year or two of dealing with passengers they change? Could it be the passengers? Yes, it’s the passengers.”
“Barb is my spirit animal”
“if he really needed to go, he could have asked politely.”
How striking is it that comments view what’s wrong with the airlines as the customers, and that clearly sarcastic comments from a flight attendant must be because the passenger failed at being polite enough?
There are certainly reasons to use the lavatory immediately on boarding:
- Last-minute necessity: the passenger ran to the gate from a late connection (or was slowed by mobility issues), and they needed to make sure they were on the aircraft before doors close – and there just wasn’t enough time to stop. Maybe there would have been! But the customer just isn’t sure, but they really do need to go.
- It may be better than holding it until after departure: even if they were able to, which involves uncertainty around the seatbelt sign and potential for galley carts blocking the aisle – better to go when there’s an opportunity, rather than impeding service (which would have frustrated a flight attendant even more).
- It’s a long haul flight on a widebody: where boarding starts earlier, takes longer, there’s more space to move around and usually more lavatories – so it’s just not super disruptive. (I’ll often change into pajamas in the lavatory after boarding and prior to departure before a long haul flight.)
On the other hand, there are certainly reasons why it’s better to go in the terminal beforehand:
- Impedes boarding: The aisle is a bottleneck and this adds someone jumping in and out of the boarding queue.
- Interferes with crew work: Flight attendants are boarding passengers, doing counts and safety checks, and prepping for departure. On a narrowbody aircraft, with the front lavatory, it can mean getting in the way of first class predeparture beverage service.
- The terminal restroom may be better: there are certainly more stalls and more space to move around.
When you’re time constrained an aircraft lavatory is there for a reason. The airline would certainly prefer it if everyone went before they boarded. Passengers would weigh less! Less weight means burning less fuel. That saves on cost, which ultimately translates to better operating economics and competition driving lower fares (as those approach marginal cost).
However, whether or not using the lavatory immediately upon boarding is appropriate or not, commenting on a passenger’s lavatory use seems inappropriate to me. And comments viewing passengers as the problem reveal quite a lot about U.S. airlines. Delta, American Airlines, and – in this case – United Airlines – all aspire to cater to the premium end of the market. They invest billions in planes, seats, lounges, and amenities. But it’s all undone in a second by the people providing front line customer service.
Ironically, American Airlines adopted a corporate slogan of “caring for people on life’s journey.” That always sounded to me like a tagline for a chain of senior assisted living facilities. Their former CEO Doug Parker wasn’t wrong with a model of ‘taking care of employees, so they’d take care of customers, and customers would take care of shareholders.’ The problem is that they invested in a short training (‘elevating the everyday experience’), had HR work on making it easier to access benefits, and called it good.
It starts with screening for the right talent, explaining from day one that the crux of the role involves taking care of people, aligning financial incentives so that when employees do that well they do well, and offboarding employees who don’t conform to that program.
Delta has an advantage here, though it doesn’t seem as strong as it did years ago. Southwest is very good on the talent selection side, though it’s an open question how well their culture holds up after being stressed by changes in the airline’s business model, policing assigned seats and bags, and being asked to give up coveted from of the plane overhead bin space in favor of premium passengers who pay for nearby seats. American and United have been more of a mixed bag for years.
If flight attendants are late to a flight the plane waits. If passengers are connecting from a late flight the plane probably won’t wait. So the only solution is to go onboard.
The problem I have, and probably all flight attendants is the moron that gets up after or when the door is closing potentially holding up pushback.
I likely have gone in the terminal, and go again even if if it isn’t urgent because they will likely ask the pilot to leave the seat belt sign do they can cut back on service.
It’s like going to the movies. One would probably go to the bathroom before sitting down before the movie starts.
Plus, airplane bathrooms are tiny and gross.
@George Romey — Since you likely board an hour early with CK, down your PDB, and have a prostate the size of a grapefruit (same here, cousin), I can’t blame you for wanting to use the lavatory, maybe even twice, after boarding and before the boarding door is shut!
What is wrong with FAs of US airlines? Mock the passanger that pays your salary? The one who is the very reason for your benighted existence?
This one could prompt me to make some seriously disparaging remarks …
But in a more serious and straightforward manner, here’s to the air lines …:
I’ll use the terminal restroom if …:
1. You can get your act together and be on time
2. If you bring down your 70% perfection of screwing up connections
3. If your pilots show up on time for takeoff
4. If your maintenance crew shows up for repairs
5. If you stop hanging out on the runways for a whole hour before take-off
I could come up with more, but the above is already too tall of an order ever since Covid.
Most flight attendants are super nice … to those few that think they can make fun of such passengers … well … have a nice day ! For the males: hope you don’t ever get prostate problems … for the females: hope you never get weak bladders after childbirth !!
Former Flight Attendant and Registered Nurse here: Taking off with a full bladder can be very dangerous in the event of an aborted takeoff with a metal seatbelt buckle suddenly and very forcefully jammed into your bladder. Not only a risk for incontinence but a burst bladder as well. Of course its ideal to take care of this prior to boarding but stuff happens.
OK, f¤ck them. US pilots leave the seatbelt light on like they are paid for it. Men, virtually every man, suffers from benign prostate enlargement as they age. F□ck you, you urinary police. Go straight to hell.
@Brad Coath: Brad is correct. As a firefighter/paramedic, I agree that a ruptured bladder after an aircraft crash may ruin your afternoon. When you want to make your bladder gladder, here are some comebacks to your friendly neighborhood flight attendant on poop patrol about using the lavatory upon boarding.
Here are my humorous comebacks that stay on the safe side of respectful:
“My last four American Airlines flights had inoperative lavatories.”
“Would you want to take a crap in the same airport terminal bathroom as your First Officer?”
“My last flight ran out of toilet paper. Ever wipe with a napkin?”
“I didn’t want to soil my ConciergeKey card scraping stuck poop out of my butt.”
“My empty bladder will help me enjoy your refreshing predeparture beverage.
“Not broken, just trusting the airplane bathroom over the terminal today.”
“I like to pre-board my hydration strategy with a last-minute stress test.”
“Just making sure I don’t discover turbulence at 30,000 feet and regret my life choices.”
“Consider it my contribution to lower the airport restroom occupancy rate.”
“I was told to use the bathroom before boarding; I took ‘before’ flexibly.”
“I like to meet all bathrooms I might commit to for the next few hours.”
“This is my version of checking in early.”
“Just ensuring I don’t become a mid-flight aviation emergency statistic.”
If you want something sharper but still not rude, closer to sarcastic airline humor:
“Oh, I didn’t realize there was a curfew on restroom usage before takeoff.”
“Thank you for being a valued premier member of the American Airlines poop patrol.”
“Good to know the official boarding procedure includes restroom audits.”
“I’ll file that under things I didn’t know were against aviation rules.”
In reality, flight attendants often use humor because they repeat the same reminder hundreds of times a day during tight boarding windows. Matching sarcasm with sarcasm can feel funny in the moment, but the safer pro move is usually a light joke or just a smile and keep pooping.
Polite but subtly witty. These usually get a laugh without sounding confrontational:
“I figured one minute now beats twenty minutes of regret later.”
“I was trying to be proactive rather than urgent.”
“Just conducting my preflight checks.”
“I’m investing in a smoother flight for both of us.”
“Consider my predeparture poop preventive maintenance.”
“I’m trying to avoid becoming a mid-flight repeat customer.”
“I prefer to get my bad decisions out of the way before takeoff.”
The most effective comeback is often the driest one. A deadpan “Thank you for your feedback regarding my bathroom strategy” tends to land better than anything openly combative.
Something else for employees to gripe about. Yes I do it sometimes. Unless you get to the airport 5 hours early, there usually insn’t time at the bigger terminals. Then they gripe when they have to get the trolleys out serve 5 ounces of Coke at $10. Go figure.
I’ve gone during boarding a few times. Usually a tight connection was to blame, but sometimes the prospect of a long ground hold (JFK/LGA, looking at you – and I’ve had plenty of flights into them get garfed up by traffic there, too…) also nudges me…
…because if we get stuck on the tarmac for an hour with the light on, I might well get stuck *having* to go to the loo while we’re stopped, seatbelt sign or not.
@This comes to mind — You drunk? What’s up with all the cursing today?
@Suhas — No, most crews do a good job, and Gary points out the outliers. Also, technically, the airline “pays” crew compensation (let’s be honest, more and more spend on co-branded credit cards, not paying passengers, that are funding those airlines, so…)
The worst is when you board then realize you really really have to go but you’re in first on a CR7 with only a rear lav so you have to navigate all the people boarding and storing their bags and when you’re done you have to wait in the back until everyone is seated because there’s no way to get around people in that narrow little aisle.
Incontinence underwear. Use them for ” just in case “. No shame. And no taking flack from anyone.
@Brad Coath: Brad is correct. As a firefighter/paramedic, I agree that a ruptured bladder after an aircraft crash may ruin your afternoon. When you want to make your bladder gladder, here are some comebacks for your friendly neighborhood flight attendant who is on poop patrol regarding you using the lavatory upon boarding.
Here are my humorous comebacks that stay on the safe side of respectful:
“My last four American Airlines flights had inoperative lavatories.”
“Would you want to take a crap in the same bathroom as your First Officer?”
“My last flight ran out of toilet paper. Ever wipe with a napkin?”
“I didn’t want to soil my ConciergeKey card scraping stuck poop out of my butt.”
“My empty bladder will help me enjoy your refreshing predeparture beverage.
“Not broken, just trusting the airplane bathroom over the terminal today.”
“I like to pre-board my hydration strategy with a last-minute stress test.”
“Just making sure I don’t discover turbulence at 30,000 feet and regret my life choices.”
“Consider it my contribution to lower the airport restroom occupancy rate.”
“I was told to use the bathroom before boarding; I took ‘before’ flexibly.”
“I like to meet all bathrooms I might commit to for the next few hours.”
“This is my version of checking in early.”
“Just ensuring I don’t become a mid-flight aviation emergency statistic.”
If you want something sharper but still not rude, closer to sarcastic airline humor:
“Oh, I didn’t realize there was a curfew on restroom usage before takeoff.”
“Thank you for being a valued premier member of the American Airlines poop patrol.”
“Good to know the official boarding procedure includes restroom audits.”
“I’ll file that under things I didn’t know were against aviation rules.”
In reality, flight attendants often use humor because they repeat the same reminder hundreds of times a day during tight boarding windows. Matching sarcasm with sarcasm can feel funny in the moment, but the safer pro move is usually a light joke or just a smile and keep pooping.
Polite but subtly witty. These usually get a laugh without sounding confrontational:
“I figured one minute now beats twenty minutes of regret later.”
“I was trying to be proactive rather than urgent.”
“Just conducting my preflight checks.”
“I’m investing in a smoother flight for both of us.”
“Consider my predeparture poop preventive maintenance.”
“I’m trying to avoid becoming a mid-flight repeat customer.”
“I prefer to get my bad decisions out of the way before takeoff.”
The most effective comeback is often the driest one. A deadpan “Thank you for your feedback regarding my bathroom strategy” tends to land better than anything openly combative.
Regardless of “why” or “should”, the fact that these FAs feel the need to insult their customers like this online tells you they’re ***holes.
Now all those who have been curious regarding 1990’s sex have their answer.
Also do not assume benign enlargement or listen to the death panels who say we don’t test old men anymore. Look at Joe Biden.
This is why I now wear pads when I fly. If I’m boarding and using the lavatory immediately, there’s good reason for it. And I’ve noticed that the seat belts are frequently left on for entire flights with little to no explanation and zero turbulence. And then it’s no wonder that people board to find seats with urine, feces, vomit on them. These FAs need to get a grip. If you don’t like the public, go into accounting or software development, or if those are too far beyond skill set, at least waitress on the ground, where we can tip you zero for poor service and a $hitty attitude.
I have used the lavatory before takeoff on rare occasion. It is in excellent shape when I do this and it isn’t moving around. I try to use the lavatories in the airport but sometimes the timing isn’t good. Flight attendants that mock regular passengers should find another job.
@This comes to mind – are you a medical professional? You ASSume that all men have enlarged prostates. Please note the capitals.
@ Gary ” – so it’s just not super disruptive. (I’ll often change into pajamas in the lavatory after boarding and prior to departure before a long haul flight.)”
No Gary, it is “super disruptive” unless you can change into your pajamas faster than Clark Kent can change in a phone booth. There is only one large (wheelchair accessible) toilet in J but by all means use it as your changing room during boarding. And wait patiently, while sipping your PDB, when the other 40 Business Class pax have the same idea.
“The terminal restroom may be better: there are certainly more stalls and more space to move around.”
If your PJ’s are essential then wear them from the Admiral’s Club to the gate. I might add that every AA/BA Club toilets and showers I’ve been in is undoubtedly cleaner than any AA/BA airplane lav. I suspect most public airport toilet are too…with the exception of OAK.
During boarding is about the only time you will see a clean restroom on an airplane. The stewardesses do not try to keep them clean or stocked. But it is a great American trait to blame everything on the victims. Mostly people should just consider themselves lucky that the airlines are not charging (yet) to use the disease-ridden nasty restrooms.
I can think of 1000 reasons,why it’s inappropriate for a flight attendant to say anything about someone isong a lavatory during boarding. Physically unwell people use airlines for travel. Bladders are internal body parts and do not display their physical disabilities evidenced on there clothing. Nervous anxiety makes people feel unwell. Not everyone is a daily traveler.
I refuse to fly United anymore because their flight teams are tjexworst I have ever experienced as far as their high and mighty view of themselves and THEIR RIGHTS.
Customers spend thousands of dollars to travel to be treated with such disdain or snideness and its those flight attendants that I absolutely get their name and file complaint against.
But bathroom pettiness is an all time low.
Despite my rant, I should point out that I “make” myself use the restroom as boarding starts. (“Make” in the same sense my father made me use the restroom when we stopped on road trips.)
Id rather have them go while boading than while taxiing. If taxiing, the plane has to stop till they are seated, delaying everyone. Honestly if they do that while taxiing, the flight attendant should point out the person so everyone else can give them the stink eye on the delay.
As a firefighter/paramedic, I agree with Brad Coath that a ruptured bladder after an aircraft crash may ruin your afternoon. When you want to make your bladder gladder, here are some comebacks for your friendly neighborhood flight attendant on poop patrol about using the lavatory upon boarding.
“My last four American Airlines flights had inoperative lavatories.”
“Would you want to take a crap in the same bathroom as your First Officer?”
“My last flight ran out of toilet paper. Ever wipe with a napkin?”
“I didn’t want to soil my ConciergeKey card scraping stuck poop out of my butt.”
“My empty bladder will help me enjoy your refreshing pre-departure beverage.
“The terminal toilet is not broken, just trusting the airplane bathroom over the terminal today.”
“I like to pre-board my hydration strategy with a last-minute stress test.”
“Just making sure I don’t discover turbulence at 30,000 feet and regret my life choices.”
“Consider it my contribution to lower the airport restroom occupancy rate.”
“I was told to use the bathroom before boarding; I took ‘before’ flexibly.”
“I like to meet all bathrooms I might commit to for the next few hours.”
“This is my version of checking in early.”
“Just ensuring I don’t become a mid-flight aviation emergency statistic.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize there was a curfew on restroom usage before takeoff.”
“Thank you for being a valued premier member of the American Airlines poop patrol.”
“Good to know the official boarding procedure includes restroom audits.”
“I’ll file that under things I didn’t know were against aviation rules.”
“I figured one minute now beats twenty minutes of regret later.”
“I was trying to be proactive rather than urgent.”
“Just conducting my preflight checks.”
“I’m investing in a smoother flight for both of us.”
“This my pre-departure poop preventive maintenance.”