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Eight years ago I first laid out how to optimize credit card spend while keeping a happy marriage.
- Over 20 years ago, while my wife and I were dating, she let me choose the one card she would use.
- Then she broadened that out but said she would only ever manage up to 3 cards at a time.
- Eventually she gave in, and ‘got’ that different cards serve very different purposes, and it was part of how we were able to travel so well together.
- But with advances in the products that are out there, we’ve slimmed down the choice set.
An important piece of the strategy was time and patience. I needed to gradually bring my wife into the hobby that matters so much to me, I couldn’t expect her to absorb my plans all at once — and I had to remember to tell her when I was changing my thinking! Ultimately credit card strategy improved the communication in my marriage!
Here’s a tracking suggestion I first got from a reader of this blog, Acker:
I have so many darn cards – active and not. With the exception of the cards I’m working at any given time, I keep them semi-organized in a small zip lock (actually it’s a quart-sized bag).
I use a black sharpie and write right on the cards “2x gas” “50k w/ 10k spend” …I can only imagine what waiters and clerks think, but who cares?
When I cancel a card, I write a cancel sign on the front of the card with the date cancelled. I even thought of making a …Halloween costume out of the 50+ cards.
…Oh, I have a zip lock for my husband’s cards too.
I’m glad to see this approach being used in the real world:
It's a new quarter, which means it is time to update the labels on your credit cards to get 5% cash back on as many transactions as possible pic.twitter.com/AGhcJtYZaX
— Jeremy Horpedahl 🥚📉 (@jmhorp) July 1, 2026
Currently my wife really just needs to move between two cards, though.
- American Express® Gold Card (see rates and fees) because it earns 4X Membership Rewards points per dollar at restaurants worldwide on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year and 4x at US supermarkets on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year. She’s a former chef and food matters quite a lot to us, so this is an area of heavy spend.
- Bilt Palladium Card (See rates and fees) for pretty much everything else, since between making housing payments with the card and redeeming Bilt Cash for points accelerator it can earn 3 or 3.3x on most spend, and Bilt Points are the most valuable points.
I cash out with 100%+ transfer bonuses, and view this as better than 5% back. The only real reason to optimize restaurant and grocery spend at 4x is because there’s a finite limit to how much spend can be done on this card above 2x (unless you use this strategy for 4x Bilt Points on all spend) and so it’s worth preserving some of that earning power when other cards earn 4x naturally.
If you’re going to pursue a more complex strategy, another reader shared a quarterback wristband given to a spouse with the ‘plays’ she could refer to. The specific card choices are outdated, and ‘player 2s’ will find this patronizing rather than helpful. Your mileage may vary!
What’s your strategy for keeping track of which cards to use when, and on what?
My wife has 3 cards and manages to use them “correctly” most of the time.
Amex Gold for restaurants and groceries.
Amex Blue Business for almost everything else
Chase Ink for Costco and elsewhere when Amex isn’t accepted.
For international travel I give here one of my AF cards.
It’s possible to be too complex. Having a spouse use a different card for gas, groceries, and general use might be enough.
I have separate cards for business and personal, which are then subdivided into categories.
“Which card do I use?” Music to my ears. Whenever P2 asks, instead of just uses Amex Platinum for a category spend opportunity. (Like, oof, we just lost 2-4x points by using that clunker instead of consulting first…)
My wife tells everyone she “LOVES my hobby”. She tells people that I tell her to spend more on credit cards….She puts post it notes on the card to keep track of spend and gives the card back to me when she’s done the bonus spend. I’ve been trying to get her used to using certain cards for gas and groceries but that still hasn’t caught on.
We’ve flown internationally in 1st class almost a dozen times, and otherwise lie flat business. Plus free hotel nights in places like the Alila Ventana and club lounge access at various properties. She’s sold on the value of the points. We both apply for 2 or more new credit cards each year. I do the applications and I pay most of the bills.
I have all my cards with the permanent and temporary kick backs in Google Keep. But, I never have to look anymore. I know which one to use without even pondering the situation.
I switched to a 2% cash back, card, automatically deposited into a 529, a few years ago. With luck of market returns past few years the balance almost doubled and was able to use $8k tax free for my child’s school.
Much better value for me personally than trying to find tickets for four with limited to the school calendar. My co-worker who started at her child’s birth had $50k at age 18 for college. The cards are also fee-free.
Hard to say that a few international first class flights are better than $50k in cash. Perhaps if you are bonus chasing the miles cards are still worth it, but for ongoing spend cash is better.
I use a label maker to mark each card is for for my husband. He gets a lot of “that’s cool” nods from store clerks, and strikes up a lot of conversations. But he said he only wanted to fly business class overseas, so the trade was he uses the card I tell him to use. I also manage his wallet when he goes out of town, swapping lounge and travel cards for everyday cards. He’ll carry about 3.
I love the idea above of keeping canceled cards marked with when cancelled. It’s very hard to figure that out from a credit report.
Excel spreadsheet…with tabs and running totals. If you work it right you can always out-benefit your AF
My cards have color-coded, computer printed labels in the bottom right corner that indicates what they’re supposed to be used for. Neatly trimmed, applied with glue stick, and covered with a small piece of trimmed cellophane tape to prevent label wear.
Sure beats masking tape.
I didn’t need to explain it to my wife. She was in after one trip and frequently consults. She expects me to keep track, part of my duties, but could easily do it herself if needed.
I set up a shared Apple NOTE with my wife and created a table showing which card for which purchases. This way we can quickly update when bonuses are added or benefits on a card change.