News and notes from around the interweb:
- This keeps coming up. Airlines Aren’t Ignoring A Faster Way To Board Planes. They’ve Tested It, And It Fails To make this work you also need to line everyone up in the exact proposed boarding order, everyone boards individually rather than with families, remains seated, and doesn’t compete for overhead-bin space. In real world trials it makes no material difference.
boarding was solved mathematically in 2008. no airline has used it once.
why? pic.twitter.com/5XtS0ksGbd
— Rod (@rod_mallo) August 4, 2026
- Alaska Airlines Passenger Ordered To Hide Pee-wee Herman Shirt With “I Don’t Need The Police” Slogan
- Minivan driver caught going 118 mph on Florida interstate so family ‘wouldn’t miss cruise’ after they missed their flight.
- United replacing its blue plastic cups with paper I admit I like the blue.
- Detroit airport is paying the bankruptcy estate of Spirit Airlines $18 million to take back its lease on its 126,000-square foot maintenance hangar and equipment left behind, free and clear of creditor liens. They were originally going to buy the facility back for this amount and lease it to Spirit (which Spirit had constructed at a cost of around $32 million on the leased property).
- Intoxicated man steals from Hampton Inn snack bar, does push-ups for police officers
- Okey dokey.
Staff had to close the aircraft door on Thai Airways TG674 at Suvarnabhumi on 29 July to stop 22 Chinese fans chasing a celebrity from boarding without clearance. All 22 denied. Rare to see it reach the jet bridge like that. Prevention needs to start much earlier.
Full context 👇 pic.twitter.com/GcbHNENdDz— Fahad Naim (@Fahadnaimb) August 5, 2026
- FAA nonsense.
Under Biden and Obama, SpaceX got no reprieve. They had to do absurd nonsense all the time in order to do anything.
Under Obama, the FAA made SpaceX write a book report on local activity in the Mexican-American War. https://t.co/v1axssjLYi pic.twitter.com/TdN9CpfsvQ
— Crémieux (@cremieuxrecueil) August 5, 2026
On boarding methods: Random is best, because we’re never getting everyone to line up perfectly beforehand. This ain’t Japan, Gary… we have no sense of time, order, honor, shame, or sake. In the words of Katsumoto from The Last Samurai (2003), a “perfect blossom is a rare thing.” So, if I ever witness a ‘steffen’ model boarding in-person, I’ll be saying, “perfect… they are all perfect.”
We will deserve it if our country fails.
(For those that care, let’s admit it, The Last Samurai, 2003, as ‘great’ as it is, basically, is a reboot of Dances with Wolves, 1990… but set in Japan, right? RIGHT?)
Remember when Elon was sane?
2 jet bridges will help. The problem of US airports is one jet bridge and one open cabin door. Many countries have 2 bridges. It very efficient to board/deplane the passengers from both front and rear doors.
Unfortunately, the only effective way to streamline airplane boarding is to sharply restrict carry-ons. Because, once again, we can’t have nice things anymore.
@1990 – And Dances with Wolves was, basically, a reboot of Little Big Man.
@Denver Refugee — Oh my goodness! You’re totally right. Dustin Hoffman! Wait a minute… is Avatar… no…
(“… His name is James, James Cameron…The bravest pioneer…No budget too steep, no sea too deep…Who’s that? It’s him, James Cameron…”)
Creditian has it right. Two doors make an enormous difference, particularly on wide body aircraft.
@Mike Hunt — So, you’re willing to use two openings, but how about three… ya know, for big girls… like the A380? That’s probably the max. (No, not the Boeing.)
Nevermind, I just remembered that @Mike Hunt prefers boarding from the backdoor…
Spent a life time in military and have used Suncountry’s gambling flights a few times. Know what they got in common. They board from rear to front no assigned seating. Boarding flies.
Obviously, Alaska Airlines has its priorities straight—nothing says safety like holding up a flight departure from Portland (PDX) to San Jose, CA (SJC) over a passenger wearing a Pee-wee Herman T-shirt. I mean, what’s next? Banning bow ties and red bikes? Clearly, this crucial T-shirt enforcement leaves no time for them to offer passengers the high art of Pee-wee’s Big Adventure or the cultural zenith that is Pee-wee’s Playhouse in-flight. Because, really, who wouldn’t want to experience the full Pee-wee cinematic universe at 30,000 feet? #IflyAlaska
@BA – Super interesting! About how long did boarding take?
Hahaha, airlines lie all of the time. It is part of their culture. I do not believe anything they claim about speeding up boarding or slowing it down.