When Beverly Hills 90210 debuted my sophomore year of high school in 1990, it was a ‘fish out of water’ story, focused heavily on the family from Minnesota as outsiders, gawking at the privilege around them. That element to the show quickly dissipated, and it more or less became a standard teen drama.
A recent online discussion got me thinking about how miles and points can have the same effect as the showrunners of 9-0.
I don’t think I ever felt out of place in premium airline cabins. But they quickly became de riguere such that I don’t think much about it. The first time I was upgraded – to business class on a United cross-country Boeing 777 flight 26 years ago – I didn’t want to get off. It was a Sunday afternoon, they brought me a coursed meal and drinks, and I had my New York Times. It was sublime and I didn’t want the flight to end.
- I’ve had Singapore A380 Suites, ANA first class, Thai first class, Korean first class cabins to myself and others too. I’ve experienced the Etihad Residence. That’s some luxury!
- About the only awkward moment I’ve had was when my wife and I flew Lufthansa first class years ago on the upper deck of their 747, had the cabin to ourselves, and took a couple of minutes to get our things together on arrival. We didn’t realize until we’d gotten down the stairs to deplane that they were still holding the whole business class cabin until we disembarked.
Singapore A380 Suites
Etihad A380 Residence
Hotels, though, are another matter. The most exclusive and expensive properties historically haven’t been ones that you could access with points. They weren’t accessible via status – travel a bunch for work as a middle manager, and open up the world.
This is what prompted plenty of stories of seeing things far outside a hotel guest’s life experience, that sometimes made the guest uncomfortable or how their own appearance and demeanor made them feel as though they stood out:
Recently stayed at the park Hyatt Kyoto 2 nights in points. I do not frequent 2k a night hotels.
We walked up to the entrance to check in with all our common person sports gear traveling bags and were immediately stopped by the staff before even making it to the door. They asked if we were lost . Once we confirmed our reservation they started acting appropriately lol. Next to us was an actual rolls Royce unloading a family out with coach luggage.
Met a guy in the public bath. Chatting him up he owns several companies. Kept complaining about how small the baths were and how the multiple ones he has at his Miami mansion were much larger and hotter.
And just generally watching people who are rich/ high class move about. They carry themselves differently. It’s strange to see and watch
Take this to another level. The story was about a Park Hyatt, and you’ve been able to redeem points for a long time to stay at a Park Hyatt, Waldorf-Astoria, or St. Regis – but certainly not for Hôtel de Crillon or Four Seasons George V in Paris; the Chedi Andermatt or Badrutt Palace St. Moritz; Cheval Blanc St Barth; or Amanyara in Turks and Caicos?
There are a few Marriotts that fall into this category such as Cala di Volpe in Sardinia. It’s only recently though that unique and exclusive independent and small chain truly high end hotels have been opened up to points travelers.
The Hyatt – SLH Hotels was a bit of a watershed for this. SLH is transitioning to Hilton, with Hyatt’s acquisition of Mr. and Mrs. Smith which should lead to greater integration and more hotel opportunities than when the luxury booking platform partnered with IHG (itself a fish out of water story!). If only we would gain redemption access to Amankora, Amanwella, Amantaka, Amanzoe and Amandari!
Some things I’ve learned along the way,
- people aren’t looking at you as much as you think they are
- and even if they were, who cares, you’re traveling and probably won’t ever see them again
- you belong there as much as they do
- if you believe you belong and act like you belong, you don’t seem out of place – it’s people acting uncomfortably that makes them look out of place
In other words, the insecurity is usually in our own heads. And guess what? Rich people are insecure, too! When you see ostentatious displays of wealth, as opposed to just living their own lives without worrying over others, that’s usually insecurity and status games – acting out a game of mimesis which only matters to others playing that same game.
And by the way, you’d be surprised how not stuffy the Park Hyatt Vendome is Paris is.
The way that I think about the best service and experiences is that they’re there to make you comfortable. Here’s what sticks out in my mind. The first time I dined at Tetsuya’s in Sydney I asked whether my wife and I might see the kitchen (it was very impressive at the time). Our server’s answer – in a city not known for service! – was, “of course, it is your evening.” We were shown the test kitchen as well, and Tetsuya Wakuda popped in and said hello while we were back there.
I never felt uncomfortable dining at El Bulli, when it was the toughest reservation in the world. They had given a booking to us! And so we were welcomed. You are the guest. Therefore you belong. You don’t need to conform to anyone else’s expectations. Stop caring so much about what other people think of you, and sit with your own experience. Miles and points turn out to actually be a great social equalizer.
Japan is a big very classist society. No surprise that the example here was from there. It happened to us very often. I remember once in a high end store I went to buy a watch and they were almost trying to get us out. Once I said I was actually wanting to buy one of their watches their whole attitude changed.
As a born-poor/live-rich person, acting as-if-I-belong is the key to frictionless travel.
Engaging the help with a smile and a tip works wonders.
(One thing I’ve noticed: wealthy don’t tip… they rarely have cash)
After retiring to rural Texas, we discovered there is a lot of “quiet money” here. Mainly older ranchers with dogs in pick-up trucks, wearing worn jeans and battered boots. As opposed to the Porsche and Armani mob in the big cities e.g. Dallas.
The same can be found in air travel both internationally and domestically. Many years ago I learned to never judge a book by its cover.
FYI – Retired for almost 20 years now, I am a lifetime Platinum on AA and in the 80’s was a member of a small BA International passenger group that worked with BA management to assist with improving services. If you’ve showered upon arrival, that is my claim to fame.
Because of my work in Los Angeles, I have been at the homes of a lot of rich people and celebrities in Los Angeles as a technician. Some are genuinely nice people, others, not so much. Probably some would pay several times first class ticket prices if the riffraff (those who could not pay as much) were kept out of the cabin.
Once had to purchase a first class ticket from Singapore to Sydney on Qantas because a business trip materialized one short notice and that was the only thing that worked with my schedule.
I had never flown first class internationally but I knew this would be different. Because it was overnight, I wanted to sleep comfortably and packed my sweats in my carry on. I was pretty sure this would be out of place in a first class cabin and imagined a horrified reaction from other passengers.
After dinner, I changed into my sweats and got ready to bed down. It turned out that lots of people in the cabin had pretty much the same idea and it looked like a middle school slumber party.
To state the (hopefully) obvious, there exits, in air travel, several strata above First Class. “Flying Private” has its own set of tiers, with unique customs and aspirations.
Articles this like is why I love this site and keep coming back. Please do more like this in the future. It’s genuinely educational. Well done.
I recently stayed at Park Hyatt Abu Dhabi. Superlative hotel. Booked with points.
Our rental car was a very plebeian Mazda 6. Avis ordered the cheapest possible version of that car. For example, it had cloth seats, and, this being a rental, they were already stained. On top of that, the car looked very dirty on the outside as well, after surviving the Dubai flood and a trip to the desert.
I always had a chuckle when the valet was parking the car or retrieving it. It looked totally out of place. Inside the hotel, all guests looked the same, you really couldn’t tell that they had enough money to afford rooms that cost around $1000 per night. I could get used to that lifestyle 🙂
My first trip to Europe was met with stares and stopped at a few hotel lobbies along the way. We’re from California, we dress really, really, casual, probably borderline sloppy. In Italy, the receptionist just stared at us from up and down, rolled his eyes and politely asked if we needed help finding something.. In Austria, I checked my wife and I in at breakfast, a buffet, once in line, my wife was approached by staff and was asked if we had a room here. She gave our room number which identified as a suite. They apologized.
Afterwards, my wife and I agreed, maybe we could make more of an effort to dress better….just a little better.
Re: dressing really, really casual . . . just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Good plan.
Rich does not equal high class.
Don’t confuse the two
I frankly never feel uncomfortable or out is place anywhere. I’ve been lucky enough through my career to have some amazing experiences like meals with Michael Dell and Ross Perot plus sailing on Malcolm Forbes’ Yacht the Highlander. Based on this I always assume I belong,, act like it and never give it a second thought. Most recent stay like this was Beverly Hills Waldorf where rooms start around $1100 a night (used Hilton free night certificate). Amazing room and clientele was great but as a retired senior executive I’ve been around richer and more famous people (plus do OK on my own) so totally fit in.
I look Asian. I was born in Taiwan, but moved to the US at age 3 — so mentality-wise, I am very American and speak with no accent (well, I used to have a southern accent, haha). I was staying at the Sheraton Guilin in China (not even that fancy of a hotel). I got up early one day to check out the fruit markets (yum!!). It was very hot, and I was dressed in a raggedy T-shirt and shorts for this shopping trip. I bought a lot of exotic fruit in those plastic bags, and was returning to the hotel when the doorman stopped me before I even made it 1/2 way up the steps. He used profanity & yelled at me (in Chinese) to get away from the hotel. I was in shock and just stared at him, and said loudly in English ‘Excuse me?’. His demeanor did a 180, and he was tripping over himself in apologies and opened the door for me. This kind of attitude is at every level, not just the most expensive/exclusive places.
@Lee
Americans are know in Europe for their horribble style.(more less no style). No worry. On the other note Thank you Gerry for the article.Had that feeling in some hotels but quickly get used. I am the customer.
There are just some basic tasks I feel somewhat ridiculous having someone else do, and taking my bag to the room is defintiely one of them.
It’s been 10 years since I started occasionally staying at the top end of the Marriott portfolio when burning points (or topping off Ambassador), and I’m still uncomfortable with surrendering my bags to the bellhop.
I still do, as I think it makes the hotel look bad if guests are seen shlepping their own bags, and content myself with a drink at the bar to make sure my bags make it to the room before I do. (I also feel incredibly awkward having a stranger IN the room…)
Tip when they take the bags of course.
Didn’t feel out of place arriving at Park Hyatt Paris Vendome with my family of 6, however, it was made clear to us that we were out of place. Service was horrible, among the worst we have ever had. Whether it was because of our (well behaved ) children numbering 4, because we were on points (as a diamond at the time) or because our children are black and indigenous or just because the staff are stuck up, I will never know, but your experience at the Park Hyatt definitely does not match mine. This after staying at the Trianon Palace Versailles as a gold and being treated like Royalty.
Except for 1 person, it is likely a mistake to judge how rich a person is by how they dress. My experience during 100+ high(er) end business conferences is that the people wearing Armani, cuff links, and be-spoked shoes are “fake rich”, where as the guy at the bar wearing cargo pants and a Mets jersey is worth $100MM+.
Me? I hate wearing suits, and I do wear a Phillies jersey! 🙂
-Jon
I rarely dress well (ask Mrs. B) but have never felt out of place. That said I hate checkinginto a high end hotel looking like a schlub as I feel it may subtly affect the quality of room I receive (though have no evidence of that).
My first upgrade was July 1991 from IAD-MAD. At checkin desk my then-girlfriend and I were advised “the controller has upgraded your seat to biz class” because economy was oversold. I later learned from FT that this is known as an “op-up”. As that famous ad campaign said, you never forget your first (HT: parody by Larry Flynt)
@Fabio Lebruzzo if your clothes and accessories were in any way near as plebian as that Mazda everyone in the place recognized it the second they laid eyes on you.
@Jon Biedermann is spot on.
In my early days (the 1980’s) in Texas business, I quickly learned that bankers, lawyers and the ilk tended to treat me with more respect when I was in blue jeans than in a suit. The guy in a suit is most likely a flunky for the guy in blue jeans with a $100 million in oil wells.
Totally agree on the Park Hyatt Vendome. Fantastic! I stayed there once on points and even though I didn’t fit the typical high end mold of most guests all the staff there treated me like royalty. Sad to hear there is a bias in other parts of the world.
@Lee
“In Austria, I checked my wife and I in at breakfast”.
You showed you were out of place by your grammar. Would you say or write, “I checked I in…”? Then, why do you write, “I checked my wife and I in.”? Standard English is “I checked my wife and myself in at breakfast.”
You may as well have worn shorts and dirty sneakers. The Austrians knew better English than you. At best you showed up as nouveaux riches.
@Vazir
A bit comical to blast someone’s grammar mistake while making a blatant spelling mistake.
It’s nouveau riche
Not riches.
@Patti, @Vazir used the French spelling of the plural form of “nouveau riche”.
I always find European attitudes interesting. Decades ago I was on Ko Samet, Thailand, when apparently the local police went through and pushed the European visitors off of the island. I didn’t know it at the time but after that time there were a lot fewer visitors there. Other visitors, including Americans, were allowed to stay. From talking with some of the people left, I found out that the reason was topless sunbathing by the European women, which was frowned upon by Thai societal standards. Requests to cover up had to be repeated too often and weren’t met with the right attitude.