Work Mules, Mimosas, and Birthday Lies: The Funniest First-Class Upgrade Fails [Roundup]

by Gary Leff

News and notes from around the interweb:

  • Dress nicely and say it’s your birthday to get a free first class upgrade. At least they’re not telling people to whisper “revenue management.”

    If you’re not going to read actual true advice on how to upgrade, then you might as well follow this advice: “7 Ways To Get Bumped Up To First Class On Your Next Flight”

    It won’t work. Ever. But you’ll look like the biggest idiot ever have fun trying.

    Here are the two best tips:

    1. Present the pilot with a good, dependable work mule: Everyone loves a gift. If you give the pilot the gift of a strong, healthy work mule as you board the aircraft, it is customary for the pilot to immediately bump you up to first class.

    …3. Disguise yourself as a mimosa: Alcoholic beverages are complimentary in first class, so if you dress up as a cocktail, you can sit down without anyone realizing you’re actually a human who belongs in coach.

  • Federal Aviation Administration Mike Whitaker will resign on January 20, the day of President-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration. Whitaker, who was confirmed in October 2023 for a five-year term under President Joe Biden, could have stayed. In my writings and interviews on travel policy under a new administration, the question of whether Whitaker would resign loomed large – whether FAA would be an area that would see shifts.

    Assistant Administrator for Finance and Management Mark House will assume the role of acting deputy administrator. A new appointee will face challenges involving oversight of Boeing, antiquated air traffic control compounded by staffing challenges, and whether to kowtow to ALPA, American and Southwest in cracking down on smaller part 135 carriers who are necessary for the development of electric aircraft (and therefore ceding competitiveness to China).

  • So there’s that.

  • Love when crew take the initiative, sad they must do so on their own. Sometimes flight attendants put flowers in the lavatory themselves, too.

  • I’ve written many times about this – travel as a framework for understanding the world – having been someplace you understand far better what you read and hear about it after.

  • Waymo has matched Lyft’s market share in San Francisco.

    Also, there’s nothing cool about Uber anymore. They’ve destroyed that. Uber/Lyft are often the same cars and drivers. Use Uber as generic language (like Xerox or Kleenex) and pull up both apps, go with whichever is faster or cheaper.

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community InsideFlyer.com, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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Comments

  1. Remember, folks, as long as you call it a ‘gratuity’ you too can be like beloved mayor Adams and get free upgrades to business class. The key is to route through Istanbul, even if you want to go to Easter Island. Those moai aren’t going to move themselves!

  2. Other than knowing the CEO very well and said CEO willing to do you a huge favorite, the only sure fire way into first/business class is to pay for it.

  3. Of course, you don’t tip with a Waymo- that’s an advantage, too

    But my question is still, what happens when the Waymo gets trashed?

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