“Doctor Sabra,” a Seattle-based pharmacist on TikTok, flew Air France from Seattle to Paris and refused to switch her business class seat so that a family could travel together. “That’s a no from me dawg,” she declared to over 10 million viewers, who were overwhelmingly supportive in the comments.
- She was upgraded and had seat 1A
- Many consider this to be an undesirable seat actually because of proximity to the lavatory and the galley. I actually prefer row 1 because I don’t see all of the other passengers in the cabin and it feels more private.
- She had been offered row 8, which is similarly near crew and passenger activity.
A gate agent asked her if she’d switch prior to boarding, but the seat they offered her wasn’t appealing (she asked to see the seat map). I wouldn’t have wanted to move from row 1 to row 8, either. She called it ‘first class’ when it was actually business, on a Boeing 787-9 with no first class cabin..
The gate agent called my name before boarding. They were nice and asked me if I was willing to switch seats. I asked to see the alternative on the seat map. It was still first class but all the way in the back. I kindly said that I’d rather keep the seat I selected and she didn’t insist.
Some of you might feel that (1) she should have been indifferent between the seats, and (2) more charitable considering she was upgraded. But it was her seat and her preference at that point. And, it turns out, the kid was 13 so I’m not sure that they really needed to be seated beside a parent? In the end they were accommodated by another passenger.
@lifewithdrsabra That’s a no from me dawg 🤣 would you have given up your seat? Also they ended up finding a solution so no, i am not a terrible human being. Also the child was like 13.
If the mom wanted to sit with her kid, they should have pre-booked this. And they could have considered another flight if there weren’t any seats together. (It’s possible their flight had been cancelled, or they misconnected, and got rebooked but with Seattle as the destination of this flight that seems geographically unlikely even though Delta operates a hub there.)
At a minimum get as good a seat as you can to offer up in trade. Don’t expect someone to give up their seat for one that they’ll view as inferior. And maybe offer them something to do the trade?
- I was once asked to change seats so that a couple could sit together, only to learn that they were already seated together, they just didn’t like the bulkhead, and they stuck me with the bulkhead (I don’t like the bulkhead either!).
- A reader once gave up his premium seat so that a family could sit together only to have the family sell that seat to another passenger and not actually sit together.
Still, if you’re indifferent between seats that are on offer, helping a family is the nice thing to do! It’s even better when you’re offered a superior seat for your trouble. Or $20.
I flew on Saturday. I had 1C booked. Aisle seat. A mom with an infant in arms had booked 1B. The flight attendant (after being asked by the mom) had the gumption to ask me to move back to an empty seat in row 5 so the mom could have 1C for her and the infant. I refused, not least because the last empty seat in first-class was presumably going to a passenger on the upgrade list. If the mom wanted extra space she should have bought two seats. Period.
I’m sorry. 1D, not 1 B.
Seat-switching etiquette demands that the requester offer the requestee a better seat, not a worse one.
@Tom Exactly.
FNT Delta Diamond all you are is a first class prick
I had someone on Saturday ask me to switch so their child could sit with them. Child was probably about 10. They were upgraded at the gate per the app list. Wanted me to give up a single seat for a window on a two pair so they could sit in tandem. I suggested the person in the aisle may want the single seat (1A on Embraer 175). The mother looked annoyed. So I told her sorry but I prefer to be strapped to the seat listed for me on the manifest in case we crash. She moved on.
I took a quick glance at her TikTok. If you need a definition of narcissism here it is.
Maybe the trend of trying to punk someone with a worse seat will go the way of the dinosaur. I can only hope.
This may not be entirely the family’s fault. The AF seat selection system is weird when traveling with kids. When I traveled with my spouse and two kids, it would not allow us to pick two sets of center seats in a 1-2-1 seatup. We were only allowed to reserve the entire row across (leaving one of my kids is a window seat unattended). CS could not fix this and told me to ask the Gaye agent, which is may be what happened here.
BTW – this wasn’t a one off – I’ve had three flights where this has been an issue.
On the contrary side airfrance is notorious for last second equipment swaps with scrambling families apart so that is possibly what happened here. No way to know of course
I don’t know whether the seat-switch requests (or outright stealing/squatting and causing a scene) has gotten worse in the past few years, but I fly maybe 4 times a year and it’s happened to me at least 3 times. It’s also a very common topic on Airline Reddit. Are people feeling more entitled? Is it like that Seinfeld episode that “rules are just suggestions”? I don’t know, but I hope this annoying trend stops soon.
Air France does not allow you to book the middle section for kids in business class. Nobody is quite sure why. But that can’t be what happened here, because 1A would be a window seat, and a 13 year old isn’t considered a child (I think). Definitely can lead to weird situations though, and it’s especially dumb on planes like the older A350s where there are “coupled” middle section seats.
If can afford to fly first class, you can afford to dress like a grown up and ditch the G-damned yoga pants. Its first class…not gym class. Dr Sanra had a right to keep her seat but she should be reprimanded for dressing like a slob. Airlines need dress codes
Air France wouldn’t upgrade me and my 11 yr old to the last 2 seats Biz CDG DFW on Saturday because the seats were not together. Then when I got to CDG and asked again, Biz was full but they allowed me to upgrade to PE with 10A and 12D, nowhere near each other. I did ask the lady in 10C to swap with me and she did but I was not going to press it if she said no.
When I book on a 777 or 787, they will not let me book middle seats together due to “Security Reasons” . So I book windows and sit behind her. Usually 3L and 4L.
When I book the A350 – I can book middle seats together – We have had 2 E and F twice.
It makes no sense.
That being said, all biz seats are pretty private, who cares if you actually sit next to your 15 year old, you have dinner and go to sleep. The lady that would’nt switch seats is right, the bulkhead is more private than row 8.
@Gary:
I’m relatively new to your blog, I read it every day, and while I do enjoy a bit of back-and-forth if it’s witty or to-the-point, I must say it could use a bit of moderation.
@Malte’s comment is neither witty nor does it add to the discussion; just a mean, thoughtless one-off and not something we really need to see.
Malte – sorry you didn’t get the first class seat for your infant for free. Next time you can buy it – it apparently also comes with ‘prick’ privileges.
I’m willing to bet this didn’t happen and she just posted it for some “look at me in business class!” show-off clickbait under the guise of being a victim
“If the mom wanted to sit with her kid, they should have pre-booked this.”
C’mon Gary, don’t blame the family who didn’t prebook the seats together. Last week United changed a family member’s seat moved 3 rows away from our group while we were in the boarding line. We were Group 2 and the change happened just before Group 1 started. Ping – “Your seat has been changed” said the mobile notificaiton. I am usually a digital boarding pass person, now I’m considering going back to paper just to have proof of the original seating assignment.
No, No, No! Now days, we get to select our seat online and pay for it if required. Please don’t even ask me to switch. And, more importantly I sit where I sit for a reason.
As Tom said above, it’s another “Look at meeeeeeeee” moment brought to us by TikTok. Hey dawg, put your phone down. Fool.
“If can afford to fly first class, you can afford to dress like a grown up and ditch the G-damned yoga pants.”
If a woman can wear them properly, God bless them.
I had booked on line and chose, as usually, a D, aisle seat in a 3/3, 737 configuration. The two adjacentseats were occupied with a father and daughter (6/7 yo) The father asked if I would change seats with the wife/mother. I replied, “If it is an aisle seat” I looked back. She was occupying an aisle seat two rows back. I switched. During the boarding process, a passenger claimed I was in her seat. Her boarding pass indicated I was. The women I switched with was assigned the middle seat.
I got up, returned to my original,assigned seat, and requested my seat back. She complied. The daughter questioned the father why “mommy” wasn’t sitting with them. The father replied “The man won’t let mommy sit with us. A did a mental “F**k you”
A flight attendant became involved. Making snarky comments about people not being thoughtful. I told him I would accept another D seat or even a window seat in first class.
After an involved game of musical chairs, the family and another couple were united and I had my aisle seat. All this before push back from the gate.
I agree with @305 – she’s an influencer; she is incentivized to make a big deal out of things. Her logic was either:
1) “Look at me in business class!”, or in other words the Hollywood strategy of “fake it until you make it”
2) She knows there have been news stories that go viral about this sort of thing, so she could get some free publicity where people like us learn that she exists.
Long story short: influencer-culture brings out the worst in people, and every online entity is an influencer to some extent.
@305, my thoughts exactly – Nobody cares about sitting near their teenager in Biz. This is an attention grab.
I also was unable to upgrade my wife and child on an AF CDG-JFK flight due to only window seats being available. Tried calling AF and went to Cdg to sort it out. By the time I got there, there weren’t enough seats left to upgrade.
In business, don’t ask anyone to switch seats ever, idiots.
People are so annoying. I put my eye mask and over-the-ear headphones on as soon as I board. I suppose if a flight attendant shook me, I would have to acknowledge them. But, it would only be to say “no” and then just shrug at whatever else they had to say, unless there was some sort of legitimate emergency going on.
@Angie would hate me. I only fly business/first and I always wear loose jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. I’m in a lie flat seat so I can sleep, not so I can model my designer outfit for people like Angie lol.
@FNT Delta Diamond – I don’t know if I believe your story either. You CHOSE to sit next to a lap infant when there was an empty seat 4 rows away?
Malte – no, you would be the prick here. Other people’s failure to plan, or to be cheapskates, aren’t our problem.
Tom – so what? Doesn’t make her wrong.
Matt – waaa boo hoo.
Angie – stick up you much? It’s not 1963.
Gentleman Jack – GFYS. You’re not the censor.
Too many times I have gotten to my seat only to have someone sitting in it and presuming I would give them my seat since they were a couple or family. I have traveled with children and with my spouse. We paid the extra (when required) to choose our seats. This is just the cost of traveling. To expect others to gove up their seat to you and pressure you while everyone is piling up behind you is ridiculous. Do the work. Pay the money and plan for your vacation and/or travel accordingly.
Also … PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF LIFE BRING EAR PHONES OR BUDS FOR YOUR CHILD’S TABLET!
It wasn’t her seat originally. They should’ve taken back the upgrade and put her back in coach. If a seat is mine originally, I won’t give it up unless I get a better one.
@Mike:
I booked an aisle seat in the first row. The mom was too cheap to purchase two seats. She asked the FA to ask me to move. The offered seat was a window seat in the last row of first, a seat that by Delta rule should have gone to the passenger first on the upgrade list.
The baby was fine – by the way. Slept like a rock. Literally a case of a cheap mom too cheap to buy a second seat for space.
I don’t think she was obligated to change her seat, but there’s something perverse about publicly celebrating that decision. I may have kept my seat too, but it’s not something to gloat over.
But I suppose being a conceited narcissist is what got her 12 million views on the clip. Which is a larger conversation.
Some of the self centered narcissism demonstrated by folks nowadays is astounding… this isnt like asking for a first class seat for a middle in coach… have some perspective guys.
Some of these “i refused to switch” posts are becoming more like “i am an asshole” post…
As far as I understand there is a restriction on children sitting on the window due to the oxygen masks. Adult has to be seated adjacent.
She does have to move unless the crew insist , however
If she was upgraded free of charge then she should have been reseated to accommodate someone who paid.
Why do Americans refer to business as first and have to post everything on social media showing off and confirming what a moron they are?
It’s pretty clear that she saw this as an opportunity for content on her social media accounts and any thoughts or comity, empathy, generosity, or decency went out the window. She got what she wanted and this blog is providing more.
Just a thought from someone who never flew on a plane:
“somebody wants your jacket, give them your coat as well”,
“somebody makes you walk a mile, go two”,
“don’t complain, seek nothing in return”.
Seems tough, but maybe worth a try for our own sake?
Lucky AF even asked. Maybe one of their perks for flying in business?. I once had a bulkhead aisle in coach seat with them and was bounced to a middle seat in the back ‘for a family’ i was told.. It was about 10 years ago and the last time I flew AF coach.
I will switch to any not to sit next to infant or small child for long flight
There a lot of time two sides to this.
Booked a seat for my 1 yo, although not required, figured it’ll be more comfortable for me and other passengers on a long haul flight.
AA has no seats available, for a fee or otherwise, only option is to upgrade to business for $1,200 one way per ticket. Considering I already spent $1,800 on each ticket that’s a bit much for me.
Maybe I’ll cancel my infants ticket and fly in business with the kid on my lap.
Point is, sometimes it’s not the family but the airlines fault.
Gotta say, 99% of these stories about people who were shamed into moving from a seat they had carefully chosen to help people sit together, I fully understood and supported them not moving if they are offered an inferior seat to swap. But this one I don’t get. She was upgraded so she didn’t pick the 1A seat, she lucked into it. She was offered what’s generally an equivalent seat in the trade, though I get that she had a preference for the one she got. (I’ve never been given a choice of seat when I am upgraded, though if I am upgraded in advance I can sometimes move my seat.)
So no, you should not be expected or shamed to trade your seat to give up something you took a special effort to get, like an aisle or window. But while some people said, “The family should have made the effort to get seats together” this is biz class. They paid. It’s just often there aren’t seats together and you take what you can get. Being together with your travel partner (child or adult) is quite a bit more valuable to folks than just not having to see passengers in front of you. It’s hard to see the comparison. If she said she switched to row 1 because it has a bigger footwell (sometimes they do) I would be all with her.
Agree that the real story here is the role we allow “influencers” to play in our society. The fact that it happened to be about an airplane seat is entirely secondary. Speaking of cultural deterioration, the pot shots that some readers take in the Comments section are…disappointing. Maybe think about what you would say to someone standing in front of you before you say it to them online. Just one man’s opinion.
I absolutely love all the comments assuming that it is parents’ fault. Did you ever consider that sometimes you have no choice to be separated even if you did your max to be seated together? I would love to know how many of the persons finding normal to say no have kids and were already in the same situation?…. At what point in time compassion and understanding fell behind egoism?
I book my seats in advance, usually pay a fee to do so. No way am I giving up my seat for anyone. You want it pay me for it.
@ Matt the coffeeman
We flew iad-cdg in J on AF Friday. Family of 4 including a 4 year old and a 2 year old. The AF site let us book 2 sets of middle seats, but checking in at iad they made us switch to a full row. Luckily there was a full row available. The middle J seats just aren’t good with little kids. If one made a run for it up an aisle there’s almost no way to stop it since there’s such a long way between middle seats. The full row ended up being much better.
Whenever, I’m flying out I choose my seat due to the fact I love to be comfortable. I always choose an aisle seat also closer to the front.
I feel if you’re a family or a couple When making reservations for your flight ✈️ you should definitely choose your seats in advance so you all can be together. If I pay for my seat I definitely will not be given it up for no one. Some of these complaints about having other passengers switch seats is ridiculous. It apparently looks like they choose to let the airline choose a seat for them and now becomes dissatisfied when they found out they are not sitting together. It’s their fault.
I don’t know which bothers me more, that people feel entitled to seats that aren’t theirs or that articles like this make the news. As one person so eloquently suggested, if you want your family to sit together, book it in advance. If the seats aren’t available, suck it up for the few hours that you are on the plane. Who knows, you might meet someone interesting.
Sometimes people with a child or children act like they’ve been specially anointed and should have rights, privileges or attitudes of near sainthood. You chose to have children, huge responsibility, deal with it. Through my taxes I already help pay for your child’s education in most cases that’s enough.
@Angie
Have you ever considered that those who can afford first class can also afford not to care what others think?