Dad Sits In Coach While His Two Daughters Live It Up In First Class—Then He Asks Passengers To Switch Seats

There have been plenty of controversial stories about a husband flying first class while his wife and kids sit in coach. Maybe he got the upgrade, and only one seat was available. Or he was on a business trip and had to be rested, so the company paid for his seat.

But this story about a family splitting up on the plane is genuinely new to me: the kids fly first class while the dad sits in coach.

I guess it doesn’t surprise me that he then proceeded to ask whether anyone in first class would switch with him, taking his coach seat while he watches the kids in first?

  • He’s too cheap to pay for the seat in the first place, or there were only two seats available for sale
  • He figures that he may get a sucker who wants him watching his kids enough to give up their own seat
  • If he wants everyone to be together, he should offer the first class seats his kids have to the two passengers in his coach row.

Parents have flown first class while leaving their kids alone in coach, justifying it as teaching them a life lesson which I guess is to subject your children to other passengers while you day drink? The intention is that they don’t enjoy the fruits of your labor, I think, until they’ve learned to earn it for themselves.

I do think it’s something that many parents worry about – creating so much comfort that their kids lose the hunger. Years ago Bear Stearns chairman Ace Greenberg used to like to hire “P.S.D.s” – Poor, Smart, with a deep Desire to become rich. You don’t want them to lose the desire to become whatever lets them use their talents, whatever they are, to the fullest.

At the same time, you want to give them the support which is freedom to fail, not to have to be so focused on a pay check to get by, so that they can take risks and use their talents, whatever they are, to the fullest.

Being apart from your family for a few hours isn’t itself tragic, but at the same time when I look back on traveling with children when I’m 70 or even 80, will I have wanted to spend time more focused on a whatever I’m doing at my seat or on my child?

I suppose I understand the argument for not flying kids in premium cabins, and it’s probably ok to leave them in back when they’re teens. At younger ages, if you want them in back you should travel with them there.

What I do not understand is putting kids in first class and the parents in back. Maybe the parents think the smaller cabin means flight attendants are more likely to notice them and baby sit?

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community InsideFlyer.com, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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Comments

  1. No info on age or flying experience of the kids which would be helpful. If they are really young, have experience flying and are well behaved I have no problem with a parent letting their kids experience first class alone (not like he wasn’t close by). Seriously doubt they “lived it up” as you over dramatized so good for him. Now asking someone to switch from first so he could sit there and “watch the kids” (which likely didn’t need watching) is a bad move and hopefully no one took him up on it.

  2. Yeah, story is useless without knowing the age of the kids. If they’re teens it’s no problem — suck it up in coach, dad. If they’re five or six year olds, they should not be allowed to sit up front on their own and the FA should bump them back to coach with dad.

    If the kids are old enough to be on their own and dad wants to give them a treat — well, that’s great, God bless him. But to use them as a tool to cheap out on buying his own business class is disgusting.

  3. Another story about an entitled person trying to get someone else to trade dollars for pennies. I’m glad no one fell for it. I’m also glad that the daughters got to spend some time away from their father. Using Bear Stearns as an example of anything good is probably a bad choice since Bear Stearns collapsed and went on to build Chase after being sold for pennies on the dollar.

  4. Kids flying in a different class than the parents qualify as UM service( unaccompanied minor). So the crew have to pay special attention. But not enough details available

  5. Come on Gary, it’s one thing to post this story but your comments are silly because there are no ages. You have a young kid – so yes, leaving a first grader alone in coach while mom and dad day drink in first is horrific and you will regret it.
    I travelled to Europe with my three kids this summer and *gasp* my wife and I never sat close to them: economy plus vs not. But it turns out when your kids are all in high school (a) literally not a soul on the plane cared and (b) they don’t want to be around you. We were lucky they wanted to come on vacation (this is a thing, your kids won’t always love you, so yes sit with them when they are young!).
    So age really matters here.

  6. The mom was in coach with the kids so why should father make the ridiculous & selfish request for himself & not the wife?

  7. I’m totally down with parents in first class and kids in coach as long as the kids are well behaved.

    Kids are smaller so they don’t need the extra space. They also don’t need the free alcohol.

  8. Most promo award flights using lowest number of points only have 2 seat available . To find 3 seats , you usually need to look for more expensive awards. Dad most likely booked promo award with only 2 seats available in first class . Nothing wrong done… up until the Dad asked for a free upgrade at the expense of another passenger . This – is – LOW …

  9. I wonder if this is the typical, “Try to get a better seat for free tactic.” Although this one is extreme (trying to trade up to FC), I’ve usually heard something like these:

    1) A husband/wife — one is in Economy, one in E+. They want the E+ person to switch to Economy so they can sit together. (Often a middle seat.)

    2) Same tactic but it’s an issue of a family not sitting together. Again, willing to trade their crappy seat for a better seat. This one sometimes includes “bullying and extortion via the guilt trip” if there is a child who is hesitant to not be sitting near their parents.

  10. I’m with @jns and @Elle, it is ALMOST NEVER OK to ask to trade up (gratis) to a better seat than a worse one that you have. About the only example that comes to mind that would be OK is a case where one or both parents are traveling with their Toddlers, and due to a flight cancelation get rebooked on a flight where neither parent is with their kids. Even in this case, I would recommend the parents asking the FA to approach other PAX.

  11. Gee whiz, all the speculation, woulda, shoulda. For s five hour flight, 500 USD cash immediately.

  12. He should have offered at least 1k to switch, he should have offered the people near him in coach to switch if it was that important to be by his kids

  13. You can say what you want about first class but you do get a much much higher level of attentive service.

    That being said, kids in 1st, ugh.

    I was flying out of BOS to IAH about 6 months ago on the 0600 flight. Lounge was also most deserted except for a few people and a couple with two tween girls who were extremely loud. I said to myself, I feel sorry for whoever has to sit next to them on a flight. Turned out that someone was me. There were across the aisle from me in first. Noise cancelling headphones are great.

  14. I’ve done this exact thing on an occasion or two. Wife and I took the coach seats while our “tween” daughters rode in business class on a short haul hop.

    You may wonder why? Only 2 J seats were available on the flight, it was Egypt Air, we wanted to reduce the risk of a creeper doing something untoward to them/around them. Near zero repercussions for a perpetrator in the developing part of the middle-east/North Africa. Placing the kids up front next to each other was a simple solution to reduce the likelihood of any unwanted and unwelcome interactions.

  15. How about asking two of the people in coach if they would mind switching with their kids in first class then they could all be together.

  16. When booking a flight, I booked my family seated together.
    It’s a no brainer.
    It’s not like we are back in the day when you were assigned your seat when you checked in at the airport.
    Back then, if your were the last to check in, it was possible not to get seats together.

  17. Seriously, pay at least triple the price for first class there is absolutely ZERO chance I’m trading with anyone in economy.

    Let the daughters treat with someone in economy to sit with Dad

  18. When did this turn into a family lecture blog?
    I agree with many things here but come on!

    Also, “…passengers while you day drink?”

    What the hel1 is wrong with day drinking?
    More moral lecturing?

  19. I can’t believe someone would have the ballz to ask a 1st class passenger to mice to a Coach for free.
    No one is that stupid….or gullible

  20. To begin with, why weren’t the FAs stopping with passenger who is going around first class trying to get somebody to move? I do like the idea of selling the first class seat if someone wants to upgrade to be with their children. They can give me the money through an electronic cash transfer system on the spot. If he wants to sit with his children so much he can pay for the privilege.

  21. I think it’s time airlines do not let parents book seatsfor.minors unaccompanied that way these families won’t be causing so many issues when it comes time too travel

    Plan ahead book seats together stop infringing on others

  22. The last time I flew with my 9 year old daughter, there was only one seat in first class remaining when we arrived at the gate for our rebooked flight. I had the first two positions on the waitlist, and she wanted to board by herself first and sit there. So, I sat in the first coach row behind the bulkhead. What father doesn’t want the best for their children? Looking back though, I think it did create an unreasonable expectation on her part, but I really didn’t mind, as I fly daily and am usally upgraded for each flight. Neither of us was entitled to a better seat, but she appreciated the upgrade. The gentleman she was sitting next to said that I should be considered for father of the year. I just thought it was a nice gesture, but I certainly would never have asked anyone to move back to coach. My children are generally well behaved and have flown with me enough times in first that she knew the routine and proper etiquette. So, I did not worry about her needing any supervision.

  23. btw, what happened to the smart deep desire guys in Bear Stearns?
    Last I heard the feds bailed them out by fire sale to Chase.

  24. Um this guy is a tool. I gladly let my kids fly business first while sitting in coach. I am 1k so they bring me snack boxes and alcohol. Sometime my kids give me there meal too.

  25. @SNA_babu jeffrey epstein and ghislaine maxwell sat in first so stop the snobby classism and get real

    Many of you exemplify cancel culture from partial stories missing key details. Perhaps this was a last minute rebook due to irregular operations situation. Perhaps he did offer payment to switch. Calm down Karen.

  26. why all the vitriol directed at Gary? He is accused above of writing about nothing important, about assuming moral positions, and of writing click bait. what is wrong with all you people? Don’t you have anything better to do than criticize the author of a worthwhile blog? I found the topic actually quite interesting as it bears on social norms, raising entitled children and the like. Just remember the old adage: “if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything“

  27. Pay for seats together with your kids. First or coach doesn’t matter. They’re your responsibility. So you end up in the back of the plane, so be it.

  28. One time I was flying with my wife and I got upgraded to First class but not my wife. So been being the dirt bag I was I swapped seats with the person next to my wife so I could make some go sit in first class hell.

  29. As I tell my travel group members, should you be approached to swap seats, just reply, “I’m comfortable where I am, thank you!”
    Should someone persist, just get the FA to handle the situation or hit the call button.

  30. He should have his daughters join him In coach and then ask a couple of coach passengers to switch seats with his daughters.

    That’s the only fair way to do it.

  31. I have a feeling he wanted his young kids to ge able to share a FC seat

    I’ve seen thus done on southwest if you have young kids who could share the middle seat with parents on each side

  32. No one under 18 should be allowed in 1st/Business regardless of whether their parents are there with them

  33. I received two upgrades on a MCO-PHL flight when my kids were teenagers. My wife and I decided to have the kids fly upfront. It was no big deal, but we never asked other passengers in FC to give up their seats.

  34. This should be a federal offense. Too much? Okay, flight attendants should be trained to ask customers to please go to their assigned seats. No discussion, no siding with the parent, boyfriend, etc. It’s a con and flight attendants need to be trained to spot it.

  35. I am sure two economy class passengers will be glad to give up their seats so his daughters can sit in economy with him.

  36. We in 1st class once and the man in front of me would occasionally go back to coach. As we were leaving a young girl from coach, around 11yrs old, left the plane with him. My only thought was what if the plane had an emergency and she was alone in coach?

  37. Stupid father, must be a TRUMPEE dope… failed high school grad.. give him an oxygen mask and a seat in baggage compartment

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