For Two Hours, The Baby Screamed—And The Parents Did Nothing. 16 Million Watched This Delta Passenger Explode.

Pat McAuliffe of Barstool Sports went viral complaining about a Delta flight, with over 16.5 million people viewing his video losing it over a child screaming on the plane – and saying that the parents weren’t doing enough to stop it. His language in the tweets and in his videos is more than a little salty.

I’ve been seeing this video for days in Delta’s twitter feed – first when I was inflight with a lap infant myself – and held back from commenting. As a parent, I think he’s being a jerk but that he’s also right.

  • If the parents really aren’t going to visibly extreme efforts to manage the situation (and just ‘trying’), they should be doing more. Even if there’s not much they can do in an extreme case, they should performatively make clear they’re doing all that they can.

  • I disagree with One Mile at a Time that it was necessarily “much worse for the parents” than for other passengers, and I’ve seen cases where the parents checked out, or fought with each other, rather than addressing the needs of their child.

He continues,

I do feel bad for the parents but at some point you gotta try something new. Walk his ass up and down the aisle, distract him, do something. It’s still going on. Simply praying it’ll stop is not acceptable

At what point does this become a medical emergency? It’s been two hours. Also why are these people not at least talking to their kid to soothe him? STAND UP AND WALK HIM AROUND

And then he declares himself ‘free at last, free at last’ as though he’s Martin Luther King Jr.

The truth is that children can often be better behaved than adults. Whether children cry or act out is in fact often a function of how the parents prepare and react! At the same time, some kids are just easier to travel with than others.

My daughter was an amazing traveler when she was an infant and toddler. We took her to Australia, Paris (twice), Bora Bora and many other places in her first year and a half. Flight attendants would often comment they didn’t realize there was a baby in the cabin. Other passengers frequently commented her (and us). Sure, we did our best. But she was just easy.


Park Hyatt Paris


View From Villa 105 at Conrad Bora Bora

My son is pretty good on planes, but he’s not as good as she was. We just flew to Australia and back with him. He slept a lot, but when he was up we worked hard to make sure he was engaged and not disturbing anyone in the cabin that was trying to sleep. I walked the aisles with him, played with him in the lavatory, and kept him occupied. Traveling with an almost one year old is hard work!


View From Park Hyatt Sydney

Hopefully he’ll grow into the traveler that my daughter is. By four she was doing back-to-back long hauls without so much as a shrug. It helped when one of the segments was in her own Etihad Apartment. She loved the novelty, space and independence of it. Since that time she’s loved interacting herself with cabin crew. She wants to order food and drinks herself – or ask them if she has difficulty with seat back entertainment.

Here are 11 things we do that make travel go so much more smoothly, keep kids happy, and leave other passengers breathing a sigh of relief.

  1. For newborns, be prepared to feed them right away. Newborns sleep a lot which is great for flying, though I think a sweet spot for trave is really between 3 and 9 months. The needs of a newborn are pretty limited.. sleep, eat, change diaper and they’ll cry if they’re uncomfortable so be prepared to move them around and change their context a bit.

    Difficult newborns cry at different levels, but for most it’s for a reason. They get hungry often, so be prepared to feed them. If you’re bottle-feeding, have those pre-made where possible (you can bring water, including distilled water, through security in whatever quantities you need when it’s for your baby).

    The faster you can address their need, the faster you’ll cut crying short. Your fellow passengers (and your baby!) will thank you.

  2. For infants and toddlers, be ready to keep them occupied. Have lots of activities. Just as at home, the attention span of a small child is limited so you’re going to need to be switching up their activities frequently.

  3. Bring plenty of snacks. A hungry child gets restless and angry. Kids snack more often at home, so don’t rely on the airline’s meal and snack schedule to meet the child’s needs. Also, the airline’s choices are limited. While my wife and I have gone to great lengths to feed our daughter the same foods we eat, that’s usually good food and plane food often isn’t. So you may have to supplement or replace airplane meals, too, with snacks your kids will eat.

  4. Give yourself – and them – plenty of space if you can. While non-parents often say that kids don’t belong in first class, having more space is going to be less stressful for the child. It’s going to mean less climbing over seats and onto other passengers. That’s actually a kindness to the kids and to everyone else. More room to maneuver means more room in which to keep them occupied and engaged – so redeem upgrades and awards for premium cabins if you can!


    KLM Business Class

    I’m a huge defender of lap infants. I believe requiring children under two to have their own seat would make air travel less affordable – and therefore fewer trips by air, and perhaps more trips on the road. That’s less safe.

    At the same time, buying that extra seat for the child if you can does make things a lot less stressful and more comfortable. And as soon as they’re able to use it, the CARES harness is fantastic.

  5. Pick the right seats. That means choosing bulkheads are bassinet seats on long haul aircraft with many airlines if you’re traveling with an infant, but at a minimum making sure you have seats assigned together – with your child, and also with your partner if traveling with them. For many kids, be sure they have a window seat. Seeing out is wonder when you’re in the air, and some kids might melt down if they want to look out the window and can’t (or might try to climb over another passenger to get there).

    I loved the Qantas first class ‘newborn cubby’ on their Airbus A380.

    And the British Airways first class child seat.

  6. For long haul, take off close to bedtime. They’ll get tired out in the airport, and the plane is a giant white noise machine. It’s great for sleeping.

  7. For short haul, fly midday. You don’t want to disrupt their sleep patterns. You don’t want to have to wake them too early to go to the airport, or keep them up way too late traveling. Exhausted and overstimulated kids have meltdowns, and the best way to avoid it is to travel according to their schedule.

  8. Be prepared to overnight. Enroute to Bora Bora we spent the night in Los Angeles. Flying straight through from Austin to LA and on to French Polynesia just seemed risky with our then-one year old. We had a long layover before our Air Tahiti Nui flight home, so we got a room at the Intercontinental Papeete even just for a few hours of sleep. When my daughter had just turned three we even employed the overnighting strategy to and from Hawaii.


    Ritz-Carlton Marina del Rey as an LAX airport hotel

    And just getting a few hours’ rest was enough about nine months later to fly home San Francisco – Austin after getting off of a Sydney – San Francisco flight. (I had booked a connecting flight several hours after landing in San Francisco and a separate award flight the next day. We napped a few hours at the airport Grand Hyatt and decided to make it home same day, cancelling our next day flight as we taxied out.)


    Grand Hyatt SFO

    In March we broke up our Paris trip with a night in Toronto, too. We didn’t ask a 9 month old to do two flights in a day, and that kept the transatlantic journey to about 8 hours. Breaking up long trips with several components and getting as much rest as possible helps a lot!

  9. Keep to your normal bedtime routine. Something that’s worked really well for my daughter is to stick to her usual routine so that she expects to and is ready to go to sleep on an overnight flight. That means brushing teeth and changing into pajamas in the lavatory, and then I read her three books and tell her two stories. By the time that’s done she knows and accepts it’s time for bed even though we’re on a plane.

  10. Unlimited tablet time is ok on flights. A lot of parents want no electronics whatsoever. I think that, with guidance about what they’re watching and playing, tablet time can develop useful skills and that the key is moderation and balance. On planes, balance goes out the window but that also makes the trip exciting. It’s a clear space in which the normal rules don’t apply, in a way that’s easy to understand and doesn’t bleed over into expectations of similar tablet use at other times.

    This way they can entertain themselves, and you can get a bit of a break from entertaining them on the long haul flight. It keeps them engaged, avoids their becoming too squirmy, and benefits the rest of the passengers in the cabin, too. Seat back entertainment screens can also work, but I prefer to have a plethora of preloaded age-appropriate content.

  11. When a child cries, it’s usually for a reason. Know what they’re telling you, and game out in advance how you might respond. I think that most passengers understand if it happens, and as long as you’re ready to respond you’ll get plenty of grace.

    I’ve also seen parents tune out and give up, and that’s when tensions ratchet – because they’re visibly not parenting. Other passengers bear the brunt and then they’re full of scorn. Just prepare, and you’ll have a much wider birth for things to go a little bit of plan.

With the right preparation, you’ll be able to travel the world – to show things to your kids, to connect with family, to experience things as a family – and even getting there can be a positive part of the trip. Once you’ve done it a few times, kids get to know the drill. It becomes familiar and routine, and far easier. They know security and won’t worry about giving up their stuffed animal (they’ll get it right back), they know the airport, and they’re excited to head down the jetbridge and into a seat for the next many hours.

Of course, with miles and points making the world smaller and premium cabins accessible, you’ll want to give them some balance too. Maybe a few Southwest flights thrown in! More than once my daughter, when she was three, asked a flight attendant in the galley on boarding whether the Boeing 737 had beds? I quickly learned this was something to discuss in advance. But the more you talk through and they know what to expect, the easier it is too.

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community InsideFlyer.com, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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Comments

  1. All good advice, but in some cases, it’s something else. In the case of our 3 month old, who screamed almost the entire flight to Frankfurt from Toronto (though this was a LONG time ago), it turned out that her ears were killing her. We tried everything on the flight and only realized what it was years later when on any flight she was on, she had problems, and still does to this day, with her ears. So, yes, do what you can, and for the rest, be respectful of the passengers, the parents, and the baby or child.

  2. Yeah your advice is great, except that for most families the reality is flights are going to be chosen on price, rather than staying at the Ritz or picking the best first class seat.

  3. The sound of a baby crying is like having a telephone ringing that you cannot stop or a car alarm that keeps sounding and nobody can stop it. Frustrating but out of your hands.

  4. Why would anyone want to ruin their own trip by tending to all the parenting chores necessary on an airplane or at a luxury resort far away? The best option for everyone is to have a very trusted person care for their child in their home or in theirs until the child is old enough to understand and enjoy the trip.

  5. I do not get upset at a baby crying even if it goes on for hours. The whole situation would have been resolved if BarstoolPAT had been kicked off of the airplane at high altitude without a parachute. Think of it as post birth abortion. Everyone was a baby once and almost every baby seems to be inconsolable at times. On my flight a few days ago a baby was crying because of the change in air pressure as we came into land. It was what it was. The baby was quiet again around the time we were on the ground.

  6. Three words: dog whistle app

    Friendly to aged, adult ears. Not so friendly to youthful ears. Mwuahahahaha you’re welcome!

  7. I flew to Heathrow on a Virgin Atlantic in Upper Class. The little kid in the next row, not an infant, whined, cried, screeched ALL NIGHT. The parents did nothing. Forget the cost of everyone’s seat, NO ONE should have been subjected to this. Get the pediatrician to prescribe something before travel. Otherwise, check the kid as luggage. Usually the pressurization in the aircraft causes ear problems in little kids as they don’t know how to “valsalva”. Give the “screech & screamer” something to suck on…candy, pacifier, etc. That usually will allow their ears to “pop”.

  8. I don’t think children who aren’t at least able to walk should be allowed to fly. What happens if there’s an emergency and something happens to the parent? Who is supposed to take responsibility for an infant or toddler? Likewise, I really don’t think children of any age should be allowed to fly without a parent. The airline shouldn’t be responsible. My parents never allowed me to fly until I was 16.

  9. Growing up my parents had enough sense to make sure when we flew as a family we didn’t bother and annoy others. They would have never taken us on a redeye as small children. But that has changed now. Two miserable little monsters were so bad the other day at the MIA AA FL the staff had to get involve and threaten to throw the family out of the lounge. That’s where we are today. And we would are surprised that when they become adults that they turn into morbidly obese, blue hair, hate the world, cant’ keep even a low level job, still living at home adults.

  10. Children under 16 years of age do not belong on flights. Nor do pets. Nor do passengers who require “service animals.” Full stop.

  11. Once the kids are a little older, the ideal seating in economy is actually two-behind-two. That way, if the kids want to sit together they can sit behind the parents (where any seatback shenanigans will only disturb the parents) and, if they’re not getting along, you can move them into separate rows where each child is with a parent, and both kids can have window seats.

  12. Good points Gary, but after watching the video I put big blame on Delta. How can you walk the kid when Delta doesn’t have a gate agent and the plane is stuck on the tarmac. None of your ideas would help much when you can’t move and are stuck.

  13. Few years back flying to Madrid the parents put two small children (prob 4 and 6) together in middle seats business class and took the windows. The couple in the middle seats in front of the kids offered to switch with the parents so they could each sit with a kid and they said no. They proceeded to go to bed after meal service and left the children awake. They played games all night with sound on and no headphones. I asked the flight attendant to put headphones on them since that is not allowed on the plane (their rules announced on boarding). I was told we are not allowed to speak to children. Then I said okay ask one of the parents. They said no we are not allowed to wake sleeping passengers. So I said fine I would wake the parent and she told me no I was not allowed. So my husband and I didn’t sleep on the overnight flight and those two kids were not disturbed.

  14. There’s an easy solution for the airlines: offer something like ScootInSilence.

  15. Post days that yhe Drkta plane late and HOT.
    The baby was probably hot, like the adults and uncomfortable.
    Cool compresses on the baby’s forehead and around it’s neck should have been comforting
    This worked for mr.

  16. When I’m in that situation, I put my noise cancelling AirPods Pro on and it just fades into the background… You can’t control others, only yourself.

  17. AirPods or earphones combined with Bose noise cancelling headphones.

    Still undefeated.

  18. Ah, yes, mocking Dr. King’s “I Have a Dream” speech by comparing a temporary inconvenience on a flight to the intergenerational plight of enslavement and discrimination… cool. Cool, cool, cool…

  19. If I’m paying 4K for a business class seat, I sure as hell don’t want to bothered by a toddler.

    Get in steerage, or better yet, stay at home. Road trip to Disney or some other shithole amusement park.

  20. @ Samus Aran
    LOL.,. My 1st ignorant thought/reaction to ‘ScootinSilence” was that it was a ‘magical’ airline signature mocktail, specific to ‘soothe” boisterous little ones ( Consumer alert: contains “chemicals”) !1. { Wishful thinking … ! } I was then enlightened after googling it. But then it raised the serious question of what Scoot would do in the ‘remote possibility’ of a noncompliant, non-quiet, misbehaving pax ( of any age ) seated in that zone ? Do they have a blocked, otherwise unoccupied zone for the guilty outcasts ? Maybe the surcharge would be ‘cheerfully refunded’ to the ‘victims’…
    A great idea in theory, but doubtful of its ‘execution’ ( sorry for that choice of word ) !!!

  21. Where can you get paragoric these days? Even get a prescription? Couple of drops in a bottle works miracles.

  22. Long ago, on a flight with a big delay in SEA and a diversion to Anchorage, I walked our baby in circles around the coach section of a widebody pretty much all the way from Seattle to Narita. The kid never slept much for a baby at home, and he was just being fussy — not crying, just noisy from being bored. But he was smiling and happy as long as I walked him around facing out so that he could look at everything.

    We were seated near the front of coach. When we landed, we waited until the end to deboard as we had a lot of stuff to deal with, but half the plane must have waved and said a friendly “Bye” to him as they walked by. I was exhausted but felt really good about the experience.

    Sometimes, ya just gotta do what ya gotta do.

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