A British ostensible ‘real estate mogul’ sits in premium cabins with his wife, while leaving the kids in back. He says he subjects other passengers to his kids to avoid spoiling them (the kids, but also one supposes the other passengers).
In fact, the kids are with a nanny and it seems the couple just don’t want to be with the kids. Children need business class space less – they just aren’t as big! I have to wonder whether the lesson is that they get something nicer once they’ve earned it themselves, or that the parents want to enjoy themselves and prefer not to be bothered with their children.
@samuel_leeds Don’t worry, they were sat with their nanny ❤️ dint spoil your children #samuelleeds #richpeopleproblems #spoiledchild ♬ original sound – Samuel Leeds
My four year old daughter did recently board a domestic flight (on a Boeing 737) and as we stepped off the jet bridge asked the flight attendant in the galley whether the plane had beds? She’s fine in a coach seat but she loves flights where we do a bedtime routine. We get her into pajamas, I read books to her and tell her a story, and then she goes to sleep. It’s fun!
I’ll never have generational wealth, but it certainly matters how kids in that circumstance are brought up. The old saying is that the first generation makes it, second grows it, then third one blows it.
I’m fortunate to have a good full-time job and to write this site which earns money also. Our business and first class travel is funded with points, and it’s something I never expected to be a part of my life growing up. I know I’ll invest in my daughter – both seeing the world and experiencing more than I saw as a child (and I got to visit family in Australia growing up!) and in her education.
However I do think it’s something that many parents worry about – creating so much comfort that their kids lose the hunger. Years ago Bear Stearns chairman Ace Greenberg used to like to hire “P.S.D.s” – Poor, Smart, with a deep Desire to become rich. You don’t want them to lose the desire to become.. whatever lets them use their talents, whatever they are, to the fullest.
On the other hand you want to give them the support which is freedom to fail, not to have to be so conservative that the most important thing is surviving, so that they can take risks and… use their talents, whatever they are, to the fullest.
Most of all though I want to be with my family and that’s something very selfish. When I look back on this time when I’m 70 or even 80, will I have wanted to spend time more focused on a meal on a plane than on my child? I think the key to avoid spoiling them is helping them with context, so they understand how special the things you’re doing together are and simply not being blase’ about them yourself.
How do you balance giving your kids experiences – alongside you – without making them take those experiences for granted?
To fly the nanny and 2 kids in international business could easily be a $15,000+ difference over economy or premium economy. I don’t think this is unreasonable at all. Most folks that can afford to fly international business and travel with a nanny didn’t amass their wealth by being flippant with their money and, as you note, the kids don’t really need the extra space.
Hmmm, wealthy parents seating their child or children in Coach WITH a Nanny to care for and look after them? LOL, not a problem…why would it be? As long as the child/children is/are comfortable and cared for by someone they know (and trusted by the parents), it seems like a perfectly OK situation to me.
I have four kids 3 in college, 1 in High School. When helped start a computer business in 2001, the hosting/server company treated credit card payments the same as cash (i.e., no discount for paying by check), so my boss let me use my BoA USAirways card and racked up the miles ($30k spend per month on servers!). So we had the miles and was Chairman’s preferred by 2005. Those were the ‘golden years’ IMO.
Back then (and sometimes still now?) you could ‘gift’ anyone a 3 month silver membership, so with the help of the very nice agent, she gifted all of my kids Silver, since she knew that there were plenty of upgrades left on the upcoming PHL-MCO flight. So that was their first taste of 1st class… the youngest was just 3 years old and had his own seat! 🙂
Several years later, my wife had miles too, so we always book separately with one kid each, and sometimes we get 4 upgrades, usually two (currently EP here on AA, Mrs. is Gold)
I won’t say my kids are/were perfect, but they were very, very, very well behaved when they were in coach alone (because, you know, under penalty of death when we got home! 😉 lol. My oldest daughter made sure her three younger brothers were in line, too. We would rotate the 1st class seat(s) among them, and then they started trading amongst themselves, lol. I.E., on a short flight it might be Michael’s turn, but Brian really wanted it. Michael (smartly) traded his 1st class seat for the much longer flight in 2 months. A good trade if you ask me?
So, to answer the question- yes, my wife and I have left our kids in coach. We never heard issues- in fact, quite the opposite- flight attendants would remark how well they are behaved***.
-Jon
*** As (most?) parents know, their kids are ‘perfect angels’ in public. Within the household???? ummmmm……. 😉
In Feb I took my two 8 yo daughters in business JFK-LAX rt. It was a last minute booking on points and the overage J vs Y wasn’t too bad. Now they want nothing to do with coach.
Too bad as that is where we are sitting for the rest of the year :D.
The video they posted was cringe worthy AF, but then again Gary’s story was almost even worse
They probably could have gone private.
1. They were attended by an adult.
2. No problem splitting a family if the kids are old enough to be by themselves. My kids have been flying by themselves since 13 or 14. And internationally at that age as well. Sometimes kids don’t get everything their parents do. Them flying to some foreign location is way more than most kids got even 35 years ago.
3. If the kids complain about getting put in coach, always remember this quote by P.J. O’Rourke: “I have a 10 year old at home, and she is always saying, ‘That’s not fair.’ When she says that, I say, “Honey, you’re cute; that’s not fair. Your family is pretty well off; that’s not fair. You were born in America; that’s not fair. Honey, you had better pray to God that things don’t start getting fair for you.”
Back in my travel agent days we had a very wealthy client from South America who always flew first class with his wife but had his daughter fly coach. Once, our agency owner asked him why that was since he could obviously afford to fly the daughter in first class as well. He replied that if he flew her in first class, what could a husband offer her that she didn’t already have? A bit dated on gender roles but interesting nonetheless.
I’ve done that. They are only going to watch movies. They were too young to drink.
I haven’t attempted it with the wife though.
This is an amazing post from you. You’re nailing it as a Dad. Well done.
The purpose of having a nanny is to have someone care for the children so the parent is not responsible for every little thing. There’s no issue with putting the nanny and the kids in coach. I also don’t see it sends any type of message. It’s great you fly your kids in business or first but as a passenger in business or first; it’s great you read bedtime stories to your kid. However, not everyone has to behave such as you do.
As a little kid in the 1970s and 1980s my parents would fly up front and I would be in the back with my little sisters. We never had any major issues and I learned how to care for my little sisters. These were trips from LA to the Middle East when that was on a 707 with routes like LAX > JFK > Paris/London > and then on to the Middle East. We didn’t care that they were in front and we were in the back. The other pax in front who paid extra for comfort didn’t have to deal with kids being kids. Once I was 11 we started doing long-haul multi-leg as UMs. No troubles, usually on Swiss AIr who had a great room full of lego in Zurich.
I did the same with my daughter. When she once sat up front with me due to a full flight she didn’t get the point of spending so much more when you could do really cool things with the thousands of $s saved.
First an Ace Greenberg correction: He said he liked to hire PhDs: Poor, Hungry and Driven.
In the early loyalty program days I made annual use of TWA’s TWE award which provided a round trip in First for 50,000 miles plus an upgrade from coach for a second passenger. Allowed our whole family to fly in front and those kids are now parents who don’t seem spoiled by the experience. Parenthetically, I am taking those kids and their kids to Paris this summer and we’re using my miles for business class for everyone. I think the kids view it as a lucky treat and not as an entitlement
I have never flown 1st class. The only advantage I see is if I could lay down and sleep on a long flight. With my kids being disabled wherever I am that’s where they are. If they could take care of themselves and were older maybe on a shorter flight. I would be checking on them periodically. But on the long flights I would want them to get some sleep too. The adults on Home Alone were in first class and had their kids in coach.
I sat next to a 7 year old and 5 year old in coach while Mom and Dad flew in first class. Once we started taxi-ing they 7 year old started crying. Once the seat belt sign came off, I ran to First Class and told the parents I wasn’t their baby-sitter. The Mom came and sat with the 5 year old and the 7 year old went to sit by Dad. Mom didn’t say a word to me for 5 1/2 hours.
On the way home, I told the story to my seat-mate in the bulkhead (and did so very loudly) because those parents were in 1st class again in the seats in front of me (with the kids in coach again)!!!
A very wise and thoughtful outlook Gary. I can say that personal attention to your children, especially when they are younger, adds a lot to their self esteem. And believe me when I say: they pickup many lessons watching their parents deal with things. You won’t sense it, but they’re watching you eagle eyed, picking up subconscious ways to behave later in life. My best guess is the children of those people in the video will not turn out well. Above all, communication is key, and that means listening as well as talking.
My millionaire sister turned out the best grounded children I’ve ever met, I know it can be done. Good luck!
whether cash or award tickets, the order for comfort is given to my parents first, then my wife, then the kids. no exceptions unless someone has illness.
The worst thing about this man is not making a pretentious video about himself at the expense of his kids and putting it on social media. I’ll let the readers guess why he’s one odd duck.
Where one sits and sleeps on a plane should be dependent on having the disposable income and wealth to fund it and not because of age or having earned it. Good parents take care of their kids, want to spend time with them, and want to give them experiences to share. If a couple can afford tickets for themselves and not for older kids when older kids wouldn’t value the amenities of business class and care as much about the lie flat bed as adults, that’s one thing. If a couple has the money to pay for business class for everyone but doesn’t to teach a lesson, that’s cruel and mean spirited. There are a lot of less well off people who turn out mean and bad. Teaching kids a lesson by depriving them of what you can reasonably provide them is bad parenting. They’ll remember the parent as putting them through discomfortable unnecessarily to prove a point that’s irrelevant. If you are lucky enough to achieve financial success, sharing it your kids is a bare minimum. Unless you are Elon Musk, Henry Ford, or Steve Jobs who all were and are visionaries, financial success is always a matter of luck to so degree and right place and right time. Hard work does not guarantee wealth, only a decent paying job if the jobs are available.
…Um, the truth actually has nothing in common with what the parents said.
The life lesson that the children learned is either zero, or bellow zero, in that their parents obviously tell falsehoods and get away with it on social media and their enablers.
Anyway, I don’t have time to psycho-analyze fellow passengers’ problems. I just want polite, civil interaction and otherwise left alone to enjoy my book, water bottle, and granola bar, all of which I carried on myself.
@Jerry
Amazing! We are doing exactly the same thing, taking our kids and their kids to Paris this summer on our mikes in business. All 7 of us.
Used to fly to Hong Kong all the time and there were always tons of expat families in business with their domestic helper (I’m talking 2x 4 year olds in biz class + their domestic helper also in biz). Think that’s a pretty common expat perk where companies that agree to relocate their employees to HK back in the day give, which is 2x RT in J for the family, and the expat probably makes enough miles to then also fly the helper in J. There are A LOT of kids from expat-rich cities who have no idea what “normal” is.
@c_m thanks for the quote. Very relevant. My kids fly a mix of biz and economy and my middle son especially loves flying and seeing the different liveries. I’ve stoked his love of flying and biz class. But he’s been informed multiple times that this is not how life will be after he’s 16. I won’t be paying for him to fly biz
Among my relatives it has been more common for the whole family to stick in the same cabin. Sometimes the relatives split across cabins, but none of us would keep the kids without at least one adult relative in the same cabin and outsource the time with the kids in the plane to hired employees. As it is parents/relatives already spend too few hours of the awake
time with the young relatives while they are young; and when the children are older, the grown children tend to have their own busy lives and interests that limit the time and travels with the older relatives.
Some of the relatives got so used to premium cabin long-haul flights as young children that as they got older they would sort of wonder why the good times with premium cabin seating became a rarity and sometimes even ask when they can next fly with a flat bed. That then becomes yet another teaching moment.
I don’t have a problem with them putting the kids with a nanny in economy, but without supervision, it would not be okay.
Personally, my policy is everyone in the family flies in the same class. Usually premium economy on domestic and business international. I’ve known people who would fly their kids in international economy for the purported reason of not spoiling them, but I don’t buy it. They spoil them in other ways. My kids have learned that we are usually flying internationally in business on miles for very little money, and if they are smart, they can do the same thing.
My whole family(5 of us-3 daughters) flew to Maui in FC. A couple in row 1 had the nanny watch the 3 kids in the last row of FC.. The parents fell asleep as did the nanny leaving the 3 kids to run all over the plane,lock themselves in the bathroom etc… Horrid behavior for the FA’s to address,,, It was a good lesson to our daughters..5,7 and 9 to see these little tikes and their behavior.
If the children in coach are young (8-10) and there’s an emergency, how will you know if their safety vests and oxygen are on correctly? You might not be able to leave your seat to help. And who comforts them if this happens?