The internet is rife with stories and complaints about people asking to switch seats.
- Sometimes the complaint is that a passenger has the gall to ask – you specifically chose your seat, and even paid extra for it, why should you move?
- And sometimes the complaint is that the selfish person seated next to you wouldn’t move, doing a simple courtesy to let travelers sit next to each other. After all, love matters!
Either way, there’s a simple solution to all of this that’s rarely discussed. Love is worth paying for. Don’t just ask for the seat free. If you aren’t offering a better seat, offer money.
Am I the only one pulling out Venmo and charging for changing seats to willing buyers??
— Sunny Po (@sunny051488) January 7, 2026
You’re going to be tempted to ask for the seat switch free and only offer money once that’s declined. You might save money!
But you have already gotten a no and now it is harder to get to yes. Plus, the person in the seat might feel uncomfortable having g their decision changed by a small amount of cash. So you’d need to offer a ‘wow’ amount.
Offering less up front can mean easier acceptance – they can tell themselves they’re just being helpful while being happy to have gotten the money.
- The seat switch as a Coasian bargain. The person assigned to a seat controls it. A seat switch request is a proposal to reassign that right. There are potential gains from trade! The parties can negotiate a voluntary transfer, often with a side payment, so the seat ends up with whomever values it the most.
- Without money, you’re effectively offering almost nothing, which only generates agreement when the value of the seat choice itself is near zero (or when the passenger whose seat it is derives utility from being helpful). Cash turns an awkward “please do me a favor” into a straightforward market-clearing side payment that can unlock trades that are otherwise blocked.
A cash payment aligns incentives and reveals true valuations. Seat switches are classic gains from trade. Cash makes it easy for the passenger in the seat you want to say yes when their cost is low and no when it’s high. It reduces awkward haggling and begging. Planes are high-friction environments. A clean offer makes the negotiation a single step, lowering both transaction costs and embarrassment.
Hi, would you be willing to swap seats? I can offer you $20 for the inconvenience. Totally fine to say no.
Paying can also make refusal easier because saying “no thanks” is socially cleaner than refusing a favor. Besides, airlines sell seats! Why shouldn’t passengers.
I wonder if the airline would permit the transactions if they were aware of them.
Or… hear me out… say ‘no, thank you’… then, press the call-button, and calmly repeat, as many times as necessary, ‘no, thank you’… until the matter is resolved, respectfully and peacefully, with you remaining in your assigned seat (or, until you’re all removed from the flight, and it is cancelled.)
How about this if you ask only ask a window/window or aisle/aisle. People like me PAY for an upgrade to get the seat I want. If I’m asked to trade a window seat I do, an aisle I don’t. Problem solved. Ultimately, if you want to be next to a person(s) pay for seats together or pay for an upgrade. Understanding that irregular operations sometimes wrecks that situation.
I’ll swap my seat for your equivalent seat in another row. That is it. Otherwise, I’ll go back my headphones on and go back to ignoring you.
No. Just no.
What next? Here’s $20 so I can have overhead while you gate check your bag. Typical American culture to think the solution to a problem is to manipulate people with money.
I’d be more inclined to trade seat without being brides to do so. But, I know, I’m old and I see the world in a different way than most.
@George Romey — This is also why airlines should refund paid-upgrades, if there is IROPS, involuntary changes, etc., yet, some try to keep those fees/points, etc. Enough of that noise. We should get what we pay for, at minimum.
@Parker — “Typical American culture to think the solution to a problem is to manipulate people with money.” Yeah, man, for real, sickening. (Meanwhile, #47 is for all intents and purposes broadly withholding federal money to ‘blue states.’ Feels a bit like taxation without representation…)
@1990 Oh you just aren’t that smart. You do realize an airline just can’t make additional seats appear on a plane. Here’s the deal. You can either take the next flight in coach (I did that last Tuesday) or wait for a flight that has open premium seats. I didn’t want to do that. If the latter because you want to get where you’re going you may not get the seats you want.
It wouldn’t make me more likely to swap, nor feel better about being asked. I’m happy to swap equal for equal. Happy to decline if it isn’t.
I don’t mind being asked, if you don’t want polite interaction with others, fly private.
I appear to be “the odd man out” in this discussion. I often fly with my wife, and generally purchase tickets well in advance — after all, I know the dates of the conference, the wedding, etc. On a narrowbody, it’s rare when I don’t book an A/C or D/F combination. (Those few times when that’s not available, we’ll book the two aisle seats, C/D.)
Obviously we are hoping no one books the middle seat, and quite often no one does. But on those rare occasions (maybe 10-20%) when someone does, I will OFFER them the aisle seat so I can sit next to my wife. I don’t think @Gary has so much influence that everyone will begin to offer $20 for my seat and since I don’t pay extra for the seat(s) we choose in the first place, be they Exit Row or Premium Economy, it’s just not a big deal for me to once-in-a-while sit for 4 hours in a middle seat. (We have an unspoken agreement — on flights of approximately 2-2.5 hours or less, she gives up the window seat; more than 2.5 hours, and I give up the aisle seat. It just isn’t that big a deal…
(Admittedly, I might feel differently if I had to pay for the window/aisle seat…)
I paid extra for an aisle. Got offered a middle so wife could sit with husband. I said no thank you, I paid for this for a reason. It’s what I want. She was pissy. Check in early, pay for your seats, problem solved.
My adult daughter and I sat window/aisle, extra leg room, hoping the middle seat would remain empty IAD to LAX. My son-in-law sat 10 rows back on a different confirmation #. When a man sat between us I mentioned the aisle seat (no extra leg room) and he saw it as a fair trade, no pressure, and graciously switched. Thats a Win-Win as it should always be.
Hey only $20? I believe the going rate is now $30 what with tariffs and all. 😉
Hi @Jason, Maybe it’s just me, but I hate when people pull that crap. It’s obvious what they’re doing, and I prefer to keep the middle seat rather than reward their behavior.
@ThatOtherOtherGuy – me too. I’ll swap to a equivalent seat and have done so twice since my very first flight in 1954. Needless to say that in all that time, I’ve been asked to swap several doesn’t times, but I’ve only swapped twice because the other times I was asked to take a downgrade. I’m just not going to do that.
I always find it interesting that almost every request to swap is so a spouse or parent could sit with their spouse or kid who’s always well behind. Instead of asking the person behind us that’s sitting next to their spouse or child to swap up to where I am, they ask me to go back to sit where their spouse or kid are sitting. Clearly, they don’t just want to sit together. They’re looking to upgrade. If the swap was the other way, most of the time the swap would be successful.
The worst one I ever encountered was a while back when I was flying on AA from PHL to LAX. I was in First Class. A lady sat next to me at the window. I was on the aisle as normal.
No sooner did she settle in, that she said (exact words), “I know you wouldn’t mind changing seats with my husband so we could sit together. Here, I’ll help you carry your belongings to his seat.”
She went to reach for my iPad which was next to me on the seat and I said, “Lady, if you touch that iPad I’ll cut off your hand.”
She was stunned, but continued, “Oh sorry, but he’s just a few rows back.”
I wasn’t going to move, but asked her, “What row?”
Answer, “Oh, 35, right back there.” (35 was the next to last row in the plane. These days, that’s basic economy.)
I said, “No thanks. That’s my wife sitting across the aisle from me. (She really was. We would normally sit side by side in FC, but were late buying the tix and across the aisle was okay, no biggie.) Why not swap back next to your husband. I’ll bet the person there would be happy to move to First.”
She said, “Oh, I couldn’t do that, my back you know.”
I said, “Sorry,” then put my headset.
She said, “Well . . . I never!
Do you believe that? Hand to you know who, that’s exactly how it happened. Some people have gall. She sat angry next to me for 5.5 hours. She was curt and rude to the flight attendants who did nothing to her and weren’t involved in our little talk. She refused her lunch, which wasn’t bad. She was determined to stew. When we got to the gate and I got my wife’s bag out of the overhead bin, she pushed me aside to get out before we did. As we walked toward baggage claim we saw her rush into the women’s lavatory. I assumed her husband knew where she would be as we never saw him during the flight or on deplaning, and we didn’t see them at baggage claim. She had just a small personal item at the seat.
@Patrick — Zing! Got’em!
Sorry, but I pat to sit in an aisle seat. It would take me more than $20 to sit in a non-aisle. If you want to sit next to your companion, book them together. I realize there are last minute trips, but in that case, is it so bad to sit apart?
My family isn’t elite I pay sometimes 83 dollars for their seat assignment
why would we take or want a 20?unless its a similar seat
In Europe a woman who wanted to sit next to her daughter kept asking a few rows around us
and then finally screaming at us hurling profanity.You Fu##### wealthy business travelers who buy your seats so we are forced to take the crumbs that are left
How would you like to separate from your loved ones while flying?
Finally some guy switched with her ( a Karen) just to shut her up and de escalate
Drama!
If the recommendation for a seat swap is $20 US, should passengers receive $30 Canadian?
People are cheap. Won’t happen.
I already paid for the seat – probably north of $50, so no. Also, I’m sick to death of everything being monetized. Sit down, shut up. Or book another flight. Your failure to plan does not constitute obligation on my part. Even if I end up in a $hitty seat, I don’t ask to switch. I’m not that disabled nor traveling with a baby/toddler.
@Ken A
…. and another burning question … If the flight is departing the United States or its territories, is a tip also expected to be added to the base rate (bribe) ? ( a friend’s ‘inquiring mind’ is curious … )
@ LS
” Sit down, shut up. ” …. Those are becoming the best four words I can hear these days when flying !
$20? No f’n way. Seat assignment fees are easily $50 on the low end, so that is the floor. If I’m asked I’ll point out that I paid extra to sit here (even if I didn’t), and offer it for $100 since they are more desperate for the trade than I am. Of course they never accept, they quickly move on to ask the next sucker, also an acceptable outcome.
No. Just no. Commodotizing seats just worsens the problem. I’ve cheerfully switched seats for free before and likewise had people offer to do the same for me. Making it about money just changes to wrong mindset unless it truly is a desperate situation.
A Finance bro once offered me $500 to vacate my seat at a blackjack table at the Hyatt Incline Village. It was tempting to decline just to spite him but I knew I would not enjoy playing with his douchy buddies so I took the deal.
No way I would sell my E+ aisle seat for $20. Now for $500…
@OscarM –> There’s one in every crowd…too bad. Not sorry.
While status means I don’t have fork out big bucks for seat selection, and indeed, can fly in PE for the price of Econ (and don’t pay any checked luggage, either), I have still in a sense “paid” for my seats through the cost of the ticket/points I’ve earned. If you intentionally choose the middle seat just to **** with the couple who were hoping that a middle seat would stay empty, shame on you. If it’s a full flight and by the time you decided to look at the seating chart and pick your seat (or are you that cheap and fly Basic?), and the only open seats are middle seats…hey, if you prefer to stay in the middle, more power to you. It’s not like we were planning on joining the Mile High club and you ruined our chance. My wife will either sleep or watch a movie; I’ll read a book or do some writing. It’s not really going to bother us…
Two things: I don’t make deals that aren’t mutually beneficial (and if not better for the other person). Just a mindset.
Choosing to gamble instead means you better be offering that person decent “compensation” if you’re going bribe them.
Whatever the outcome is, you accept it. You don’t get to make snide comments and guilt the other person for not taking your inferior deal. They said no.
Hi @Jason, It kinda sounds like it bothers you. And if you’re such a big spender, they why aren’t you flying in FC, BC, or PE? That would completely eliminate your need to be a douche.
@Boraxo — You won.
Years ago, I was on a DL TATL A330 in Y. While I’m normally an aisle guy, I selected an A bulkhead seat. Guy sits in B and keeps looking back 5 rows at a woman in one of the two middle seats D or F. I “knew” what would happen; he surely would ask me to switch. I was working out how to nicely say no, when he got up, went back 5 rows. A few minutes later a very happy new guy sits in B. He had the D/F seat the wife didn’t have. So, the couple are together in D and F. My new seatmate acted like he won the lottery. Good on the couple for not trying to get A and B.
I did once over to switch for a downgrade. I was in C in Y on TWA. There were two empty seats on the plane B in my row and the one behind me. GA pops in, and the goal was obvious. She confirmed the two seats, and a few moments later a couple boards. He was elderly and thin. She would have trouble fitting between the armrests. As they walked down the aisle, I decided to take one for the team. I stood up and asked if they’d like my C and the empty B. I moved to B in the row behind. A in my old row and A and C in my new row here quite pleased. 50/50 chance the lady would have taken B in their row. She sat in C, and the hubby took B (the right think to do). I’m fit easily between armrests.
BTW Gary, I’ve heard from a participant at the workshop where Coase suggested his eponymous theorem. As you know, the standard assumption is zero transaction costs. The report I heard had Coase come up with the basics at the seminar, so he could point out we rarely have zero transaction costs.