A United Airlines flight attendant parent-shamed business class passengers on a delayed Delhi – Newark flight, after their special needs three year old woke up nine hours into the journey. The crewmember chastised the passengers for their lack of parenting when the boy was hungry (United didn’t board his child meal) and the mother had to improvise for food and tend to the kid at the same time.
Getting on to the flight, we started a 16 hour journey with a 3 year old child who has special needs. This fact was already conveyed to United customer service over 4 weeks ago by me. My son slept almost 9 hours after takeoff and finally woke up hungry.
— Uttiya Basu (@uttiyab) August 4, 2023
The child was crying until his mother got him calm enough to eat. Then, happy, he played with toys but “let out a few small squeals and laughs” at finding shows he likes on the plane’s inflight entertainment system. That’s when a flight attendant came out and stared “rudely rebuking” the mom.
The flight attendant says she’s a mother and she “know[s] how to be a mother” and that this passenger is failing at it.
FA – "I have two children and I know how to be a mother to them. You need to do SOMETHING".
My wife – "we are playing with him and keeping him engaged".
FA – "No YOU ARE NOT!! You are just SITTING there."
She turns to me and says – "You can walk him around. That helped!"— Uttiya Basu (@uttiyab) August 4, 2023
The boy’s father says they were “forced to our ler son walk in the aisles” which was apparently more disturbing (and excited the child more) than keeping him in his seat.
Interestingly, the child’s father notes that “[t]here was actually constant kids crying from coach” though the parents were in business class. Are crying children keeping more passengers awake in the back of the plane different – and ok – but not in business class?
The passengers complained about their experience and United offered $100 travel vouchers against their “$23K” tickets. What they wanted was an apology, not a “voucher and a form letter.”
I don’t envy the task of asking parents to calm their children on a long haul flight. It’s easy to cross into condescension and into scolding. Here, from the perspective of the parents, that’s clearly what happened – and should be both a learning and a teaching moment that the airline uses (but is not likely to).
United is a joke!
The few times in flew with them, nothing but issues.
I tried to give them the benefit of the doubt, and they successfully failed each time.
Someone needs to fact check him. As others mentioned, check out his Twitter. It’s constant complaining.
There are 3 sides to every story, not 2
I didn’t need to evaluate his look-at-me-daddy twitter or verify ticket prices on United’s website
His name and disclosure of paying $23,000 for anything as perishable as an airline flight tells me some this is wrong with him & his story.
And I have special needs children as well
Typical Indian lying their asses off to take advantage this absolutely did not happen I was on that flight and they were offered an aisle chair. They wanted their own in the plane to not have to wait for it. And it does not fit on the plane
Having worked the India flights. There is much, much more to this story. Not buying it.
From many of the comments that appear above, There appears to be a general bias against people (both Adults and Children) from India about complaints, indiscipline, I have come across children of all color, race and countries behaving in the same manner. The proportion of Indian families traveling in business class seems to be slightly more compare to others. This extends to the number of children of Indian origin to be more. So passengers conclude that Indian children are unruly. The airlines need to train FAs to be able to handle such situations. It is unfortunate and unfair to blame Indians. Seems to be a clear display of color bias against India. It may help if US based airlines reduce their service to and from India. Indians on the other hand should travel by non- US airlines. Airlines from EU, Middle east, South Asia including Air India are more professional, tolerant and better service providers.
This reminds me of an old joke:
Mr. Basu is riding in a crowded public bus. Suddenly he turns around to the man behind him and yells:
” How dare you push me? How dare you push me?”
The man behind me goes: ” I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to!”
Mr.Basu continues his tirade: ” what if I had fallen!?! What if I had fallen!?!”
Man: ” I’m so sorry!”
Mr. Basu: ” what if I had hit my head??! What if I had hit my head??!!”
Man: ” I’m really so sorry!”
Mr. Basu: ” what if I had died?!?! What if I had died?!?!”
Man: ” but sir, I didn’t even push you!”
Mr. Basu: ” but what if you had pushed me!?!”
My 2 boys were almost never a problem in public. People would come to my table at restaurants telling me how exceptional they were. On trips I loaded up on kid snacks, coloring books, regular books, small toys, etc. Today you have electronic devices. I think the parents did not prepare very well.
They needed to see that mom and dad were at least trying. I’m not hearing that they did anything. Other people paid $23,000 , too. Imagine their experience.
Pick another way to travel where the child has a room on a cruise, or by car.
Honestly, we in coach would’ve helped you.
I sympathize with the parents and the other passengers who also paid large ticket price to be there. It’s a long hauler, and many, including some people with medical conditions, may have needed to rest up. Absolutely there’s no way to cast a definitive opinion on this case. I would just say that either parties demanding the absolute position will create a problem that may not so easily solvable.
“A few squeals and laughs…” says the parent trying to downplay the noise. Translation: Horrific Piercing Shrieking and Screaming to everyone else who doesn’t think the “few squeals and laughs” are just the most precious and adorable thing ever. No not everyone wants to hear that. Regardless, I’m sure it was an unpleasant situation for likely everyone who had to endure the stream of screaming and noise and perhaps the parents as well. He states how he paid such a high price, but doesn’t realize that others pay as well? Are they not entitled to a peaceful journey? What if the roles were turned and he was traveling alone and there was a special needs adult who kept doing the same thing? Would he feel the same way? Would he feel it acceptable to have an adult with special needs scream, squeal, grunt, and make noise the entire flight?
I personally don’t think the flight attendant was out of line asking them to pay attention to the child and try to calm it down. Many parents these days just a take an approach of ignoring them. They’ll just “drown the noise out…”. It’s quite inconsiderate to everyone around them. The fact that they were called out about it is just flat out good. I think it’s about time flight crew feel empowered enough to call out these parents who just let their kids scream, squeal, and make constant noise while they just ignore them. Good for the inflight crew to call them out.
Air India used to be one of the airlines that was sort of notorious for treating Indian families/children on the long-haul flights worse than European and European-Americans on the trips; and it wasn’t just the in-air treatment that was different, as it would also happen on the ground at check-in. That was a part of why many Indian families migrated to flying US and European carriers on trips between India and the US but then sometimes would find out there was also some of the same kind of bias in play too.
Given India and China seem to be on a course to regain their relative economic strength on the global stage that was had by them before the age of European colonization hit them, expect more complaints about “the other”/“them” to be a sign of the times of changing dynamics and people uneasy with such change.
I M sympathies. we flewwith an infant and two other children,
one a toddler of two and a half . The children
meals had been loaded the meal served was not
appropriate for them. The baby bassinet was also not
available. We got no help but much criticism when the children cried OR were playing. No apology was forthcoming and it goes without saying no offer of compensation.
Corrections please: the children meals had NOT been loaded.
The flight attendant can’t do shit. Just ignore the. And go back to taking care of your child.
Could be worse, kid could have had a guitar…
I will never take United Airlines even if Uber is the only alternative.
Based on her history and this she sounds like a 100% Karen. When she wines so much because it is every one else fault the you know that silver spoon is so far stuck up her that anything she says I will not believe. Cry wolf
There are 3 sides to every story, not 2
I didn’t need to evaluate his look-at-me-daddy twitter or verify ticket prices on United’s website
His name and disclosure of paying $23,000 for anything as perishable as an airline flight tells me some this is wrong with him & his story.
And I have special needs children as well
It is difficult enough to travel with children. The job of the flight attendant is to try to HELP the passengers, not degrade them. The flight attendant should have asked the parents what they could do to help (i.e, search for snacks), as the parents know their child best. I am appalled that a United (the absolute best, in my opinion) employee would be so uncaring.
A special needs child. On a long flight. I wonder whether either parent consulted the child’s physician about a sedative or other med to ease the child’s experience on board the airplane. Alerting United to the fact that they would be traveling with a special needs child doesn’t absolve the parents of their responsibility for the care of their child. The information we’re given indicates that the parents did not do as much as they could to ease the child’s problems.
The FA may well have failed Courtesy 101, but the duo with the “special needs” child weren’t the only passengers in business class.
If I were giving low marks for poor coping ability, I’d award the lowest marks to the child’s mother. She evidently failed to get from the child’s physician a med to ease the child’s trip, and she failed to prepare a snack for the child. She’s the child’s primary caregiver. She’s responsible for seeing that the child’s needs are met. United’s FA might have done a better job, but the airline’s business is flying passengers and cargo, not baby sitting children with special needs.
So a special needs child is chastised for sleeping most of the flight, while other children are being noisy. And when he his awake and squawks once or twice is treated poorly by airline employees. This is outrageous.
My name is not important, but I will say this, I am a diabectic who had to get on an early flight for work. I was flying united and explained to the female flight attendant that I had not had anything to eat. I was a diabectic and my sugar was low. I ask her for some crackers or whatever she could give me and some juice. She gave me a snotty look and told me “they” did not do those kinds of things! I almost passed out from my blood sugar level and her rudeness both! I said I normally fly Delta and they would have accommodated me. She said again in a snotty voice, we are not Delta! I said obviously and kept my mouth shut the rest of the flight. I have never been treated so poorly on and airline! I will never fly United again!!! I will add that I was given the flight ticket by my job, had slept in a hotel the night before my flight and was not able to get anything from the hotel or when I got to the airport because there was not time. The shuttle dropped me off late so I had to go directly to the gate… What happened to people being caring and decent!?
There are always at least two sides to every story. I suspect the child was making more noise than Mr. I Paid $23k For My Ticket claims. Sounds like six of one and half a dozen of the other.
I remember a time when flight attendants would stop and help care for a child …. Oh wait… that was a time when compassion was taught . United has become a crap basket . Oh … and other passengers would also help . This sad folks … very very sad .
I have no children by choice. But even I know that you don’t go anywhere with a child without FOOD for any child, regardless of their specialness. What a bunch of BS.
Can’t fault the mother. Airlines forgot the meals. Remember the airline screwed up.
If your kid can’t/isn’t old enough to keep quiet on a plane, then they shouldn’t be on a plane. I certainly would be pissed to be awoken in the middle in the middle of the night after paying money for business class! The kid isn’t doing business…should not be allowed in business class at all!
That Twitter account is filled to the brim of nothing but complaints. This person is either A) the most unlucky person ever when meeting anyone in any service position or
B) not telling the truth and is likely the problem. Occams Razor tells me it’s the latter.
It’s never ok to have loud children on an airplane in either cabin. Parents who bring small children onto a plane are selfish – what they are doing is both bad for their child and bad for everyone around them. If you have a child, plan for road-trips only (or flying private) for the first few years if you aren’t a completely inconsiderate person.
I’m so sick of entitled parents and their “special needs’ children. Just an excuse for poor behavior and bad parenting.
Maybe these parents could have had their “untouchable caste” servant handle the misbehaving child.
@ Paran
Air India is a good choice for parents as the flight is often full of loud children. Certain Indians of business acumen (you know who I mean) do complain and seek advantage. It’s cultural (see Lucian Pye) so you deal with it. Just like dealing with the American who lands, demands his contract be signed, and expects to be out the next day.
Carrying meals for kids or special kids is part of parental responsibility. There can be one off failure of FA, but a 15 hour flight stresses everyone out. Business Class passengers do demand better service especially if they are paying 6 times the economy fare, hence the blame is on all sides. There is a certain level of expectation but a flight attendant is not a personal nanny. I have flown United for last 15 years and I am overall happy with their service, considering I have taken business class tickets on Air India, Lufthansa & United on this very sector. I think United serves its passengers well! Long distance travels are stressful on every one!
This being ViewFromTheWing, I don’t think the FA was wrong to request the parents keep their kid quiet. This being VFTW, I don’t think the airline gets off scott free on not providing the child his mother’s requested meal.
Special kids need special help, but that’s not on either the airline nor everyone else in F/J/W either. It is 100% the parents’ job, and they failed to plan ahead by bringing food, entertainment, and ensuring the other passengers could enjoy their $23,000 ticket (lol) as well. That applies whether the kid is special needs, on the spectrum, wheelchair bound, or not.
Was the ticket $23K? No. But even if it had been, the family inconvenienced everyone else in that same section paying their $23K (lol).
Were kids crying and screaming in Y/E? Don’t know don’t care, that’s “what aboutism” and in no way changes what this family did or did not do.
Was the airline at fault – for not having the kid’s food boarded yes. For everything else no. That’s my view from the comfort of a business-class TA seat. Those sitting out on the wing can opine as to their View from that Wing.
Yeah, I call BS. I’ve been around “special needs” children and toddlers on flights. IME, if their caregiver makes any effort at calming them or paying attention to them, things go OK. Otherwise, it’s definitely NOT “A few squeals and laughs”. It’s a lot woese than that.
The other passengers paid to be there too. Parents OWE other passengers their best effort to control their children. These parents failed.
I fly LHR-BOM regularly in F and J (just landed in BOM today ironically) and have notice some of the wealthy parents on this sector don’t quite know how to manage their own kids. I couldn’t put my finger on it at first but after spending a lot of time in India, I think it could be down to the fact that many will have round the clock childcare. In UK a full time, live in nanny is only for the realm of wealthy families where as in India, my colleagues all have excellent childcare. If they don’t, many have their parents live with them helping with day to day. They are amazed at how little child support we have! Imagine if you are used to round the clock childcare, and then go on a long flight without the help, I’m sure it takes a lot of parents by suprise just how stressful it can be. Had a long flight back from India via Dubai with a cute but spoilt 2/3 year old and the mother just plopped him in his business class seat and mentally checked out to enjoy the service – half expecting the crew to look after him (other thing with India, service is next level – best in the world so cabin crew can be often mistaken as servants). Crew were not impressed nor were the other passengers! Never seen anything like it! Turns out when we landed they had their nanny sitting back in economy!
I wish the Emirates FAs had done this on my last Business class flight 17 hours Auckland to Dubai with a screaming baby. What’s the point of paying for a bed if you are unable to use it. Keep young children out of premium cabins
Stop traveling with small children! Just stop!
There is no way I would take my special needs child on a 16 hour flight. Yes itvwas great the child slept 9 hours. (My special needs child sleeps 3 to 4 hours a night)
However there is nothing you can do on a 16 hour flight to keep a special needs child satisfied or fascinated. That goes for any child really.
Why would the Mom not have several selections of snacks and food with her also? I mean is the child even going to eat an airplane meal?
I’m sure this was a bad situation for all parties. Each attendant should have special training to deal with special needs children.
If the company does not want to deal with complaints they need to specify that special needs children are not allowed on long flights unless parents can keep them occupied.
I was curious enough to check the father’s twitter feed after seeing 3 separate posters complaining about his “constant”, “filled to the brim”, “complaining” on twitter and demanding that he be “fact-checked.”
It’s the posters here who need to be fact-checked. There is exactly one other post to his twitter account in the past year (about his 74-year old mother being obligated to travel in oppressive heat to the Kolkatta police station to re-show original docs just to renew her passport).
The last time he posted a complaint about a personal experience was Jul 20 2021. Before that Feb 24 2019. That’s constant complaining??? Who leads such a charmed life that they have no legitimate complaints for 2+ years? Do some posters here really have nothing better to do than to invoke dubious pretenses to mock and disparage a stranger who had a bad experience?
Petty!!! The child was special needs, HAVE A HEART
I’ll take “Things That Never Happened” for 400 please!
It was not the FA responsibility to baby sit the child. Was it the airlines fault for not having the child’s meal? Yes. But what responsible parent takes their child somewhere for over 16 hours and does not pack snacks? It was nice that the child slept for 9 hours however, others passengers who also paid a pretty penny for their tickets deserve to have a peaceful and comfortable flight and should not have to be exposed to a child’s screams. You always rather hear laughter than to screams but should not have to be awakened to them in the middle of your flight. Parents should consider all other travel options before flying with young children. If they have no other option at least be prepared. Bring your child’s favorite foods, snacks, toy, and entertainment.
I would have kicked the kid in the face. Glad these people got ripped off. A toddler in business class? No way . I would have walked off before the door closed and booked another flight.
How dare the flight attendant this airline needs training in special needs this is discrimination at its finest I work with special needs and I am disgusted, mad, furious and deeply saddened for the child to be treated with discrimination at the age of 3 no compassion only ignorance
Two parents who can’t and won’t control their child. Typical.
I used to work in a waxing salon and would observe how Indian and non-Indian clients handled their children. The Indian mothers would come in with their children, which we highly discouraged. While I was working on the client they would allow their children to wander around my wax room, grab scissors and tweezers (which are expensive and sharp), and even try to touch the hot wax pot. Especially with the boys, they never want to tell them no. I would wait for the mother to react or do something and they would do nothing. When the child almost touched the hot wax pot I said, “No, please don’t touch that. It’s hot.” The mother got up when I was done working on her, and went to my boss and said that I was being rude to her two year old. She literally wanted him to fire me, because I prevented her child from being injured. He wrote me up just to please her.
Non-Indian mothers either would have their babies in a stroller, hold them, or not bring them.
I am not buying into this story. The flight attendant should tell her side. These parents need to take responsibility of their child along with their poor parenting skills, and stop trying to get this flight attendant reprimanded. Will firing her REALLY solve your poor parenting issues? Probably not.
That’s why, I ALWAYS travel with headphones #1 it keeps people from talking to me #2 it keeps me from hearing unnerving sounds.
I protect my own peace. I try to not complain, if I can help myself I prepare in advance. I hope they can travel easier in the future. And he could’ve had a private plane for that amount of money, good grief.
People People some of you complaining about baby crying in plane ,you all should be a shame, if the baby want to cry let him cry. That’s a baby, we all was baby once in our lifetime..what you all should be doing is asking God for journeying mercy to keep you all safe on that plane and bring you all safe and sound home.. stop it .life is short, it’s not about who in first class or who in other sections..when you are traveling stop complaining and instead THANKING GOD THE GIVER OF LIFE..
What about everyone else in business case that paid a full fair ticket? You have a special needs child, that is your problem, not everyone else’s. Don’t make your problems my problems. Children shouldn’t be allowed in business case anyways.
I just flew United and they had the best airline customer service I’ve had in a long time. Judging from all his complaints, it’s hard to fully believe “his side” of this story. Sounds like he’s hard to please no matter how much people try to help him. Flying with children on a 2 hr flight requires a bag full of snacks and toys to keep them occupied so I would think a 16 hr flight would require a lot more planning by the parents. FA’s have taken many children for walks on flights when they’re fussy and it usually works, so instead of bashing her for trying to help, appreciate the fact that she was trying to take some stress off of you while also trying to make the other PAYING customers happy. They’re not the only one paying that much for their tickets so people shouldn’t have to deal with your child for half their flight. Not everyone can handle a crying or irritated child for a long period of time.
This is unacceptable for an airline to treat a family with a special needs child. They’re innocent children that were born this way. What happened to compassion in this world. I’m surprised they didn’t kick these people off the flight. Might as well. If I had a special needs child and was treated this way, no telling what I would have done to this flight attendant or any other passenger that was looking or saying anything to me. People think these flights are just for them only and no one else. I would dare anybody to say anything to me, I would be in jail. Next time you wanna complain, put your sorry ass in their position.