We Don’t Want The Middle Seat Either’: Couple’s Refusal To Swap Leaves Stranger Awkwardly Stuck Between Them

People traveling together as a couple frequently book an aisle seat and a window seat. They’re hoping that the middle seat stays open and they’ll get extra space on their flight.

This doesn’t always work out. Planes are full and there’s a good chance someone will be in that seat. “That’s ok,” you think, “we can always trade them the window seat and still sit together.”

  • Best case scenario, extra space with an empty middle seat
  • Worst case scenario, you’re still next to each other
  • So it’s better to give yourself a shot at best case rather than book worst case from the outset.

Only sometimes the middle seat passenger won’t move. And sometimes… well, here’s a woman who wound up stuck with her American Airlines middle seat, seated between a couple in the window and aisle. It turns out that they wouldn’t move to sit beside each other. Even though they were traveling together, it’s not like either of them wanted the middle seat. They didn’t want to sit next to each other that badly which is why they didn’t assign themselves seats together in the first place!

@sydmiller_ i kinda get it and respect putting themselves first what but what do you guys think lol #traveltiktok #relationshipgoals ♬ maps – user37435874668

She was flying New York – Miami and in-between a “young couple in their thirties.”

When I sat down, they asked if I would be interested in switching to the window seat, which I didn’t want. I usually prefer the aisle so I can get in and out to the bathroom easily.

I declined, but said I would take the aisle if they wanted to be together. And they declined that and said they would stay in their current seats, which I thought was interesting,

Sometimes the middle seat passenger is the one who’s just out of luck. Even worse is if the couple talks to each other throughout the flight, leaning over the stranger between them. I guess if they don’t want to sit together then hopefully they don’t really want to talk to each other either?

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community InsideFlyer.com, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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Comments

  1. Sorry, not sorry. My partner and I ALWAYS book window & aisle. I like the view and he likes the aisle to get up to the restroom. Sometimes a pax gets stuck in between. We booked ahead, not switching. Not like we will get lonely being separated by one seat.

  2. The couple was perfectly fine with sitting middle and aisle. The middle seater would only consider upgrading to an aisle seat. She preferred middle to window. Maybe she thought she was in charge of any swapping. It turns out she was not. I would take an offer of a window seat in that case because I don’t have to run to the toilet on a short flight and because my highest preference is a window seat.

  3. Why is it his crap only happens in USA ? I don’t travel in economy but if I were the person stuck between two A holes I’d be up and down to the toilet every 5 mins citing loose bowels.

  4. I don’t understand the angst here? Sounds like everyone was happy and polite?

    If I’m the middle person, I’d be fine sitting between a couple (and it sounds like she was – in her post she says she “respects that”), AS LONG as they aren’t talking to each other the whole flight and/or passing things back and forth across you.

    It sounds like here the couple just preferred their seats and just sat in them. So how is that any different than sitting between 2 people that don’t know each other?

  5. We sit in aisle seats across from each other. Once in awhile we hold hands when no one is in the aisle

  6. This can happen, but it’s rare. I need the aisle seat, so I would not put the middle passenger there. The only option is for them to take the window or stay in their middle. Almost nobody wants a middle in between a couple over a window. Almost. In fact, I would even guess somebody who insists on it is hoping the couple will give the aisle rather than the window. Not happening in my case. Accepting the window is so nearly universal that we often just get up to allow them to take it, but we once had a woman very offended by that.

    The airlines should make the middle just a touch wider, and the aisle and window a touch narrower, to make the middle more palatable, effectively making them roughly equal. Though in that case some might seek it out. (Though even though it’s wider, you still don’t have full ownership of either armrest.)

  7. @Dan @ Points with a Crew, Was it ever necessary for there to be actual substance involved when a TikTok personality seeks to go viral to publicize her exercise method? It was once true that Newsweek was a serious journalistic enterprise, but don’t click on the link unless you want to see for yourself how far they’ve fallen.

  8. I’m with Dan. I don’t see why this is even newsworthy as I’m sure it happens every day on every flight. In fact this is something we used to do on every family trip as my kids prefer the window seats and the adults prefer the aisles. So we never ask the middle seat stranger to switch.

    On the flip side in the rare case that I am stuck in a a middle seat (due to a late booking or more likely flying standby) I will never switch to a window as i like to get up during the flight and it’s much less hassle to ask one stranger to move, rather than two.

    If couples think they are being clever with this travel “hack” then by all means go for it but don’t complaint about the results. And similarly if you don’t like middle seats then fly southwest (at least through April) and pay for EBCI or book your flights in advance and pay the seat fee.

  9. If I was stuck in a middle seat and the couple on each side began talking to each other I’d insert myself into the conversation – not sit there like a manikin. In this case everyone was happy with their seats and content to pass their time with their own thoughts so the article is pointless.

  10. I find it very strange but in the end if two people really need to sit next to each other they need to pay for and book seats next to each other. Empty middle seats are rare. Counting on an empty seat is like being in the airline’s lower elite tiers and counting on an upgrade. It might happen but not something you’d get your hopes up.

  11. Now we start making a problem out of people who booked a seat and want to stay in their seat.

    And somehow the person in teh middle wasn’t happy with a window (when it was offered) but insisted on teh isle and was turned down.

    You have the midle – was offered the window and declined. Now the OP is just being entitled.

  12. @bzv +1
    Spouse prefers window, I prefer aisle, neither wants middle. And if someone ends up in our middle seat, we consciously try not to bother them with conversation, etc. We’ve been together 18 years, so we can chat after we deplane!

  13. I had the experience. Bad weather ahead made three guys move up departure by one day. No longer had seats we wanted and paid extra for. Got middle seat and found our after take off that I was between a couple. No, they didn’t want to switch, but the wife (on the aisle) and the husband kept passing food over me. It really was extremely rude. Worst part is that at the end of the flight, I recognized him as a local physician.

  14. I agree with both Dan and R.R. My wife prefers a window seat and I like the aisle. We book these seats whenever we are in economy. We try not to bother the person in the middle and on most flights they don’t even realize we’re together until arrival at the gate. Just two people, could be anybody, strangers or together… What’s the difference?

  15. I had that happen on a Southwest flight once..and the couple continued to talk over me and when they decided to eat there food they brought onboard. they began passing food in front
    of me. I had, had enough by that time and asked them to switch seats if this was going to
    continue as its unacceptable .. and they still did not switch seats but stopped passing food..
    come on people,

  16. Took an Alaskan Air Flight a couple of years ago and had an aisle seat on the right hand side.To my right in the middle seat was the father of three young children seated across the aisle but the same row. The window seat that was to the right of the parent next to me was open. The father performed his parental duties throughout the flight scolding his children when they got too rambunctious or loud. I offered to give him my aisle seat so he could be adjacent to them but he declined my offer. Weird unless someone can give me an explanation.

  17. This issue is silly. If people book aisle and window. – it’s their choose – period.

    Book earlier or change flight (esp options nyc to Florida) and you don’t get stuck with the middle seat.

  18. @bvz
    My partner an I do that all the time and again today, DL from SAT to JFK. The guy in the middle offered, but we declined a seat change.

  19. talking to each other the whole flight and/or passing things back and forth across me. Yes. This happened to me on Transatlantic legacy airline flight. It was a front row of economy by the emergency exit, so lots of leg room. I hated it. I swore that I would do everything to avoid such situation, again. Also, I never understood why couples have to be together, given open marriages and 90% divorce rate.

  20. We do this all the time, I’m firmly window (and that means shade up, I’m looking out). My partner is firmly aisle. But we’ve been together 18 years and we’ll have the whole rest of the trip other than flying to talk, so we’re not going to chat over the middle person. Esp. now with free in-air messaging, if we really need to be in touch, we do that!

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