The Top Ten Theories About What Caused the East Coast Power Blackout. Among them:

9. Overstressed computers in West Coast attempting to tabulate all the candidates for California Governor.



8. Osama bin Laden and his compatriots check into a motel in New Jersey and turn up the air conditioning *really* high.



7. All innocent persons on death row in Texas prison system electrocuted at once.



6. Justice Antonin Scalia seeks return to original conditions when Constitution was written.



4. Liberal paranoia comes true as country is returned to Dark Ages.



2. President Bush attempts to divert electricity from middle class to the wealthiest 1 percent.

Update: The Associated Press has a story with the top ten tips from Iraqis for surviving a blackout. For example,

–3: CALL IN THE IRAQIS. Some suggested the Americans ask the Iraqis how to get the power going again. “Let them take experts from Iraq,” said Alaa Hussein, 32, waiting in a long line for gas because there was no electricity for the pumps. “Our experts have a lot of experience in these matters.”



–2: USE FOUL LANGUAGE. “When the power goes out, I curse everybody,” said Emad Helawi, a 63-year-old accountant. “I curse God. I curse Saddam Hussein. And I curse the Americans.”



–And the No. 1 suggestion among Iraqis for Americans suffering without power: TAKE TO THE STREETS. Some said demonstrations can be effective in persuading authorities to turn on the switch. “We held protests. After that we had fewer blackouts,” Ahmed Abdul Hussein said without even a hint of sarcasm. “I’d suggest Americans go out and demonstrate.”