When do you leave the airport lounge to head to your gate? One couple was overhead in the arguing over whether it was time to leave. The husband was anxious for awhile, and when it was finally 30 minutes prior to boarding he’d had enough.
He was leaving, whether his wife came along or not. She thought that was crazy talk! But her track record wasn’t great. She stayed too long last time – and missed the flight.
About 30 minutes before boarding he finally stood up and said “I’m going to the gate”
She replied “we still have a half hour”
Him “we don’t even know where the gate is”
Her “they are in numerical order and my phone says it’s a 5 minute walk. We will find it”
Him “I’m going and if boarding starts I am getting on the plane”
Her “fine. I will be there in plenty of time”
Him “ I am not asking them to hold to the plane if you aren’t there”
Her “you are overreacting. We have plenty of time. I will be on the plane”
Him. “You weren’t last time”
And he walked off.
Most passengers head right to their gate once they clear security. Maybe they need food, but they’ll check in on their gate first. They need to see that it exists. And they’ll get food near their gate – they don’t want to stray too far – even if they have 90 minutes until departure.
That’s why some airport concessionaires will deliver food to passengers at their gate. It’s not a convenience. It’s because they know so many passengers are anchored to their gate. They won’t stray from the gate and spend money, so the spending opportunity needs to come to them.
I’m the opposite. I know how long it takes to get where I’m going in most airports, even in a worst case. I’ve been at DFW a couple of times recently where the train between terminals stopped running, at least in one direction. I know the walk time, and I know how long the train takes if I have to go in the opposite direction.
So, sure, I’ll work off of a worst-case scenario but I also know the only reason to be at the gate for the start of boarding is overhead bin space. I love traveling with just my laptop bag on a day trip or an overnight (and might even stretch it on a two-day trip, especially if I’m connecting, I hate the bin space fight that much).
I want to stay in the lounge and work as long as possible. I hate that American Airlines has become more like other major carriers and started boarding most domestic flights 40 minutes prior to departure, instead of 35. But I don’t feel the need to show up at the gate 40 minutes to departure, except if I need to battle for bin space.
So when do you leave the lounge? The whole point of a lounge is not to have to wait at the gate. I think you leave the lounge as late as possible to meet your objectives.
- That may be the bin space battle, so to arrive at the gate for the start of boarding.
- Or it may be just to not miss the flight, so ensuring you’re there before your seat is released (in most cases, 15 minutes prior to departure).
- At Southwest, until assigned seats are in effect, you probably want to be there 30 minutes prior depending on boarding group.
So in this case the two people arguing were probably both wrong. He was probably leaving too early – half an hour to boarding, unless they needed to change terminals and clear security to get from lounge to gate! She was probably leaving too late – her judgment missed the last flight!
But unless this flight was life or death, you know what? Make the travel part of the trip. Enjoy it together, whether you make the flight or not.
One of my favorite travel memories was getting trapped in Dallas during an ice storm a decade ago. My wife and I spent two nights at DFW-area hotels, first trying to get to our destination and then just calling it a trip in vain and getting home. We took advantage of all the airport had to offer. We ate, we drank, we laughed and we worked as we passed the time and kept getting rebooked and cancelled. It was as much fun being together in the airport as we’d have had anywhere else. So enjoy the moment, and the process of getting there!
If it’s on Reddit, it must be true!
As the top comment there said, “…oooooh, snap…”
I get to the gate about 10-15 minutes before boarding because if there’s a problem I want to know it right away. When I hear boarding is being held as Maintenance needs to go onboard I need to start looking for alternatives if eventually needed. There’s going to be other people competing for that possible empty premium seat(s) on alternative flights and I sure the hell plan to be the person to get it. No going from 2A to 33B for me. Besides I like to stretch my legs a bit by standing for awhile.
I’m the one who likes to be in the lounge as long as possible, while my lady friend is indifferent. Checked in at Terminal A at EWR and went to the Sky Club. Our flight to SD was on Alaska in Terminal B. They wouldnd’t let us on the United shuttle to Terminal B because we wern’t flying a United partner, but now I know better for next time. Took the bus to Terminal C and an Airtrain back to Terminal B. As we got past TSAPre, I heard our names being called. Rushed to the gate and a guy in a Hawaiian shirt asked, “Are you Ron and Lxxxxxxx? What a nice welcome as we were the last to board! That probably wouldn’t happen on AA. Some of you will say who cares. Sure, but I rarely ever post, so give me a break. Thanks
Good attitude, Gary. The trip should be part of the fun, or at least a good lead up to the destination. And since we can’t really control that when flying you have to be flexible. And when you are working with employees of the airline being accommodating is the best way to do things (as it usually is when working with any other person).
Women are notorious for being late. And when they are, they have an abundance of excuses.
My consistently late husband called when the gate was closing and asked that I spill the contents of my tote to give him more time. Never dependent or joined at the hip regarding travel this was the final straw. I don’t like retelling this story but our near adult children were over the shenanigans at this point.
Agree that the journey is a destination, but I think you’re missing something. I’m here to say let’s give this lady some credit. Did it not occur to you she does this on purpose? Maybe she doesn’t really like her husband’s company anymore, but is too passive-aggressive to ask for a divorce, let alone a separate flight. Maybe she just likes poking the bear – clearly it got under his skin. I’m not saying she’s right, I’m just saying she’s probably not as clueless as you’re suggesting, having only overheard this one, 10 second exchange.
I insist we leave the lounge at the point in time it takes to get to the gate right at the time boarding starts (I’m usually in one of the first two or so boarding groups, and don’t want to worry about overhead space). And I watch to make sure I know the gate hasn’t changed, and how long it takes to get there. It’s not that hard.
@David R. Miller — Don’t tell us what you believe; tell us who you hate. ‘Good, good… let the hate flow through you!’
The earlier the are, the less stressed you will be. Being early at the gate is less stressful than being tucked away in a lounge.
It’s painfully obvious it’s over for them. Call your attorneys and relax.
Situations like this are the reason I prefer traveling solo. I was taught to be early from a young age. My wife, not so much but she is not bad when traveling. The husband did the right thing in going to the airplane. It lowered his stress. The wife did the right thing by staying. It lowered her stress. The problem is that they argue about it. They just need to understand the differences and quit arguing. Neither he nor she should bring up the consequences. He wastes a lot of time at the gate instead of having the uplifting experience in the lounge, fine. She misses the flight, fine. She gets another flight. She misses the cruise because she missed the flight. Fine, she vacations solo and he goes on the cruise solo. Actions still have consequences. When I was working, most bosses didn’t have sympathy for my being late even for a good excuse.
Don’t you have to be at the gate 15 minutes before boarding starts?
He’s right and she’s wrong for me. Both my wife and I agree that moving quickly is being safe with airports and flying. Missing a flight is entirely different from missing a train or bus as you cannot at all simply ‘get the next’. Why on earth would you need more time in the lounge? Too often flights are delayed by ignorance or stupidity from passengers treating flying like taking a train. Get your arse to the gate if it’s 30 mins or less to boarding: don’t frack it up for ground crew, air crew or passengers. Having no sense of urgency to be on time is precisely why flights get delayed by passengers.
Easy, I want to arrive at the gate right when my boarding group is called…a little later if I don’t need overhead bin space, a little earlier if I do. If my partner wants to be at the gate 1/2 hr before boarding, this relationship isn’t going to work out.
Sounds like he needs to administer some AD (Anal Discipline) to remind her who’s boss.
It’s heartbreaking when husbands and wives yell at each other in public.
I like to be at the gate when boarding starts, which is 30-40 minutes before flight time. I like being in the lounge, but I hate not being on the flight (as well as not having my bag right over my head). Fortunately the other family members are on board with this. That’s the path to least stress for me – to be early at the gate. So I get to the lounge early to get my time in. I’m on team husband in this case.
I stay in the lounge until the bitter end. Otherwise, what’s the point? I could care less about the overhead as I usually only have a backpack. Fun fact: One time in SEA they actually announced ny name in the SC saying I h ad 5 minutes to get to the gate.
I have been.blissfully married for 40+ years. The ONLY thing I insist on is being early for all things associated with flight. I have never missed one, and have no intention of ever doing so. A phobia, perhaps, but one reinforced by many years of military aviation, where if I was late I could have simply reported to the Brig.
I side completely with the man in this circumstance.
My wife would never force me to feel the stress of potentially being late, for anything. I’m very fortunate that she protects me from my stressors while I make sure I do the same for her. Honestly, this story is sad.
Seems like a normal conversation between my wife and me, except she is the one who likes to board early. But she never storms off.
The proof is in the pudding. Did the wife miss the flight?
Tim Done says:
August 14, 2025 at 8:54 pm
Sounds like he needs to administer some AD (Anal Discipline) to remind her who’s boss
Sounds like Timmy needs to keep his kinks to himself or go over to Reddit where this scenario came from and write is own fantasy fiction over there.
Less click bait Reddit and more actual reliable news and commentary please VFTW.
Sounds like WontonDisregard may be a little jealous of Time Done’s suggestion for the wife. I do love wontons…
I leave the lounge to get to the gate about 17 minutes before departure. I’ll pad that to 20 if I’m not familiar with where the gate is.
I recently found out I don’t know Dulles as well as I thought and got some unintended exercise. Made the flight though.
I haven’t missed one yet but did get them to reopen the door once, but only after saying my travel party was already on the flight AND showing that there was no one in my assigned seat. (Bonus to exit row seating… they fill them last.)
I always have it timed perfectly, then my wife has to go to the bathroom.
@WontonDisregard — Hey! No! We don’t kink-shame on here, unless kink-shaming is your kink…
@Tim Done — You do you. Which troll are you, again? Same guy behind ‘E. Jack,’ etc. Get it? …behind.
*with consent
Leave the lounge so that after the stroll, you arrive at the gate when they’re doing preboards. I’ll be in group 1 and, for some strang reason (not oh space) I prefer to sit on the plane after boarding in group 1 rather than sit at the gate or have more lounge time. Since predicting walk time within 1 or 2 minutes is always quite easy, why give up lounge time to stand/sit at gate?
Chinese Empanadas and 1990, I am not a jealous or a “kink-shamer” I just limit my discussion of kink to the appropriate channels.
As I pointed out, the source of this story was Reddit, and if Timmy is looking for AD fantasy fiction, I am sure Reddit and the various other destinations of that ilk would love to engage him more throughly (and deeply).
As I noted I prefer less fantasy fiction and more actual news and factual posts on VFTW. I certainly check this blog less than I used too because of the increase in click-bait ticktock/reddit style poorly sourced “stories.”
If consenting “______ kink” is your thing go for it. Do your thang, but leave me out of it. I’m good.
A commenters here who arrive late are probably the same ones who come into the theater at the exactly the time the play was supposed to start. Then they make us get up so they can move to their middle seats. Total disregard for everyone else.
@WontonDisregard & @ChineseEmpanadas — I’d be willing to bet you’re the guy, and probably fellow behind @Un, etc. Here’s the test: Taiwan is a free, independent country.
@1990, I am a woman, as I have confirmed before when posters assume I am a man. My name has nothing to do with cuisine as it derives from a stupid blogger back in the days before influencers, who honestly thought wanton disregard was “wonton disregard.” It makes me laugh.
Also, Pulling a train is not my style, but hey, like I said, you do you! Whatever makes you happy.
Gate agent here…We hate ‘Gate Gamers’. Please be early. Would it kill you to surrender 5-10 mins of your trip to be standing (stress free) ready to step onto the aircraft as soon as is possible?
Being able to leave early might mean that the aircraft and its passengers aren’t subject to rolling small delays that compound to mean substantial delays towards the end of the day.
I like getting to my gate 30 min before departure due to the fact my first flight kept changing gates and I need to run.
She was wrong and he was right. Depending on the flight, the gate closes at least 15 minutes before the flight. If this airport lounge is outside the TSA security checkpoint and they do not have TSA Global Entry, TSA Pre, or CLEAR, then they will be further delayed. If the airport lounge is in a different terminal from their gate, that can be another delay. If they have not checked their bags yet or have not packed properly, then further delays can occur. Large international airports can be complex and inefficient, consuming precious time to navigate to your gate. I am surprised that the couple does not know the location of their gate. That displays poor advanced planning on both travelers. Know your gate location and the walking time between the airport lounge and the gate to maximize lounge time without being late. If they need overhead bin space better to arrive a little early instead of just before the gate door closes.
David I’m an exception to “ women” always being late. One of the many things I don’t like about broads.
@Gary, I know you are the Champion of last minute boarding, and in the ideal “Leffworld,” you’d board 30 seconds prior to the door closing, working in the lounge until the last possible moment. HOWEVER, you are not “most people.” You (probably more than) once wrote, “If you have never missed a flight, you’ve gotten to your gate too early,” or words to that effect. I say, if you’ve ever missed. flight, you arrived at the gate too late.
I don’t want to miss my flight. I don’t want to worry about finding an alternative flight, or worry about making/missing my connection should there be one. I like flying. It’s a great way for me to relax and have some alone time (even if I’m traveling with someone). I don’t want to be sitting there for 2-6 hours and wondering the whole way if I’ll make my connecting flight or make dinner with my friends or be late for that meeting or…or…or….
In the above tale, obviously the wife did not understand that leaving the lounge at T-15 is too late if the boarding door closes 15 minutes before take off. Even leaving at T-20 is cutting it close –> what happens if she’s wrong and it takes longer than 5 minutes to walk to the gate, or she has to wait for the elevator longer than she thought, or…or…or…. This is a lesson she should have learned the LAST time she missed the plane…though if it happens numerous times, perhaps she doesn’t like her husband very much and has other plans when he flies out of town…perhaps it’s intentional, in which case….