Your Airline is Recommitted to Screwing Up Your Travels This Holiday Season

In the race to develop new ancillary fees, the airline that wins is going to be the one that’s first to charge you for your emotional baggage.

So Funny or Die revives a fictional Western Airlines (no, not the Western that Delta Air Lines acquired in late 1986) and they’re sharing with you what you can expect this holiday season.

You are a cog in the modern transportation machine and we will burn your a– up like jet fuel. You are nothing to us. Nothing. You have no choice in air travel. You have no one to turn to if we wrong you. You are the dirty water we make coffee with. You are the flavorless peanuts we shove down your throats to keep you quiet for an extra minute. So this holiday season we look forward to serving you, and by serving you we mean seeing how quickly we can trigger your emotional breakdown. Happy travels idiots.

Note that language in this video is ‘NSFW’.

It’s more or less true that you have no one you can turn to if you’re wronged. Under Northwest v. Ginsberg pretty much your only avenue of redress is the Department of Transportation but the DOT has been systematically improperly ignoring consumer complaints about frequent flyer programs.

On the other hand the credit card you use to buy your tickets may be the best place to go for justice — for flight delay coverage (get your hotel and meals paid for if you’re stuck) and for baggage delay coverage (usually up to $100 a day for necessary purchases).

Here are 6 tips to make your holiday travel less stressful this week.

(HT: Gary K.)

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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  1. Hey Gary, if you had to chose one or two credit cards to put airline spend based solely on travel protection, which would it be? I know one of the other bloggers did a fantastic comparison write up of the travel protection different cards provide but cant seem to find it. Thanks.

  2. @Shaun – Citi Prestige has really generous protection since you only need a 4 hour delay to trigger. Citi and Chase Sapphire Preferred/Reserve both allow split tender payments meaning award tickets are covered, but only up to the amount actually paid on the card (so great for awards with lots of taxes / fuel surcharges)

  3. Funny video! But in some ways it understates the problem, in that it doesn’t emphasize the many extra fees the passenger will be charged. Funny or Die could have had a field day with that topic.

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