From The Onion:

..Bank of America unveiled its new Existential Rewards credit card program at a press event Friday, which will reportedly allow cardholders to accrue a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose on all purchases.

…the more they spend with their Existential Rewards credit card, the more meaning they gain in their lives,” said Bank of America spokeswoman Miranda Behr, who added that with no foreign transaction fees and an introductory zero-percent APR, racking up an abiding sense of purpose was as easy as earning three self-realization points for every dollar spent, plus double fulfillment at grocery stores and restaurants.

…60,000 points is all you need to attain everlasting enlightenment.”

I don’t know, I still prefer points that transfer to American AAdvantage miles. Because I can attain a whole lot of enlightenment if I down enough Krug in Cathay Pacific first class.

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