Bank of America Introduces New Existential Credit Card Rewards

From The Onion:

..Bank of America unveiled its new Existential Rewards credit card program at a press event Friday, which will reportedly allow cardholders to accrue a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose on all purchases.

…the more they spend with their Existential Rewards credit card, the more meaning they gain in their lives,” said Bank of America spokeswoman Miranda Behr, who added that with no foreign transaction fees and an introductory zero-percent APR, racking up an abiding sense of purpose was as easy as earning three self-realization points for every dollar spent, plus double fulfillment at grocery stores and restaurants.

…60,000 points is all you need to attain everlasting enlightenment.”

I don’t know, I still prefer points that transfer to American AAdvantage miles. Because I can attain a whole lot of enlightenment if I down enough Krug in Cathay Pacific first class.

About Gary Leff

Gary Leff is one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel - a topic he has covered since 2002. Co-founder of frequent flyer community, emcee of the Freddie Awards, and named one of the "World's Top Travel Experts" by Conde' Nast Traveler (2010-Present) Gary has been a guest on most major news media, profiled in several top print publications, and published broadly on the topic of consumer loyalty. More About Gary »

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  1. The Onion had a misprint. It is actually Chase and the conversation did really happen. BofA new card is called “The Pretender”

  2. The one great thing about Existential Rewards which I cannot believe they did not push in their pitch is that they are the one reward currency that you don’t have to worry about passing along to your heirs. The rewards go with you automatically into the afterlife.

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