A frequent flyer on Reddit asks whether they’re a jerk for reclining their seat. As background, they’re 6’3″ and in first class, and they try to be polite – making sure the person in the seat behind them “doesn’t have a laptop out… then slowly recline[s their] seat back.” And they still wound up in a hostile encounter with a passenger when they did it. They gave in the first time, and kept their seat straight, until after the meal when a flight attendant gave them ‘permission’ to try again.
This flight was about 4.5 hours cross the US, and within 20 seconds of reclining back, dude taps me on the shoulder and says “Raise your damn seat.” Genuinely surprised, I moved it up to appease the guy, but called over the flight attendant and told her that I intended to move it back after meal service and asked her to give the guy a heads up. She reassured me that’s my prerogative, so I didn’t worry about it.
After meal service, did my routine and reclined the seat. Dude taps me again and says “I asked you to move your seat up, man.” I turn and say, “You’re welcome to talk to the flight attendant about it.” He called her over, and she reiterated that I was entitled to recline my seat.
AITA for reclining my first class airplane seat?
by u/skyhawk3485 in AmItheAsshole
This guy was totally reasonable. The passenger behind him was not. But when you fly commercial you’re thrown together with people from all sorts of backgrounds, with different cultural contexts and expectations, some of whom are even having bad days. It’s small-d democratic even in first class, which hasn’t been the province of the wealthy in forty years (before the collapse of business travel during the pandemic, it was mostly middle managers).
But let’s not forget that airlines have been cutting legroom in first class not just coach! American Airlines 737s used to offer 40 inches of pitch, the distance from seatback to seat back. That was cut to 38 inches by pre-merger American Airlines management, and current US Airways management offers first class with just 36 inches between seats. That matches Delta.
However seat recline is important for passengers on long flights with poorly-padded seats, and American’s first class seats aren’t as well-padded as they used to be either. Recline works to distribute passenger weight and reduce back stress. Reclining is also a passenger’s right.
- The seat is designed to recline (except on certain airlines like Spirit and Frontier)
- A passenger controls their own seat
- Airlines ban the Knee Defender device, which prevents recline – a device was designed to stop reclining and airlines wouldn’t allow it (though largely to prevent damage to the seat)
That’s not true everywhere. In China a passenger who reclined a train seat without telling the person behind them first was ordered to pay $475.
In the U.S. there’s no government enforcement of courtesy, but in an environment surrounded by masses of people it’s nice to pretend no one else exists. It’s even better to take politeness into account. So there is an etiquette to exercising your right to recline.
- Don’t recline during mealtime.
- Try not to recline unless it serves a real purpose (if it doesn’t actually benefit your comfort, don’t recline).
If someone is reclining their seat, and you’re trying to work, the trick is to use the seat behind you as a standing desk.
guy on my 5 hr. flight has been using his seat as a standing desk pic.twitter.com/24UTaQz43n
— High Yield Hairy Balls (@nycdouche_) February 22, 2023
But if you don’t want the passenger in front of you to recline, the correct approach is to politely ask them not to. And if they want to recline and you don’t want them to, seek a Coasian solution. Offer them money not to recline.
I once paid a child (with their parents’ permission) not to recline on a Cleveland – Los Angeles flight so that I could work on my laptop. It was the best $5 I could have spent.
Pay for my seat and you can tell me what to do with it.
Until then, I will tell you what you can do with it.
the space including the recline is passenger’s space from the reclining seat, not the other way around. “Your space” in front of your seat is limited to the fully reclined position of the seat in front of you and back to your seat’s fully reclining position.
I’ve encountered a few jerks who demand me not recline. I offer to switch with them since they won’t recline right? Strangely enough most of these jerks don’t take me up on it or are reclining themselves. SMH
The rude and thuglike attitude didn’t help matters much. If initiallly approached with courtesy and a modicum of respect, maybe there would have been a much different outcome.
LOL at the standing desk individual, awkward
@Mon I like that approach! Will definitely try it out next time I am asked to not recline. If they decide to recline, I’ll just laugh it off and think about how selfish and horrible of a human they are compared to me.
On a semi-related note, AA’s Kodiak retrofits still have a glaring error/omission: no device holders in bulkhead seats in both F and Y. I personally like the bulkhead for the extra-extra legroom, but the fact that they don’t provide device holders for those seats makes them a no-go for me now
If you’re not trying to sleep then it’s pure DYKWIA behavior Oops! Accidentally bumped the seat again
@ Gary — I would love to see soemeone try this with the FCQ. It might not be pretty.
Gary, I read the full initial Redditt on this. Unless, I misread it, the passenger who complained of the other one reclining was in the first row of coach, while the recliner was in the last row of first. Shouldn’t change the math, but just fyi. And on those facts, there could have been some “first class resentment” at play.
Wow!
Anything to complain about. Two million plus miles and still amazed at these entitled people thinking the world revolves around them.
Never put the seat back during meals, otherwise, use it!
While in my opinion, Airlines shouldn’t even offer the option to recline, especially in coach, as long as they do, you should ask the person behind you if it is ok to recline and accept if they say no.
I am 6’3″ and have gotten my knees bruised blue by idiots who recline without asking before…
“I’m sorry, you have mistaken me for someone who doesn’t appreciate what I have paid for, so I will have to decline your request.” Even if someone asks me politely, I’m still going to recline. As long as the button still works, it is mine to control.
I hate that this issue is put onto the passenger. Why does the passenger have to deal with this. It is on the greed of the airlines for jamming seats too close together. Or make all seats non-reclinable. At least on flights of less than four hours.
Aww, Hell No. when I pay big money for first class seat, because of bad back, I’m going to recline my seat. That’s what I’m paying for!
I honestly don’t think reclining makes it that more comfortable, so I usually don’t.
Reclining the seats on an aircraft crushes the legs of the person in the seat behind. The airline should really fix the seats so that they will not recline. If someone leans their seat back and crushes my legs I will not tolerate it. Why should I? I have also paid for a seat and the airline should provide me with one without having my legs crushed.
Anyway a four and a half hour flight is not a very long flight. It might be different on overnight transatlantic or transpacific flights, but often those aircraft have a bit more legroom.
LOL idk who told you flying on a plane is “small d democratic” but it’s not. There is no democracy on a plane, you follow what the captain and attendants say, and democracy has nothing to do with people being “thrown together with people from all sorts of backgrounds, with different cultural contexts and expectations, some of whom are even having bad days”.
Get a life~!!
Is this really a discussion? Anyone sitting in First Class should be extremely thankful they’re not sitting in economy, and as most people “up front” have not actually paid for the experience, they should be even more appreciative of the extra space. If the recline is offered by the airline, it is there to be used….freely. Anyone that disagrees needs to check themselves at the door or disembark. People are ridiculous!
Reclining is rude. Try it in a passenger car with someone behind you. Or be the person whose space is invaded by a seat in your face. Everyone is uncomfortable on a plane. Don’t be a jerk a make other people more uncomfortable. They paid too.
@michelle they paid, too… for a seat with a recline button (unless they’re in an exit row)… and they can recline, too. I do not have a problem with the person in front of me reclining. And, you shouldn’t either.
I hate when people recline back and I have little leg room as is, especially when I have my tray down. The real people at fault is the airlines. and their cramming people in like cattle. Most problems on planes are caused by airlines cramming people in the way they do.
No, you’re wrong. I’m a flight attendant. There is no etiquette for seat reclining. The only time a seat cannot be reckoned is for taxi, takeoff and landing. Other than that it can be fully reclined, including meal services. There is no need to ask permission from the person behind you. We need to set this straight. The only thing we ask is you do not slam your seat back in the reclined position fast as not to injure the person behind you or damage their laptop. Other than that it totally 100 percent your prerogative when you want to recline your seat just like the person behind you has their right to recline their seat.
Here is the ultimate and final solution to this ongoing ridiculous situation: rework seat where NONE of thEM decline. NONE IN ANY CLASS, on any US carrier domestic flights. If you can’t sit upright for a trip…tough!
Flying is travel, not a business person’s workspace. While I give a courteous heads-up when I recline, don’t even ask me not to. You’re not more important than me. I can’t believe this article even suggested to negotiate it. Back off. Reclining is allowed. Period.
Simple solution would be to redesign the seats. Instead of reclining backwards, the seat slides forward….i.e if you want to recline, you lose some of your own legroom.
@Al LeFeusch. What a ridiculous comment. You don’t have a problem with reclining so nobody else should have a problem with reclining? Even when they say they do? I have a problem with it, I fly a lot, I’m 6’2″ and it does bother me. But go ahead, tell me in your simple way that I shouldn’t have a problem with it because you don’t have a problem with it.
I was seated in row 1, in 1st class and the gentleman next to me took his shoes and socks off and propped his feet on the wall in front of him. GROSS!!! His feet stink as well!
I asked the attendant to address the situation and she did not! So I politely told the man his feet stunk and to please put his socks/shoes on. Thankfully he did.
What is wrong with people who think their actions don’t affect others around them? Or why do they think they are in their own private space at home when they are in public?
Short daylight flight? There’s really no need to recline your seat. Long haul? Recline after meal service or when they crew ask shades to be drawn and slam off the lights. Red-eye? Of course recline!
Look at all the tall folks in the comments with their feelings hurt. The one place in life where they’re at a disadvantage compared to their short brethren and they can’t bare it for 3 hours!
Here’s the etiquette. No one expects you to ride with your seat in upright and locked position. After takeoff, it’s reasonable to recline your seat just an inch or two for comfort of your back.
Reclining your seat all the way back is rude, sorry. The exception would be if it’s a redeye flight and the whole cabin is trying to sleep. Really, there’s no need to jack your seat all the way back.
People wrongly assert that they “paid for this seat” and they have every right to fully recline it. Well, the person behind you paid for his seat too. Most current seats recline by taking space from behind them. I have seen a few newer seats that move forward as they recline.
When the seat reclining wars start raging, the airlines have no choice but to restrict the recline of the seats to keep peace. Most of the offensive seat recliners I see are not regular travelers.
Can your site just a have one reject all button for cookies? No one want st to scroll through a 100 partners to maximize their privacy.
I’m 6′-7″ tall. I’ve never seen first class seats that were so close together that having one recline in front of me would be a problem. Coach is another story. Nobody who sits in front of me can ever recline even if they want to because my knees are solidly wedged into the back of the seat in front of me, even in the exit row.
Every flight I have ever been on, including first class had seats that reclined only a few inches. It really isn’t enough incline to impact the person sitting behind. I think this whole recline controversary has been cooked up the airlines to deflect the outrage over reducing passenger space so they can make more money.
The “rule” is stupid. Why is the guy in front of me entitled to make himself more comfortable by making me miserably uncomfortable for several hours if we both have the same class ticket? From a common courtesy aspect, what makes you so entitled that you feel I should have to sit with the back of your seat crushing my knees and your head in my lap across from one end of the country to the other? Glad you’re comfortable, but where am I supposed to sit? Don’t be surprised when I exercise my right to make you equally uncomfortable by constantly pushing against the seat or rattling a newspaper loudly right behind your head while you’re trying to sleep. Petty, but quid pro quo.
I agree with the comments about not reclining. The new first class domestic seats don’t have enough pitch to recline without bothering the passengers behind. Spirit has done the right thing by removing the recliner from the big front seats. I really wish AA, Alaska, UA and Delta did the same.
Au contraire. The opposite should happen. Let’s not spoil it for everyone. Spirit and Frontier are low-cost cattle cars. You get what you pay for.
AA, and UA are ubiquitous and should be called out for ruining travel. Used to be, you could be productive on your laptop on a flight. No more. I would much rather fly Lufthansa to Europe than even think about flying domestically in the U.S.
Sadly, regulations are required to counter the notion that corporate profits come first.
Also sadly. Flying used to be fun. Now it just sucks.
If I were a passenger and overheard the conversation I would’ve had to say something.
Charlie Daniels was correct when he sang “What this world needs is a few more rednecks”
This crap again.
1. The airlines are not going to change seat size and pitch. They are in it for the bucks so best learn to deal with it or fly private.
2. As long as there is a recline button, I’m going to use it. I’ll be slow about it but it’s going back of I want it to.
Some of you act like your wishes and demands should be the only one’s considered. You bought a ticket KNOWING there are recline buttons, then wail and moan and think everyone should bend your demand that nobody is allowed to recline.
I’m not fond of kids on planes but I don’t demand they not be allowed to fly. I don’t like women who drench themselves in perfume or men in aftershave which aggravate my allergies but I don’t demand they not be allowed to fly.
I’m surprised some of you haven’t declared yourself vegan and demand there be no meals served on board with meat in it.
There are flying realities. Learn to deal with them instead of demanding it be your way only.
I would like to remind everyone to practice kindness and respect towards fellow passengers on flights. It’s important to understand that airline seats are designed to recline for passenger comfort, and it’s within their right to do so. Engaging in confrontational behavior with other passengers or demanding flight attendants to intervene may create unnecessary tension during a flight. Let’s strive to be understanding and considerate towards each other during air travel. #AirTravelEtiquette #PassengerCourtesy #InFlightRespect
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Michelle and others reclining is not rude. It is part of the flight experience. Don’t recline during meal service otherwise it’s your choice. I would have ignored that jerk the moment he used profanity in his request. I have no toleration for rude people.
As someone who is 5’7” if I were actually able to stand straight, but with a fused leg, a fused hip, and a fused back, I need every inch of seat space/recline available. It is already exceedingly painful for me to attempt to fly. I don’t need anything to make it harder or more painful.
To anyone who says, “oh, just don’t travel,” Consider the impact on you if you could no longer travel.
Along with other pre-flight announcements flight attendants- or maybe one of the pilots – should announce the airline’s seat reclining policy for that flight. That way everyone should be operating under the same set of expectations. Individuals may agree or disagree with the policy but they’d at least know what it is.
Simple solution….if the person in front of me reclines, then I recline my seat! It’s not rocket science people! If you are tall then pay extra to sit in a seat with more legroom…obese people have to pay for an extra seat when they travel.
I’m laughing at all the people here saying “there’s no need to recline… just keep bumping the back of his seat… it’s a short flight…. it’s no more comfortable so don’t do it… etc.”
One person here correctly identified the problem. It’s the airlines jamming more seats into the space they have so it’s their greed making YOU angry that I’m reclining my seat.
I’m tall (6 4) and I pay to fly first class so I’m comfortable. Anyone in first class who doesn’t want the person in front of them to recline is too high maintenance and frankly, is being unreasonable. You fly first class and you don’t want anyone reclining in front of you? Reserve the first row. Those are usually the last seats to get booked anyway.
@Arrowsoace90
A red eye is precisely the time when people do want to recline their seats so they can sleep. You can recline yours too. I’m a flight attendant. There is no etiquette when not recline your seat and we will not enforce any. As long as it’s upright for taxi, takeoff and landing.
The reclining seat problem was caused by the airlines squeezing seats too close together in pitch. Fortunately there are airlines who give you more knee room. I chose to fly those airlines. I think that there should be at most limited recline if the seat back imposes into the area a passenger has during takeoff and landing. The seat should slide forward instead to create a reclined back. This would work effectively in the first and business class seats with much greater pitch.
People who say “it’s my right to recline” just don’t have consideration for other people. It’s that simple. That’s the problem with this world. It’s a “me, me” society where I get what I want when I want it. It’s gotten worse with the social media age. I never recline, not because I wouldn’t want to be more comfortable, but because I know it would be less comfortable for the person behind me. If we all acted like that, the world would be a better place. The easiest fix is for airlines to limit the recline.
1. Almost every seat on an airplane reclines.
2. That’s the product that airlines are offering.
3. That’s the product I purchased. I fully expect to recline my seat as I wish, when I wish. (Aside from taxi, takeoff and landing)
4. You know that seats recline on this airplane. Most likely, yours does, too.
5. You still clicked Purchase.
6. You’re not entitled to the seat that I paid for. If your needs are so important, select a seat that meets your needs.
@ Southworst I have spine and neck injuries that are aggravated when sitting upright. I don’t have to be sleeping or get a repeated “bump-oops” from you. I imagine they would be painful so after the second one, my “oops” might be with a cup of ice water full of ice in my hand.
Have a nice flight!
Reason #1001 to fly charter.
Airlines have cunningly pitted passengers against each other when the airlines themselves created the problem by providing inadequate room for passengers. This problem won’t improve until passengers demand more room from airlines.