A flight attendant insisted that parents of a young child give up their baby’s seat so that a someone with a disability could have it. The parents refused.
Since children under two aren’t required to have a seat, the crewmember thought that they could sit on a parents lap. The family was taking up a full bulkhead row in coach, and the suggestion was that one of them take the middle seat, and the other either the aisle or window, so that the man could stretch his legs in an aisle or window seat.
The mom sought a ruling from Reddit on whether she was in the wrong.
AITA for not making my child move to accommodate someone with a possible disability?
byu/AITAflightseats inAmItheAsshole
My husband and I were flying yesterday with our 1yo. He’s very active so we always buy him his own seat rather than putting him on our laps for the flight. We had bulkhead seats (those at the front of the cabin with extra legroom).
When we boarded the flight attendants told us to belt baby to one of us parents for takeoff and landing and that once the seatbelt signs were off we could settle him into his own seat. That was all fine. I put him in my lap and belted him to me while I was waiting for other passengers to board. As the last people were boarding another flight attendant (FA) came toward us with a tall guy using a cane.
According to the flight attendant, the man who “is in some pain and needs space to stretch his legs…wouldn’t mind sitting in the aisle or window” and insisted that “children under 2 aren’t allocated seats. Please let the gentleman sit down.”
But the family purchased the seat for their 10 hour flight. They held firm. After some consultations, they were allowed to keep the seat.
- The man may have benefited from extra space
- But he didn’t plan for extra space
- That’s between him and the airline
- And shouldn’t require sacrifice – holding a child for 12 hours – on the part of this one family
- Certainly not without compensation!
Unfortunately things don’t always work out so well for the family that was allowed to keep the seat they’d purchased for their child.
American Airlines takes the position that children under two aren’t entitled to seats, even when the family has paid for a seat. They can be bumped out of the seat for another passenger for any reason, and the family isn’t entitled to a refund since they’ve been transported. It’s almost like when Pakistan International Airlines flies more passengers than they even have seats, with people standing in the aisle for nearly 2,000 miles.
In that case, the mom sued American and won $3,500. Legend.
On the other hand, when Delta oversold a flight and demanded that a family give up a seat they were using for a small child, the airline kicked the whole family off the flight for causing trouble even though they’d finally agreed.
You think the seat that you’ve paid for is yours, but you’re always at the mercy of rogue airline employees with their own sense of rules and fairness, like former US Airways gate agents at American Airlines that refuse to put customers with elite status on standby lists for full flights because other passengers have been ahead of them and they think their company’s priorities are wrong to let their most frequent customers jump the queue.
(HT: Paul H)
NTA. They paid for the child’s seat. That’s the end of the discussion. I am disabled and I would never expect someone in a seat that they paid for to move in order to accommodate me. I plan ahead.
Agree – if you pay for a seat you should keep it. I rarely switch and then only for a comparable or better seat. Also, don’t do that unless asked VERY nicely and there is a compelling reason to do so.
In this case they paid for the seat which maybe the FA wasn’t aware of (but obviously could have checked that all 3 seats were assigned). The issue is the disabled person should have worked with a gate agent to get the seat reassigned before boarding. Once people are in their seats it is too late to expect anyone to move (even though many people may).
You pay for the seat it should be yours. And as someone who travels with a child, that bulkhead is also clutch for giving them space to wiggle around (and not tick off other passengers).
There shouldn’t even be a question. They paid for a seat for the child, it’s the child’s seat. There is nothing that says a child under two can’t sit in their own seat. The child just needs to be in a car seat. As to the man with the injury, he should have purchased a seat that would address whatever issue that he had. So over seat bullies who try to make people move to accommodate their cheap decisions.
10 hour flight, and the disabled man didn’t plan for this? After 10 hours of a baby on her lap, she would be physically compromised herself.
Not happening.
Perhaps he was injured after purchasing his ticket; if a full flight no opportunity to remedy?
1000 % agreed with all of my fellow commenters, but the real question is: What the heck happened to American ??? My favorite airline has made so many boneheaded moves in the past few years, it certainly has me wondering. Just flew them yesterday (and the FA’s were amazing), but I read this stuff and really wonder. Here’s hoping they get some new leadership that can restore them to the best in the US soon !!!
The family paid for 3 seats, they get 3 seats.
Simple.
This guilting or shaming the family to give up a paid seat is ridiculous.
I am disabled as well and agree with JetsFan, they paid for the seat and are entitled to use it. I plan ahead when booking seats and if I don’t, it’s on me. If it were a short flight it might be another story, but for a t2 hour flight, it is a non-starter to pay for seat and be denied its use because another passenger did not think ahead. The airline crew is entirely wrong in this case and should receive corrective training. Just another example of American Airlines poor customer service. I fly many times a year and studiously avoid flying American when ever possible.
Why not see if someone in an aisle seat would swap. Just as bad as asking those bulkhead seat people to move.
It’s an absurd, shameful argument made by the FA, and the subsequent debate is absurd also.
It’s as if you were dining in a restaurant, but someone at an adjacent table insisted you hand them your plate, that you paid for, because they are really hungry, and simply being seated in the place doesn’t mean you’ll get to eat your purchased food, and the server backs them up.
Stories like this blaze the path to punitive re-regulation.
@Gary, I didn’t see that it said American Airlines because if it was, then two mistakes were made. On AA you do not belt your child to you. Big NO NO and the F/A was wrong to tell them to belt baby to them if that was indeed what they said. As far as the seat, I agree with the family. You pay for the seat it is yours. I would have found the man another seat.
They should give up the child’s seat if there is an extreme emergency, like the last plane out of Da Nang Vietnam in 1975 or the fall of Kabul to the Taliban when President Biden withdrew US forces. Normal flight, the child gets the seat.
You paid, its your seat, the guy, no offense to him, plan better next time.
They paid for the seat, so TS to the airline on this one. NTA
“…wouldn’t mind sitting in the aisle or window”
This makes me puke. Not only wants a paid seat, but picky about which one.
Sorry but I sure the hell wouldn’t want my kid sitting/shitting on my lap for 10 hours!
Alaska Airlines has callouts for three seats that are bulkhead coach (Seats 6A-C) when you select them. These are designated seats for those that need accommodations and you may be moved if someone needs it. They’re among the best seats in coach. I select them all the time and so far, I have been moved once. But it wasn’t during the boarding process. I just bring this up as there may be more to the story.
For a 10 hour flight, there is no question I would stand my ground and insist that I paid for these specific seats for my family.
@Russ- I suspect the FA only offered to have the man take the window or aisle as they assumed the family with the young child would not want to be separated for the long flight.
But I agree with the other commentators- buy a seat, keep the seat, especially for such a long flight.
NTA. The person in pain could have done several things to give himself more room. Poor planning on his part. He could have bought a seat earlier so he could have reserved a seat with more knee room. He could have bought an upper class seat that comes with more knee room. He could have bought two seats, with the extra one for comfort. Failing to do any of those things, the family with the seat for the baby is under no obligation to make themselves miserable to accommodate him when they have purchased (rented?) all of the seats that they are occupying. The first flight attendant trying to seat the man was wrong and the later complainers were also wrong. BTW, maybe I missed it, but the 10 hour flight was not described as being on American Airlines.
As a flight attendant I would have informed the parents that the child would need to sit on their lap as that is not a paid seat.
To the Mom who has the 1 year old…
Forget the fact that you are upset about maybe having to give up the child’s seat …this is MUCH MUCH more important!!
The F/A who told you to “belt the child to you until the seat belt sign is off” gave you instructions that could have resulted in serious (or worse) injuries to your child!! When you put the child on your lap and then put the belt around BOTH of you this is what could happen..
1. In the event of a high speed rejected take off the belt will keep both of you in the seat. That’s it’s job however…
2. In the seconds that it takes the plane to slow down you (Mom) continue to move forward.
3. Your child (in your lap) will also move slightly forward in those seconds and the belt will stop the forward motion of her or him.
4. However just for a few seconds you (Mom) will continue to move forward. The belt has already stopped the forward motion of your child but you are still moving into her/him and your child ends up being squished between you and the seat belt. Serious injuries have happened because of this.
The proper and safe way is to put your belt around you only! Then securely (both arms) hold your child in your lap.
Picard
If it is a paid seat for the baby, it is reserved. The guy with the cane may’ve just been in pain because he didn’t pay for a seat, and couldn’t get the seat he wanted. He may’ve had for the cane for the “benefits”… but we can’t ask those questions..
As a former flight attendant, children are not supposed to be “belted” in with the parent.
@Wayne Zitter, after the parents had done everything correctly for the airline in the article, you coming along and insisting that things be done your way is the reason that many passengers are less than happy with flight attendants. Fortunately in this case the head flight attendant agreed with the father.
If the child is moved to accommodate an individual with one broken leg that implies another passenger with two broken legs would unseat one broken leg guy. And this musical chair senerio makes no sense.
Wayne Zitter is a perfect example of why so many passengers are disappointed in the quality of both ground and inflight service. He evidently doesn’t know company or FAA procedures/regulations and “feels” his way is the right way. Read your manuals Mr. Zitter . . . and the articles you intend to comment on.
I fly a lot, and when I get help from a telephone agent for a seat assignment and ask for a bulkhead seat many times they say “fine, but if a disabled person comes along who needs that seat, we may have to move you. Those bulkhead seats are reserved for bassinets and disabled people. “
I’m sorry. This is outrageous. If you pay for a seat, it is your seat. If the airline were to say “we need the extra seat and we will refund the ticket cost, plus give you 10k miles for the inconvenience. that would be borderline OK. Telling passengers who have paid for a seat that they have to give it up without compensation is sheer theft.
This problem is nothing new.
When we flew cross-country with our under-2 year old daughter over 32 years ago on TWA, we ALWAYS purchased a ticket / seat for her although at the time, that was not that common. It was not only a comfort issue for us, but a major safety issue. She was buckled into her car seat which was tightly buckled into the airline seat.
Only once I recall a flight attendant demanding that we give up our daughter’s seat. I quietly showed her my daughter’s boarding pass and ticket receipt. She was amazed, claiming that what we did was so unusual. She apologized and moved on.
I was on a United flight from FRA to IAD recently in the bulkhead row i economy. A man came on board on crutches and was also in my row. it looked like a recent ankle injury but I can’t be sure. He was in discomfort trying to stretch his leg out and get comfortable situated. The purser noticed and had a brief conversation with him then left the plane to speak with the gate agent. Seems like he asked the GA to put the man in Premium Plus but the GA refused to provide a free upgrade. They shut the door and the purser then moved the gentleman to an empty seat in Premium Plus.
It was all handled very discreetly. I don’t think the man was begging for an upgrade. The purser noticed him in discomfort and did his best to accommodate.
Bravo United purser. (I don’t say that often! )
Wayne – you’re a flaming idiot that can’t read. The seat was paid.
Just like Wayne, the waitress in the flight was a flaming idiot with a mental comprehension issue and an entitled arrogance..
Just another story about the talking coke machines talking out of their butts. .
According to the flight attendant, the man who “is in some pain and needs space to stretch his legs…wouldn’t mind sitting in the aisle or window”.
1) Many people “are in pain” being cramped in tight airline seats.
2) “In some pain” does not equate “legally disabled”.
3) If legally disabled, buy a seat that accommodates you. Ask the airline for a wheelchair at the gate.
4) Note that you cannot “stretch your legs” in a window seat.
5) Forcing people to give up a paid-for seat is THEFT.
6) Ignorance of rules is not a valid defense.
In short, this is another of these “stories” with lots of assumptions and not enough facts.
But based on the scant details in this “story”, the parent are in the right.
i do not think it is the Airlines making these decisions but “rogue” FA or GA doing stupid stuff that gives them Idiot of the week awards. You notice it is the FA or GA asking? it is not like it is a Airline policy that is making the airline look like $%### . I would not be surprised if these FA GA are given bad shifts and bad routs once this is al found out.
It is like the police officer who makes the dept look like %#$# but then has to work Thanksgiving Black Friday Saturday and Monday then also has to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning and New Years Eve followed by New Years day. …. do not F Up the Dept
How any of these FA and GA are now working holidays and weekends
Tomri – so what? The illiterate talking coke machine is what we’re dealing with. THEY”RE PAID TO WORK HOLIDAYS. That’s how retail works. THEY CHOSE THE ROLE. They’re worthless, lazy, scum.
Plain and simple, if the man with the cane had taken the bulkhead seat from the child it would have been theft. There’s no other way to characterize taking something that someone else had paid for.
The Delta case was different, as the child who was sitting in that seat did not actually have a ticket for a seat, but rather as a lap child. They had paid for another seat for someone else, but that passenger was a no-show and the ticket was cancelled as such. So, that family was not actually entitled to that seat and Delta cleared someone else into it, exactly as their policy directs.
But, yeah, in this case where the child actually had a ticket for the seat, trying to force them to give up the seat so that someone else can have more space is not appropriate. The only reason lap children are even allowed is that they determined that the extra cost of the seat for the child would cause more people to take other – more dangerous – modes of transportation instead of flying. It is much safer for a child of any age to be in a seat rather than being held by a parent. In a crash, you cannot hold the child. They will go flying through the cabin and very likely be seriously injured or killed. Trying to get parents who have actually paid for the seat to take the less safe approach so that someone can have more space is not appropriate.
Damn Walter, aren’t you completely and totally exhausted? Do you have any family or friends that can help you?
The disabled guy should have paid for an upgraded seat or talked someone else into it…
I am a retired F/A and these situations are happening more and more. It concerns me that parents are being told misinformation. Never belt a child to the parent, as she or he could be crushed in an emergency as explained in a previous post. The safest place for any child is belted into a seat belt, either directly or in a car seat. I was on a task force back in the 90’s on car seats and children under 2. It used to be, that an adult could purchase a one half fare ticket for the child under two in a car seat. Everything including the coffee pots are secured, so why not an infant? Where is the common sense in this issue? My daughter often traveled in her car seat when she was under two, during the eighties. This is obviously an issue that needs more discussion in training. There have been instances in crashes that a child being held becomes a projectile and does not survive, and those that are in a car seat do. Most kids, especially those on long flts are going to be much more comfortable in the car seat since it is used in their car and they are familiar with it. Don’t you think that if a child is required to be in a car seat and buckled up in a vehicle, that it would make more sense to buckle that child up in an airplane? Car 50 mph verses a plane at 400 mph? If the FAA has changed the ruling, please let me know.
So, yeah, a one year old is safest in a car seat that is buckled into the plane seat. On the one hand, it will certainly be a pain to carry one more thing with you on the plane. On the other hand, chances are you’ll need a car seat at the destination. My point is that when there is a kid in a car seat on a plane seat there is no question that seat has been fully ticketed/paid for and the child cannot be otherwise accommodated. Safer + easier. Obvious NTA — if you paid for a seat you should get it, especially in a world where choosing specific seats is heavily monetized by airlines. Just suggesting there are strategies to avoid this type of confrontation.
That entire subreddit is just reading creative writing. That other sites use it for their “content” is just lazy.
Why is this even an issue? They paid for the seat PERIOD. FA can ask the parents and then drop the matter when they say no. AA you can do better than this.
It seems impossible that someone at American Airlines would say “you are not guaranteed a seat nor are you entitled to a refund if we take it away”.
Is it possible that someone could be that lamebrained?
It hurts me to even defend AA because they are my most hated airline of all time (having never flown Spirit or Allegiant).
I’ve only flown them twice and both times were miserable experiences.
The first time (over 30 years ago) was bad, the second time (15 years ago) was worse, but I thought to at least give them a second chance, but they blew it.
So listen up AA, at least one person is sticking to “I’ll never fly you again”.
The primary use of our AmEx points is to book airplane seats between the US and Europe that have adequate legroom for me and my raft of joint injuries. (Which have included periods when I required the use of a cane.) I discuss these trips with my physical therapists so we know exactly what I need to be doing in the run-up to the flight, during the flight, and immediately afterwards. So if you are using a cane with significant pain, you most likely have had discussions with your care team about a 10 hour overnight flight. (And if you’re not, then maybe you’re like those SW passengers who need wheelchairs to board the plane but miraculously walk off under their own steam when they land…)
Also, if pain was an issue for a passenger, wouldn’t it be painful for an adult to be holding an unhappy 1 y/o on their lap for a 10 hour overnight flight? The pain of two adults (because they would inevitably have to hand off the baby) who planned ahead and paid for the extra seat is less important than the pain of the adult who didn’t plan ahead? Also, a squirmy 1 y/o forced into a lap would be kicking and screaming, so why would you want to sit next to them? Not comfortable for anyone.
The parents were 100% right in refusing to give up their seat. The same happen to me with our oldest many years ago. We also refused and the FA tried to make life miserable for us. I reported her to US Air. I don’t know what happened to her. I told her that in severe turbulence no one is capable of successfully holding a baby or infant in their arms. It’s why we always brought a seat for our kids when they flew with us and used the appropriate child safety seat for each of them. (That flight was 5.5 hours, but it could have been 15 minutes and I would have refused to give up our child’s seat.
Personally, it’s my belief that children shouldn’t be allowed to fly in their parents’ laps ever. The FAA should change the rule. Everyone person on the plane should have a seat of their own, 2 years of age and older, or under 2 years of age.
Good grief this is a no brainer. Of course they were right to refuse. They paid for the seat. He did not. I can’t believe they would ask a passenger to carry a child for which they purchased a seat. Unbelievable.
I recoginize that I may not be a good person but if I bought a seat for my under-2 and was required to hold them in a lap for the flight anyway, I wouldn’t be inclined to keep the child from crying during the flight for the benefit of the other passengers.
He wouldn’t be crying as much if he were in the seat I purchased for maximizing his comfort on the flight. There are consequences to you taking that from me.
In the past year I have heard multiple people complain at rental car companies that the vehicle assigned to them is too small (presumably they booked the cheapest car class). What is with people thinking they are entitled to so much Free, Free, Free when traveling?