A passenger on an American Airlines flight from New York to Charlotte is being accused by the FBI of masturbating in mid flight, based on a warrant filed this week in the U.S. Western District of North Carolina.
Arthur David Fischer, 40, of New Orleans is said to have violated laws against obscene/indecent exposure of genitalia and/or engaging in masturbation on an aircraft.
The flight was on Thursday, and charges were filed Monday.
Let’s not get into the particulars of what happened on the flight. Really, let’s not get into those. There are two uniquely striking things about this case, however.
- If you ever do something like this, your first reaction should be to invoke the Shaggy Defense. It shouldn’t be this:
[H]e denied masturbating, and claimed he was rubbing his crotch with a wipe because it “smelled bad.”
Fischer further stated that his genitals might have been exposed at some point because he felt a “breeze on it.”
- The case was investigated by the Joint Terrorism Task Force.
Talk about dumbing down terror.
If you really want to know what happened, you can read the affadavit of the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force officer.