Rival Monkey Gangs Declare War On Streets Of Thailand As Authorities Arrest Leaders

In Lopburi, Thailand, a significant escalation has occurred involving conflicts between rival monkey factions, leading to significant disruptions. To mitigate the situation, officials have engaged, successfully capturing a key figure among the monkeys, Ai Krao, along with several of his followers. Despite these efforts, the challenge persists due to the monkeys’ adeptness with firearms and understanding of human cues.

Authorities are conducting a citywide effort to capture the leaders of the factions, identified by Yellow and Green affiliations, to dampen the unrest and strategize on long-term solutions.

Events like these are far from unheard of. In 2020 a gang of monkeys took a two hour train trip “in order to search for food where they also fought and dominated the local monkey population.”

Closing the borders to tourists during the pandemic meant tourists were no longer feeding bananas to monkeys, they were starving, and went wild.

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  1. Monkey pro tip: Sneak into a Delta Air Lines Sky Club through an open window and misappropriate a banana. Have a passenger take a photo with this banana in the Sky Club and post it to View From The Wing. Invite the neighborhood monkeys in the airport to consume all the banana bread from the Sky Club breakfast bar. Next, visit the bar to have the bartender concoct a banana drink.

    Regarding banana beverages, according to the website themanual.com, “The option from Creme de Banane from Fugit Spirits stands out, bursting with flavor while balanced. Giffard also makes another stellar, higher-end option, crafted from Brazilian-grown bananas. It tastes a bit caramelized, with woodsy hints of oak that match the robust banana flavor. For something a little more straightforward, albeit a bit sweet, 99 Bananas gets the job done.” Reference: https://www.themanual.com/food-and-drink/best-banana-liqueur-cocktail-recipes/

  2. I don’t trust any of the wild monkeys and I have been near them in several places such as Sattahip and Ko Phi Phi Le.

  3. Is this . . . real? (turns and looks askance at the beer can in the other hand).

  4. Get airline tickets for the monkey leaders and send them on an Emirates flight to the Middle East .

    Also , send a bus-load of the monkeys to China .

  5. Yeah, but have the monkeys applied for the Thai Airways American Express Platinum Card? If so, what’s the best of their benefits, and would you recommend it to them?

  6. Find them optimal credit cards to open where the perks can help solve their problems, perhaps the amex plat?

  7. @Alert. I get your drift but why send these macaques to China? 500 of these guys in DC will bring a world order far more humane that the gang in Washington that can never shoot straight and is fully complicit in murder…

  8. Am I the only one who read this and at first thought the problem was that the monkeys had begun weilding firearms?

  9. The violence-loving trouble-making figurehead is a symptom of that which has already enamored the followers of the trouble-making figurehead. So removing the violence-loving troublemaker may help less than the peacemakers wish because the trouble-maker already has such a huge number of useful idiots willing to follow, peddle or tolerate abusive nonsense that other hardliners are jumping like crazy to be the next in line to carry on with the Make Apes Great Again veil while misbehaving like crazy in plain sight too.

    Perhaps counter-gender-confirming surgery will calm things down when their sex hormone levels drop to such levels that they are made impotent and have no desire to screw around like their monkeying-around dear leader whose self-declared personal Vietnam was STDs because of that.

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