Last week I ate the worst lobster roll I’ve ever had in my life. This shouldn’t surprise anyone – least of which me – because I ate it in an airport.
Let’s back up a bit. I flew to Boston, and it took around 14 hours because American Airlines. I was scheduled onto the first flight of the day for the aircraft, so naturally it went mechanical. American’s mechanics decided it needed a part that they didn’t have in stock in Austin. When I got on my way it was on board an Oasis 737 with the most poorly thought out of seats. Here’s the underseat storage area bisected by a bar attaching the seats to the fuselage.
I was up in Boston for Nomadic Matt‘s Travelcon, an outstanding event I was happy to help support last year in Austin for the inaugural effort and come back to in Boston for 2019. (They’ve just announced 2020 in New Orleans.)
While the program looked amazing I was only in town briefly. I met my co-panelists Ricky Zhang, Tiffany Funk, and moderator Stefan Krasowski before the event and then headed straight to the airport afterward.
I ate breakfast super early, didn’t have a chance for lunch, and would be having a late dinner — so I used the 25 minutes prior to boarding to pop into a Priority Pass restaurant: the nearby one was Stephanie’s by gate B24. (Effective August 1 American Express-issued Priority Pass cards will no longer provide restaurant credits.)
Here’s the menu:
All the tables were full. The entire terminal was a ghost town around two o’clock in the afternoon, but everyone with a Priority Pass was here for free food. (Un)Fortunately there were a couple of seat yourself spots at the bar.
I’m not quite sure whatever possessed me but I ordered a lobster roll. There are several reasons why airport food is almost always bad. Restaurants have to bring everything in through security at off hours; there are limits on what gets brought in; space is limited and there’s often no room for specialized equipment; knives are tethered to a wall or equipment; an airport may not permit gas ovens, so everything has to get re-created using electric — to name just a few things.
I suppose I thought I’m in Boston (and didn’t have a chance to stop at Neptune Oyster) and I have $28 from Priority Pass to blow.
In general there were two things wrong with it:
- It was on a toasted hot dog bun, like you buy in a package at a grocery store
- The lobster meat tasted like it had been frozen and defrosted but still retained water from the freezing. It was chewy and generally tasteless.
I’m sure the turkey club would have been just fine.