My dog ate my homework, I have a secret identity and had to fight crime, I was surfing the crimson wave.

Those classic excuses weren’t nearly creative enough for a Tampa airport TSA employee running late for work. But if you’re going to go all out with your excuse, you’d best do it right. That’s where the 34 year old woman blew it, and she’s now facing charges for filing a false police report.

She was arrested on Monday after a two week investigation following her claim that she “fought off a knife-wielding burglar outside her parents home.”

Her heroic story proved to be entirely fake and was concocted to help the Winter Haven woman “avoid repercussions for excessive tardiness at work,” the sheriff’s office said in an April 19 news release.

…[On] yet another morning when the suspect was late for work.. (the suspect) told her supervisor she was late because while she was at her parents’ home, a man armed with a knife attempted to burglarize her parents’ vehicle,” the sheriff’s office said. “(She) told her supervisor she drew her agency issued weapon and pointed it at the alleged suspect causing him to flee.”

Her supervisor insisted on a police report, so she fabricated one – listing contact information for an officer who turned out to be “on vacation and out of the country at the date and time listed on the fake report.”

Should’ve stuck with my TSA screening dog ate my latex gloves.

(HT: Robert G)