In the aftermath of the death of a rabbit expected to become the world’s largest in the hands of United Airlines (bred by a former Playboy Bunny to be sold to a celebrity), United has decided to try to streamline its messaging to customers.
Commercials for Broadway shows in the 1980s usually had audience members interviewed after the show all declaring how amazing the performance was. You had to rush out and see it, because it was truly incredible.
Saturday Night Live parodied this form in a famous 1986 skit advertising The Amazing Alexander. You see, it was a hypnotist’s show. And everyone, one by one, came out of the show and was interviewed. They each recited, “It was much better than Cats! I’m going to see it again and again!” It was offered precisely and in the same dead pan, no matter who you talked to.
United Airlines appears to have hired Amazing Alexander to coach employees on how to deal with the dead rabbit. The inimitable Brian Sumers shares the script that United is asking employees to parrot to customers:
I love the ‘pre-approved responses’ that should be ‘used as a reactive response.’ And that United is telling its employees to be saddened on command.
It could be worse of course, Oscar Munoz could apologize that the rabbit had to be re-accommodated.