A woman on board American Airlines flight 2962 from Charlotte to Des Moines says she was told she had to cover up while breastfeeding her 5 month old daughter as ‘common courtesy’ when men or children are around.
The mom explains that he daughter is happy breastfeeding as long as her head is not covered. When she did that on this flight, she was tapped on her shoulder and told that men and children were around, and this wasn’t acceptable.
But, she says, it’s not as if her nipple was showing – less of her breast, even, than if she were wearing a going out top and certainly less than a swimsuit on the beach. And here she was feeding her daughter.
Mid-flight, a flight attendant tapped my shoulder. She said that I “needed to cover up” because “there were men and children around.” My daughter was fully latched and had been the entire flight, so there was no nipple or even areola showing. The top of my breast was showing, but…I mean, I used to show more cleavage on a weekend night out. Swimsuits show more.
I explained, of course, that my daughter won’t eat or sleep while covered, and was told this didn’t matter. I still needed to cover up. When I asked if this was an American Airlines policy, I was told it was “common courtesy.” That’s the phrase this woman kept repeating. “Common courtesy.”
It was the same phrase two other flight attendants repeated later on when I asked them about it.
When the woman complied and covered her baby, she woke up and “cried for the final 45 minutes of the flight.” Common courtesy, it seems to me, is that when a baby is happy on an airplane you let ride whatever is making them happy! Surely the other passengers would have been better off if the mom had continued breastfeeding.
And the comment about “men and children” upset the mom most, shaming her for caring for her baby. The crewmember (and parent that she was told complained) were putting their preferences over her and her baby’s needs.
Hey, @AmericanAir, nursing mother here. Can you tell me why, while I breastfed my infant yesterday on flight AA2962 from Des Moines to Charlotte, I was told by 3 flight attendants that it was “common courtesy to cover up when men and children are around”?
— Sarah.Jean (@SarahJean133579) July 12, 2023
American responded, asking the woman to take it to direct message (brands like to keep negative stories out of public view) and here was the carrier’s response:
And here was the airline’s written response:
Comment
by u/letmefeedmybaby from discussion American Airlines: “it’s common courtesy to cover up when men and children are around”
in breastfeeding
It clearly is not airline policy to require a woman to ‘cover up’ while breastfeeding. That was the instruction from a flight attendant, taking it on their own initiative. There’s very little service training, and very little recurrent training, that cabin crew go through and you often see crew (1) not performing the service that they’re supposed to, while (2) freelancing their own sense of right and wrong in the cabin.
The airline’s agents, for instance, are asked to interpret the carrier’s dress policy on their own and with little guidance. Last year they insisted a former Miss America cover up in order to fly and when masks were required on board a passenger was kicked off for an F-cancer mask. In the latter case the airline apologized, but the plain language of their dress code seemed to suggest they’d been right to do so. It’s all up to interpretation.
When issues are brought to the attention of the airline there’s little sense for what actually needs to be routed to someone in authority to write a real response versus simply offering low cost front line cut-and-paste which seems to be what we’re getting here.
(HT: Paddle Your Own Kanoo)
I saw a woman whip out a tit and stick her kid on it in the Delta Sky Club in Boston at a table right in the middle of the club (the small one behind TSA). Given the messages on her shirt, her slovenly appearance and Wellesley faculty bag tag, it was obvious that her doing this was meant to make a statement. Additionally, this “child” had to have been at least 4 yrs old.
It was the most repulsive thing I’ve ever seen in a an airport lounge and my body responded with an involuntary but very audible gag reflex.
There’s a time and place for feeding a baby and a place to make a statement. There are lactation booths for both.
American Airlines again. Children will not care about breastfeeding and gentlemen will not look in that direction. However, causing the baby to get upset and cry disturbs many more people. Shame on that cabin crew.
Call me old fashioned but I don’t think you should expose your breast and feed a kid on it in a public space. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. I’ve had the unfortunate pleasure of sitting next a woman who decided that was appropriate. It was very uncomfortable.
Likewise, just because you can travel as a single parent with 3 of your kids doesn’t mean you should.
Airlines need to grow some balls and stop allowing families or parents with kids to abuse privileges.
I’m with the passenger in this one. There’s no policy to tell women.to cover up when breastfeeding. Just another American being an American, it’s a boob, get over it.
@FNT Delta Diamond – OK, you are old-fashioned.
It is sad that our so called ‘civil’ society is so divided on what was once taught at an early age…to respect others around you regardless of your convictions. This is what is supposed to control our speech, actions, appearance and behavior in general when we are among others. The ‘civil society’, however has crumbled to leave us with a far inferior personal rights conflict each and every time someone violates this principle. When I was a child, my parents taught me this..and we taught this to our children who are now adults. But, a brief observation of our current society is filled with profanity laced screeds about how ‘my rights’ were violated. It is now common for people to drop the “F” bomb throughout their entire dinner conversation in a quiet fine dining restaurant let alone the nicer, but everyday dining establishments. So, why not do that on board an aircraft. Why not wear clothing with the “F” bomb? Why not let your music play or your movie without headphones. Why not bump into people without saying excuse me or worse blame them and drop the “F” bomb more. Why not dress any way you want…after all we are free. Somehow I think the conversation would be far different if a man were to try and board a plane in a tiny bikini. The suggestion that ‘going out’ clothing or beach clothing reveals more says more about how civil society has crumbled….accepting as normal more and more of what was once freedom most set aside in public settings. It is out of respect for others that we should consider others in public places. This doesn’t mean we will all agree, but the Biblical principle here works to produce harmony whereas all we see today is bad behavior and poor excuses for it. Most of the time, a simple gesture out of respect is all that is needed.
Women have breasts to feed their children. It’s biology. Breastfeeding is not a lewd, or immoral act. The CDC recommends that all children be exclusively breastfed through 6 months of age. All fifty states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands have laws that specifically allow women to breastfeed in any public or private location. Thirty-one states, the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws.
In fact, breastfeeding women commonly are discrete as a courtesy to others. It literally is a common courtesy. Idk if it should be a policy, but put me squarely in the camp that breastfeeding women should cover up in public.
Separately, I eagerly look forward to the complaints from women about men “leering” at them while breastfeeding on flying metal tubes in close quarters.
So, our society, which is pretty much browbeating biological women for being uncomfortable when fully equipped biological males enter the domain which is rightly a Women’s only locker/changing room and shower,… is flabbergasted that a woman is breast feeding their newborn on an airplane.
The irony is inescapable.
@Mark Rascio — and yet, we do live in a free society, and can do all those things.
when it comes to breastfeeding, small babies often can’t wait with feeding. In fact, it’s not good for them to go hungry for too long. Lavatories on planes are tiny and disgusting — and it would not be safe for mothers to be there for a long time, plus then the lavatory is occupied.
Frankly no normal person who doesn’t have some weird sexual hangup would care about a breast-feeding woman. If you don’t like to see it, look at something else. We are all sharing this planet somehow but if you don’t like how another person is dressed, that’s your problem.
Frankly I often see people poorly dressed — as in, without any taste or class. I’m not the fashion police, so I just shrug and read my book or watch my iPad. I’ve got better things to do than to tell other people how “modest” they should be in public.
FNT – I don’t understand the comment on the single parent with three kids – are you saying single parents and kids should be banned from flying?
Quite common in most parts of the world and part of life. America’s uptight puritanical roots rearing their ugly head here.
Lets leave the breastfeeding “controversy” out of it for a moment.
Common courtesy is a request and not a requirement. The FA here appears to be “ordering without actually ordering”.
@Anthony:
Just because a parent or parents can fly with kids doesn’t mean they should. Anyone who is a frequent traveler can recount countless incidents of a family that really shouldn’t have been flying due to uncontrollable kids or an inability for the single parent to handle the number of accompanying kids.
There are way too many parents out there abusing privileges and generosities. Like early boarding.
When I was a kid, my parents didn’t take me on a plane until I could actually travel without being a burden or an inconvenience to others.
It’s no different than severely disabled or obese passengers. If you can’t actually walk down the aisle of the plane or sit in a seat without infringing upon the seat of others then maybe you shouldn’t be flying.
So, for the sake of conversation, what is the different between a woman exposing her breast to breastfeed and exposing her breast just because? Seems like we are sexualizing a breast in one instance and not another, which makes it a very arbitrary decision based on the opinion of the person passing judgement.
Every individual has a different level of comfort with how much “skin” and what kind of “skin” is socially acceptable to expose in public. Some of that is based on religion, some of it on person hang-up and some of it about other things. Folks on here argued voraciously that it was okay for someone to watch porn on a flight, but exposing a boob to feed a screaming baby up is a problem.
I just don’t get people somedays.
I was on South West Sunday a woman preloaded, picked a seat up front and flopped a tit out. Hobby has multiple breast feeding places to use, but she choose to do it in the front of the plane while the other 170 us came on
AA used the word mothers in that letter. Is that allowed? I thought it was supposed to be ‘people who have given birth.’
I seriously don’t get people. It’s a normal bodily function, get over it. Like the people who keep complaining about me peeing and pooping with the lavatory door open. I have claustrophobia and they are normal and necessary bodily functions. If you don’t like it then don’t stare and mind your own business.
FNT Delta Diamond Are you for real? The price of a ticket buys anyone the privilege to travel. Single parent with 3 kids or business person. That parent with the 3 kids may be flying to a funeral, saying goodbye to a loved one for the last time for all you know. But by all means, since their mere presence annoys you, they should not have the ‘privilege’ to do so. What elitism. I assure you that single parent with the little kids dreads flying just as much if not more as you do, but alas, this is the modern world. If you want a pristine travel experience then charter a flight.
@Bob Spoons: When you pee and poop with the door open to an aircraft lavatory, flight attendants are concerned that a roller-coaster ride in the aircraft due to clear-air turbulence may toss you off the throne, through the open door and out of the restroom with your body coming to rest adjacent to the passenger aisle or flight deck door.
Remember please that American Airlines is “Caring for People on Life’s Journey”.
Too much
Baby cries if head covered? Sounds like this mom has some issues already. What does she do in winter? If raining?
It’s a natural bodily function?
So is peeing and pooping but I don’t just stand up and let loose in the aisle. Unless I’m on an Air India flight.
Yes, it’s a common courtesy to not breast-feed on a flight. Just like it’s a common courtesy to not put bare feet up on a tray table, or fart, or drape your hair back over the headrest, or use the speaker during conversations on your cell phone. But we live in a narcissistic time, and everybody wants the attention.
The distress this episode has caused comes as a surprise (to me)
Which is preferable, a hungry baby wailing its lungs out,… or doing what is natural for a newborn? Quietly.
Look out the window, read a book, watch the in flight entertainment, etc.
Never a good idea to gaze upon any one person for more than a fleeting moment, anyway, … breast exposed or not.
“When in doubt, Whip it out!” An old adage I’ll remember the next time my privates itch on a flight or in an airport club.
@ David Stone — Go back to watching FoxNews. Nothing to comment on here.
@WilleyDog what kind of monster advocates starving babies because breastfeeding makes them uncomfortable. Young babies need to eat often. It is imperative for their health.
I’d much rather glimpse some boob than listen to a baby upset for 45 minutes.
Mom of 4 breastfed babies who *gasp* has flown with them. I’ve had babies who I could use a cover and others who will scream if anything dare touch their face. I breastfed more on flights than I would in the airport because of the air pressure changes. Are there some moms that are daring people to say something? Sure. Vast majority of us are just trying to keep our babies fed and happy. Also fun fact 3/4 of my kids completely refused bottles after 2 months old. If you haven’t experienced a baby who is anti cover and anti bottle, I can assure you it’s real.
When the Pothole Pete’s are able to lactate and ovulate, the “woman” will be a thing of history.
Nothing wrong with breast feeding. Seen plenty of women do it while wearing a wrap or shawl across themselves for modesty.
The problem here is apparently she had this baby clinging to her for some time and the excuse that the baby couldn’t feed or sleep if anything touched the head. That is her problem. Might want to start desentizing that baby soon. The world doesn’t revolve around that one kid.
@patti
and the world certainly does not revolve around people with chips on their shoulders that think they are the shit just because they are flying once a year to orlando or cancun
I feel bad for the unfortunate man who accidentally glances her direction and then spends the rest of the flight attached to an Air Marshal and then the next week splashed all over social media for being a perv.
Doug
READ it again
Flying from Des Moines to Charlotte.
Flight time 2 hrs 20 min.
Admits she had been feeding the baby from the start How many babies need to feed for 2 hrs, 20 minutes?
Admits the baby “woke up” when she covered herself so it wasn’t even necessarily feeding.
Does she keep that baby attached all the time so she doesn’t have to deal with it?
Again, how many babies need to be fed continuously for 2 hrs,20 minutes
.
The world also doesn’t revolution around women who don’t want to be bothered to deal with their infant.
@patti
I assume and hope you never had children
Doug
Get off your jump to conclusions mat.
Mine grown and never need feeding continously for 2 hrs and 30 minutes.
There*
Many places have, as a matter of law, that women can breastfeed anywhere they want, anyhow.
The lady should file a discrimination report and also sue AA.
Some here are missing that breastfeeding mid flight helps the baby deal with the changing cabin pressure in the same way chewing gum does for the rest of us. However, babies are obviously much more sensitive than adults are, so the act is that much more important.
Why are we assuming that the passenger is a woman? We don’t know that for sure and we shouldn’t speculate.
@CHRIS…Thats correct and BTW, aren’t we supposed to be using the term “chest feeding”? The CDC thinks so.
Perhaps not flying with a baby that small is the better solution? Why submit the infant to the torture of modern air travel today?
I didn’t start flying until my sons were of school age so I didn’t have to worry about breastfeeding on a plane. I don’t feel that a woman should be shamed for breastfeeding. I think it’s a good thing. In my case if my baby was comfortable with me laying a receiving blanket over us that would have been my choice in public. I breastfed at home. A good alternative is to pump and take the milk with you. I have heard of breast milk being thrown out though. If my kids saw a woman breastfeeding I would tell them she was feeding her baby. I would answer their questions and be truthful and go on our way. People don’t give kids enough credit. They can handle more than we think. If an adult finds breastfeeding distasteful turn your head. You can’t unsee it but you don’t have to keep looking.
AA corporate responded appropriately. What did she expect them to do?
@mr Spoons… Sir if you would have been on my flight and I saw you taking a crap of the door open I would politely slam it shut so the other passengers and myself wouldn’t have to smell the funk you create… seriously you need to take some kind of medication to get over your paranoia. And as for anybody, thinking that this woman annoyed or irritated you but you surely don’t mind if a bikini topped woman with a short skirt shows up aboard your flight??? Or if other ladies are complaining about it, you wear a button up blouse all the way up to your neck when flying? Or do you show a little cleavage?… Seriously, people need to get over themselves.
Two thoughts:
The mother could have taken her baby into a restroom and breastfed the infant there. Although the squalling baby was a greater distraction than the breastfeeding mother, that woman felt her baby’s needs were more important than the sensibilities of other passengers. A thoughtful FA would have suggested feeding the infant in the restroom.
What will passengers witness when trans women decide to chest feed their infants? Readers should be aware that the CDC have just issued guidelines on this matter. If I’m on a plane when such a parent decides to chest feed his baby, I fervently hope a FA will suggest he go to the restroom.
@James
Sue AA for what? In what way had AA violated its rules of carriage?
If exposed breasts are ok for a white house pride function, it’s ok for air travel.
If a woman wants to breastfeed or wear skimpy, but not lewd, clothing in public, then that is her prerogative. However, she needs to realize that if she is in public, then members of the public may see her. If members of the public see her, including men, then she cannot legitimately complain that others notice her.
(I am addressing women in this context, because it is quite rare that a man will complain about a woman looking at him in public.)