Comments

1. Being the son of immigrants from Iran, now happily living in Los Angeles, I applaud your decision.

   The religion is irrelevant. They may be Jewish, Christian, Muslim, whatever. IMO, Iran is not a safe environment for any female.

2. Gary, I respect you for your decision.

3. I think you did the right think, but you mayby could have asked if her daughter came back later with someone else. Such questions could have caused some answers wich might helped you with choosing.

4. Good decision and thanks for sharing the situation with us.

5. Gary I also respect and applaud your decision. I wish there was more that could be done. Did you tell the client why? I would be keen to know her response (perhaps even contact local authorities in her area to see if there is anything they can do if she says it is what we fear it is).

6. Gary, You have every right to turn down request that make you feel uncomfortable.

   I also applaud your decision in sticking with your gut instinct.

7. I’m sorry but you’ve made a lot of assumptions only because the woman is from Iran. You automatically assume that the young girl would be subjected to female genital mutilation – a practice which is only practiced by a small group of Arab and Kurdish Sunni Iranians in a predominantly Persian and Shiite nation.

   If the woman were going to Japan and making the same arrangments would you think the same things? Would you fear that you would be aiding in a trip that would lead to child pornography – a problem that is more prevalent in Japan than female genital mutilation in Iran?

   You need to examine your inner biases!

8. @Dfyant I did tell the client my reason, I have not heard back.

   @Roxanne the whole point of this post is that I’ve been spending the morning examining my biases and struggling to figure out the right thing to do, and what I’m comfortable with. I didn’t make my judgment ‘just because the woman is from Iran’ but rather ‘just because she wants a one-way ticket to Iran for her 8 year old daughter’. So in sharing this story I’m exposing myself and my inner thinking to the world. I decided that I just wasn’t comfortable assisting with a one-way award to send an 8 year old girl to Iran, and it isn’t just about female genital mutilation that was an example of one of the many conceivable scenarios, it’s in general about the idea that I didn’t want to participate in sending a young girl one-way to a society that subjugates women. It won’t stop them from making the trip I’d imagine but it’s precisely because I do not know, and cannot know, the truth of the matter (regardless of what I’m told), and that I’d always be wondering and it would nag at me, that I didn’t think I could participate.

9. As a landlord, I have found when a tenant’s application seems odd it’s bad for my business.

   Trust your sixth sense. Turn down the woman’s request.

10. I believe that when dealing with a problem, there are three outcomes. You can (1) solve it, (2) move it or (3) make it worse.

    If you define the problem as oppression of women by some extreme regimes, then you can’t personally solve it. You could make it worse, at least for that child, by finding the tickets. Or, you can move it (the mother has to find a different way of arranging the flights).

    That’s the best you can do.

    I sense that you’d like to find a way to solve it (find out the truth of the situation, prevent a scenario you find offensive, but that isn’t within your realm of control.

    I’m guessing that the left over feelings come from doing the best you can, but suspecting that it isn’t enough for that child.

    All that said, I applaud your decision, and would do the same.

11. Kudos to you. And what Steve K said is spot on. Sometimes we can only do our best and it makes us uncomfortable that it’s not enough.

12. Good call Gary.
    When you let others into the inner workings of your mind, you expose yourself to negative comments from ‘holier than thou’ types. I would ignore them and stick with my inner voice.

13. I think that all the posters above are blinded by their prejudices of what constitutes Iranian society.

    It is fair to assume that the Iranian government is run by Islamic fanatics. However, as in all oppressed societies, the people vary from their government. Furthermore, you are all assuming that only an Iranian mother has the heart to actively take actions which would result in the oppression of her child.

    Shame on all of you for thinking the worst possible scenario!

14. Just a question, but is it even legal for an American to facilitate business transactions with the Iranian government? Typically award redemptions involve the paying of govement taxes even on free tickets.

    Perhaps this could be a loophole to remove the decision from a determination based on morality.

15. I, for one, think you made the right decision in this case. Had the woman been more forthcoming with details – as in sharing the purpose of the young girl’s one way itinerary – then perhaps you would not have felt the negative vibe that you did. However, you, as a service provider, certainly have the final say. I do hope you let her know of your final decision not to book the itinerary and that you were as open to herabout the reasons…as blunt as you have stated here in your blog.

16. A lot of prejudice against Iran comes through in your post. Genital mutilation, really? That’s why you did this?

    ‘Crowdsourcing’ the answer in the US is going to get you a lot of agreement because the broad public has a very negative view of Iran (and of Islam). I have no knowledge of the individual situation nor of what’s going on in Iran etc.

    You made a decision based on the information available to you, to turn down the client. That’s perfectly reasonable. But you should really think about if – or why – you’re using this post to help you get comfortable with a decision that was made in part due to strong prejudices against that country.

    I suggest withdrawing this blog post.

17. Going to Iran just makes this worse — any parent booking an international RT when the child is on a OW should flag a concern!

    Gary, the only difference in how I would handle it is that I probably wouldn’t post about it. You really don’t have to justify your decision to anyone. Just hang a sign on your office wall that says ‘we reserve the right to refuse service for any reason!’

18. That’s a tough call. As someone else noted, if your gut feeling is negative, trust your gut in something like this. Could you be wrong? Sure. But in some situations you just don’t have enough info to make a perfect decision and that’s where instinct comes in. I also tend to agree with hobo13 about a RT parent and OW child – not that it can’t be, or perhaps usually is, perfectly innocent…but it could be a red flag.

19. Great decision!

20. For summer vacation travel, it is rather ordinary for those who are immigrants from various parts of Asia (Iran included) to get a one-way ticket for their child in conjunction with their own travel there who will then come back with the other parent and/or a grandparent as the parent who flies there has to return earlier for work and/or other obligations.

    Female genital mutilation in Iran? Iran isn’t Africa, where FGM has greater prevalence and is done by some Christians, animists and Muslims. Nothing religious about the practice anywhere.

21. By the way, under Iranian law, the father of the child has greater rights for family reunification than the mother. Even if the mother were to abduct her child to Iran without the consent of a custodial father, the father would be in a better legal position than if the child’s mother were Swedish and were to run off with the child to Sweden without the custodial father’s consent.

22. After reading that your were willing to lie in order to get a lower hotel rate (http://viewfromthewing.com/2011/02/06/how-to-get-the-best-hotel-deals/) who knew that ethics were part of your thought process?

23. You done good. And NEVER let the bleating of self-righteous fools who are either ignorant of reality or choose to deny it stop you from doing the right thing.

24. Gary, I respected your decision. IMHO, if we are not comfortable with doing any particular thing in our mind, then we should not do this at all regardless of the reason. However, there are people who had booked one way ticket to Asia for their kid, and then their relative(s) books the other ticket to come back to the state…

25. Gary,

    I read your blog on a regular basis (religiously if I may say so). However, some of your comments are uninformed.

    As a Muslim Shiite (yes, so you know a lot of my co-religionists who are also miles obsessed), I shared your post with my wife. And trust me, she is not subjugated and as a working professional is quite outspoken. While we both agree with you that it does raise red flags, and you may be right for this individual case, you are also making a couple of erroneous statements.

    The first one is that contrary to public perception, women have more rights in Iran than countries like Saudi Arabia or Kuwait. Unlike those countries, they can drive, attend college, become professors, doctors or lawyers, be elected member of parliament,..etc. Yes, the present regime is extremist and compared to the West, women rights have ways to go. But would you have made the same decision if the destination would gave been Saudi Arabia, Kuwait or China?

    Also, while female genital mutilation happens in some Muslim African societies (Egypt, Kenya,…etc), it does not happen in Iran and it is actually not a religious practice but purely tribal/cultural.

    Anyway, I don’t want to get into a political and religious argument but suffice to say, you acted as per your conscience and that’s fine.

26. You made the right move. The landlord’s comment above is spot on.

    When I had a decent-sized business years ago, I found that my gut was a very important decision-making aid. It evolved for a reason, and you should trust it.

27. Gary,
    Although I’ve only met you once and heard you speak a couple of times at the last ChicagoDO, I think you made the right decision and I think that it’s consistent with my perception that you are a very rational, thoughtful person. There are probably a number of countries you might have on your “no-fly” list where you would not feel comfortable booking the ticket. Each of us has a moral compass and our gut feel about things like this is usually right.

28. As a divorced parent: it is actually pretty normal to have one parent travelling on a roundtrip to drop off a kid travelling on a oneway. Very likely the dad is making similar arrangements to return the kid at the end of the summer. If there weren’t one way awards it would likely be a request for a roundtrip with the mom returning in a week and the kid returning in a few months. Also the mom will have to have a notarized travel authorization letter from the dad in order to travel internationally with the kid. But logic shouldn’t trump your gut, so if you don’t feel right about it, something is probably off.

29. If anything you are showing bias toward Iran by referring to them as Islamic and attributing their crimes against humanity to their society as a whole when the dictatorial regime holding their culture hostage is more of a bizarre cult using a thinly veiled guise of religion to justify their brutal means of maintaining military rule and suppressing any sort of popular tradition consistent with the history of islam or persia which could accurately still be deemed a society. Sure, you can’t know whether the child could be left in Iran or will return on another ticket, but danger does not have to imminent to be real. Would you give someone directions to walk across a mine field just because you cannot assume they will step on a mine and because assuming they would step on a mine would be judging their culture? The political situation in Iran is basically a minefield and you should not send a child into it, even some will cross it unscathed. Also, forget genital mutilation, what about the other facts of denying the girl an education and making her walk around all day in some mask that did not exist in islamic culture until a bunch of thugs with guns started tell people it did 30 years ago? What about the fact that if she grows up there, the government will shoot her through the eye if she attends a public rally advertised on facebook? Some aspects of culture are relative, like cricket vs. baseball or soccer/football vs. american football. This is not relative.

30. Permit me to observe how much other information you lack.

    Do you/should you feel uneasy booking a first class round trip ticket for a fifty year old white seeming male to Thailand? After all, it might be for sexual tourism and pedophilia.

    Do you/should you feel uneasy booking a coach round trip for a young woman to Colombia or Peru? She might be a more or less witting drug mule.

    Do you/should you feel uneasy booking a one way ticket for a child from any developing country to a developed one? He or she could be a child sold for illegal adoption.

    Do you feel/should you feel uneasy booking a one way ticket for any teenage girl from Eastern Europe to a richer country? It could be a prostitution racket.

    Do you/should you feel uneasy booking one way tickets to Israel for a family? They could be would be colonialists aiming to steal Palestinian land?

    Would you/should you feel uneasy booking a one way ticket from the United states to India for a very young Indian sounding woman? It could be an arranged marriage.

    What about a ticket for a young woman at the request of the Office of the Italian Prime Minister? What about a ticket for a young man at the request of the Vatican?

    What bothers me is the particularity of Iran.

    The place, like most places on Earth, needs a change of management. Of course the same could have been said of the United States until quite recently or, some would say, currently.

    Iran clearly needs change in its civil society. The same thing could be said of South Africa not so long ago, the rest of Africa today, India, Israel, France, Italy or, if you are atheist or a believer in human rights and a state of law, the United States of America. Not to mention the Catholic Church.

    I would By all means attempt to be ethical. But do ask yourself if you are thinking the worst of some places and the best of others. My first thought was she was going to stay with her grandmother.

31. Robert,

    Would you/should you feel uneasy booking a one-way ticket for an 8-year jewish girl to Germany in 1936? A lot of other places on earth needed a change of management at the same time, so it would be wrong to single anyone out right?

32. I believe a mother who is intelligent enough to read your blog and know about your service, AND who has collected so many miles by flying, credit card, whatever, AND is living in the US, would put her daughter in harm’s way (like what, FGM?). It’s just pure bias. After all, the situation for women in Iran is no worse than many Arab nations in the region. Next time, please refuse to book a oneway ticket for any American girl who wants to fly back from Europe to the US, because by doing so you essentially kill her chance to be a female president/PM/Chancellor.

33. Alright people. As an Iranian-American, who has dealt with this kind of shit as a kid between two divorced parents, this is totally a strange request and very fishy. I would have also turned it down.

34. Great, thought provoking comments.

    I would have done the same.

    Makes me wonder how much American bias/misinformation is in the comments and how much different the comments would be on a more international blog.

    After reading The Pat Tillman Story by John Krakauer, I just wonder how often we are blatantly lied to by our government, and what information really is true.

    Krakauer has lots of documentation and footnotes, and it is plain scary what was released as the truth.

35. Curious – what is the easiest way from the States to Iran on points? Gulf Air or Etihad? LH through FRA?

    Despite the current sanctions, the Cuba-like travel restrictions don’t apply, do they?

36. As someone with Iranian-American relatives and friends, whether divorced or not or children of divorced parents or not, this kind of request from a parent or couple of means would seem ordinary enough given my own family travel history. If it was for during the school year at non-vacation times of the year, then I would probably wonder more about the situation. Personally, everyone ought to have a right to choose with whom to do business (or not) with whomever they feel comfortable or not, absent being a regulated business that is hindered in part from doing so, in so far as there is no violation of law.

    I have traveled with my minor relatives without the other custodial parent many times in such a manner and have never had a substantial problem, (“authorization” letter or not) absent dealing with someone who assumed the worst for no good reason. The irony of ironies is that most of the prejudice applied in such situations comes from those of the same ethnic background as the custodial parent, particularly when a custodial father is involved and doing so entirely lawfully.

37. ….I would have made the same call.

38. NYBanker, via IST if TK’s flight schedule works out.

39. MarcInHouston,

    Gary asked about the ethics of the matter. I am suggesting that he reflect upon the possible prejudices that he might be bringing to the table as he sets out to cast the net. And that would be to the end of casting the net as widely as is reasonably possible.

    It is up to him to decide whether that involves, for example, a blanket ban on children on oneway tickets, a blanket ban on children on oneway tickets to international destinations, a blanket ban on children on oneway tickets to countries with weak child law, a blanket ban on children on oneway tickets to the Middle East and Southern Asia, a blanket ban on children on oneway tickets to countries with Islamic populations, a blanket ban on children on oneway tickets to Iran, or a blanket ban on children on oneway tickets whenever “his spider sense tingles”.

    A well-thought out, justifiable, explicitly stated policy would go a long way to addressing the suspicion that political agendas and well-rooted prejudices are merely finding another domain in which to covertly exercise their corrosive influence to the end of further dividing us from one another on the road to the next bombing campaign.

    A celebrated American said that travel is the enemy of prejudice. I would strive to keep travel from being further cluttered by prejudice and political agendas.

40. This here will be my last post for the blog entry, but is there any idea of how the woman making the award booking request found out about the booking service? I am curious if there is any chance that the woman who made the request for the award booking will be posting here too.

    When it comes to “doing business with” transactions involving countries like Iran, North Korea, Cuba and any other countries the US has blacklisted in some form or another, a hesitation to want to facilitate travel to such places may be a rather natural risk-mitigation strategy when investing further time to know what is and is not legally allowed and under what conditions may not be worth it for an otherwise busy party, including those making award travel bookings.

41. Robert:

    if you have such insight into Gary’s business, perhaps you should go into competition against him.

42. You made a decision and you have to live with the consequences.

    One of which is that I will never use your service and will let my friends and family know they should avoid your service.

    If you are so sure in your thinking you now have a MORAL obligation to report this to the authorities and to child protective services.

    Only a coward would say “I’m so concerned by this request that I’m no going to help a mother send her child to Iran…but I’m not concerned enough to actually pick up a phone and try to protect the child.”

    If you are GENUINELY afraid for this girl…you HAVE to act.

    My guess is that you won’t report this to anyone because deep down you know what you did was wrong.

43. toomanybooks,

    Gary begins the thread with this question: “Are there some award trips that I just shouldn’t book for clients on moral grounds?” I offered an answer. How that constitutes grounds for your comment is unclear. If you would like to moderate a blog treating the posed question, you are of course free to set one up and do so.

44. Gary – I applaud your decision.

45. Gary – I think you made an interesting post, and the right decision. Chances are, the girl is travelling with her mom to visit her grandparents/dad/other loving relatives for the summer and is going to come back in time for school. Lots of my friends have been doing exactly that in the last couple of weeks: buying return tickets for themselves to Europe and one-way (or return for August) for the kids. But as a service provider, can you know for sure its legit? Bottom line is, you cannot. In fact, I think it would be right to refuse to do it for rt adult/ow kid for any country. What if that’s just child abduction? Yes, its a tiny chance – 1% or so. But do you want to chance it? Definitely not.

46. I found the above discussion fascinating.
    Thank you, Gary, for sharing the topic openly with us. Shining a light on the ethical dilemmas we all face allows us a more thorough understanding of our biases and assumptions–and allows us to educate ourselves.

47. All of us see the world through our own experience, have prejudices in some areas and lack information in others. Your decision is no big deal either way. Like you said, you’re not a public utility, you are free to decline her business, and the woman is free to make other arrangements.

    Having spent the last 7 years dealing with an international divorce (ex stayed in her native Germany with the kids), the one-way ticket, even to Iran, would not have triggered any alarm for me.

48. I think you have every right to turn down a request because it I’d your business. But it is unfortunate that you associate Iran (and I am not from there) with female genital mutilation which Is common in some African countries and not Iran. Additionally there are more cases of moms running away with their kids in japan than any other country from the US. It might have helped to research the issue. So do you have a right to say no – Absolutely. Was the reason you said no correct – I don’t think so because it was based on biases that were not backed by research

49. Good call.

50. @Robert You gave away your own internal bias with one of your questions:
    “Do you/should you feel uneasy booking one way tickets to Israel for a family? They could be would be colonialists aiming to steal Palestinian land?”

    @Gary: I think you may have incurred a net gain of customers over this one. Always do what you know is right.

51. Jeff,

    For me to have an opinion for or against arranged marriage, to pick an example among others, is not another “internal bias? The question is rather that of being aware that one’s perspective is a perspective, reflecting upon that perspective, comparing it to other possible perspectives, weighing its relative merits, assuming responsibility for it should it be the best perspective on offer, and consequently reasonably applying it and reasonably defending it. For you to pick out and suggest that Israeli colonialisation is my only concern, is a testament to nothing more and nothing less than your true interest. Whereas my interests, as evident in the post, are many and diverse.

52. Gary, I definitely agree that if a request makes you feel uncomfortable, you shouldn’t do it. But based on the little you described, I don’t think the request would have raised any red flags to me. I guess the only Iranians I know are from the Westernized/modern segment of society, and it would not occur to me that the mere act of sending a child to Iran, even permanently, would be putting the child in harm’s way. Then again, I didn’t see the full correspondence between you and the mother, so I don’t know if there’s something else about it that makes it look fishy. As others have mentioned, gut feelings are important.

53. Gary, it’s not completely implausible that your would-be client might even be acting under duress and might herself be thankful if you were to quietly but quickly turn over her information to the State department, FBI, homeland security, child protective services, etc.

    As for the scenario of the mother genuinely intending to abduct the child to Iran, I doubt the argument that it couldn’t be child abduction against the father’s wishes because, in Iran, foreign fathers supposedly have more rights in these matters citizen women, because I wonder if this applies in practice to men who doubt the safety of traveling to Iran to exercise these rights or cases where the mother’s family is politically well connected.

    If you announced publicly that you had turned over this information to government agencies, I don’t think it would discourage me from doing business with you in the future (although I haven’t so far), and I also think you’d be morally justified in doing so secretly.

54. Wow your actions to ask the public for this show some pretty sad biases..

    Let me first start by saying that you indeed are not a public utility and are a private citizen, therefore I FULLY agree that you have the absolute right to accept or reject whatever request comes your way.

    As has been stated before, that the mother has enough knowledge and passion to collect miles and want to use them intelligently would imply to me that she isn’t likely to do something as ignorant and cruel as this, let alone alert anyone else to her intentions. One would need to be literate and compatible with the modern complexities of financial life and travel. Paying for the actual ticket would probably be a much safer bet to keep this on the down low, LOL!

    Next, if a mother so chooses to move her child to her homeland – and in a frugal way haha – for the summer or for her whole childhood, what is wrong with that? A parent the worldover regardless of race or nationality is generally entrusted to care for and make decisions for their minor child, and I believe that is ethically correct until they are PROVEN of any wrongdoing. If a Ukrainian mom wants to fly her 8 yr old girl from LA to live with or visit her father or extended family in Kiev I see no issue with that. Yes there have been cases of female forced prostitution and slavery in Eastern Europe but that isn’t going to bias my initial opinion, especially if she’s asking a fella to give her advice on using her miles haha.

    If anything your public soul-searching displayed in this post indicated a sense of guilt (rightly-so in my opinion) which you are seeking to overcome…

    Yes, I also believe your position judges both Iranian culture and Islam quite heavily. It implies some form of extreme ignorance where you’d believe that a random Iranian WOMAN would use frequent flier miles to dump her daughter in some dark pit to PURPOSELY have her “subjugated”. Leave alone religion, you are assuming she is able to internally reconcile an international multi-leg flight plus the use of accumulated miles to have her daughter be miserable – BECAUSE SHE IS IRANIAN. Might as well do it frugally right?
    And to assume that Islam has anything to do with this… Iran is not Islam and Islam is not Iran…having 1.4+ billion followers spanning dozens of countries…i’m speechless. I myself am a Muslim with MANY MANY female relatives still LIVING in Muslim countries or here in the US…All will say their background without hesitation and many go to regular mosque services. Not ONE has ever even BROUGHT UP the topic of FGM, never even thought of it really. I myself have only first heard of it from occasional random news stories regarding East Africa. So assuming that the child is being sent to have her genitals mutilated is just a pitifully horrendous small minded assumption that shows amazing ignorance and bias, potentially intentional…

    More stuff like this and who knows, maybe it’s “View from the (right)Wing”…

    Kudos to you Robert and Roxanne, among others for speaking some logic…

55. A savvy, mile – earning frequent flyer Iranian woman tries to purchase first award tickets for her and her daughter, Soon the FBI is breaking down her door. Why? Bec some people have paranoid prejudices and biases. Is it not enough that you are discriminating on this poor woman? Must you make her life hell too by being investigated by the FBI?

    Admit that you are biased and move on, we are all a little bit racist anyway, but going one step further, puts your actions on the henious realm.

56. I commend this decision!

57. I first read this and were only 5 comments. Now it is 54, wow!

    In business you need to make decisions every day. I learned from my first boss that when you feel your blood pressure goes up when a client calls you better let him go it is just not worth it, life is too short. In your case, you clearly feel uncomfortable doing this so you move on.

    I am not sure it warranted a separate blog post…but, hey, it’s your blog and you do as you please!

    I am sure there is a very valid and proper explanation for this request. I know several Iranians here in the US and I find them all very bright with a high work ethic and they ALL really hate the Iranian clerics running (ruining?) their country.

    I found the “women subjugation” and genital mutilation” (especially) to be ludicrous but I fully appreciate you expressing your feelings and asking (gutsy) for feedback.

    Hey, my 2 cents, you asked for it.

58. I commend your forward looking decision on this. We have an obligation to do what’s in the best interest of those we serve (particularly a child). In this case you had a choice based upon the information at that point and you nailed it in my opinion.

59. this person presented u with $$$$, take the $$$$ and run. Morals and ethics will never make u rich; the appearance of them might but not their practice. Is not the goal to make as much money as possible however you can? Otherwise you will be a faliure, without the guts to do what has to be done to get ahead, besides someone else will just do it anyways.

60. After this post, you have lost a loyal reader.. your prejudices really digust me.. thought you and your readers were better than this, just a reminder of how ignorant our country remains. Shame on you!

61. Happy Mother’s Day.

    http://asulawjournal.lawnews-asu.org/?p=271

62. I support your decision.

63. You did the right thing. As you said – you make the decision based on the information you have. End of story.
    And to the take the $$$ and run comment – really? Wow.

64. I second your decision.

65. One easy way to look more deeply into it would be to tell the customer that a RT ticket is a more economical use of miles even if the return is well into the future. Customer might then offer up why she wanted a one way ticket.

    Brining Islam into this is really a bad idea, Islam has little to do with any of the situation in Iran, other than the radicals causing humanitarian problems happen to be that religion. I know many Muslims who abhor the behavior of radicals and who assert what many of us feel about Islam, that it is a peaceful religion twisted by radicals to incite violence.

66. @disappointed so I should have lied as a more ethical response, even though I have no way to evaluate the veractiy of whatever response I actually received?

    Folks, I have no issue doing awards for Iranians. My issue was a one-way ticket for an 8-year old girl to a dictatorial regime that subjugates women. The mother wanted to take her daughter there and leave her, and on the basis of that limited amount of information I was uncomfortable.

    I would have always wondered what happened to the girl, I’d have little way to really know, and I decided not to be a part of the booking. That is all…

67. Gary, while I can not deny that you had the right to refuse her business for any reason, the reasons you outlined in your email above were seriously uninformed. FGM in Iran? Come on…

68. You might want to read this quote from Homi Bhabha

    “Fixity, as the sign of cultural/historical/racial difference in the discourse of colonialism, is a paradoxical mode of representation: it connotes rigidity and an unchanging order as well as disorder, degeneracy and daemonic repetition. Likewise the stereotype, which is its major discursive strategy, is a form of knowledge and identification that vacillates between what is always ‘in place’, already known, and something that must be anxiously repeated….as if the essential duplicity of the Asiatic or the bestial sexual license of the African that needs no proof, can never really, in discourse, be proved. It is this process of ambivalence that gives the colonial stereotypes its currency: ensures its repeatability in changing historical and discursive conjunctures; informs its strategies of individuation and marginalization; produces that effect of probabilistic truth and predictability which, for the stereotype, must always be in excess of what can be empirically proved or logically construed.”

    The rest of it is available here=> Bhabha, Screen 24.6, 1983, pg 18

69. @Maithili utter gibberish and non-germaine, has nothing whatsoever to do with the ‘discourse of colonialism’ but rather of a dictatorial state that enforces gender discrimination. Wrapping up a defense of Iran in language of so-called liberation is in and of itself the use of language to advance oppression. Shame on you!

70. @Nabeel tell that to the Committee Against Sexual Violence in Iran’s Kurdish region. But FGM was simply a hypothetical example, as I thought and hoped I had made clear.

71. I’ve thought about this post overnight, and Yes, you have a right to choose your clients, but I really feel like you made a premature call on this one.

72. I was going to add some additional comments to my earlier post, but then I looked at myself in the mirror!

73. I wonder if there is a travel agent blogger in Iran right now, advising a parent not to take their kid to the US for fear that the litter bugger will get shot in the streets of LA, or become unhealthy from eating the KFC Double-Down in Dayton, etc. Face it folks, everyplace has something crappy & dangerous about it! Thanks Gary for bringing this conundrum – I appreciate the guts and I personally have no problem with your call. I promise I will bring you some business someday to make up for the drop-offs!

74. Gary-

    I think we would all appreciate it if you would send a link to this discussion to the mother involved, and invite her to add to it.

75. This only proves one thing. Experience of traveling around the world doesn’t necessarily make people more open-minded.

76. @Gary Steiger: Even though your idea is great and would make this thread even more colorful, I am afraid that (based on my very limited legal knowledge) it may be an invitation to her and her lawyer to sue based on discrimination grounds?? Any lawyers here? That is why I avoid politics and religion in my online public endeavors…just a can of worms.

    And this was my 3rd cent.

77. If you are going to impose your personal ethics on help it behooves you to disclose the limits in bold letters.

78. Gary-

    Just let us know how many “loyal readers” like Chris you lose, and I’ll make it my personal mission to replace them.

79. There is one point I haven’t seen raised here. It is against US law for one parent to take a child out of the country without the other parent’s permission. So there is nothing wrong in making sure she has the father’s permission and asking why the child is flying only one-way.

    As long as no one is breaking the law there is no ethics issue. As for the moral issue, as we see from this thread, it’s becomes very complicated.

80. @Tom I don’t buy legal positivism, there are plenty of things that are illegal but not immoral, and plenty of things that are immoral but not illegal. My fear wasn’t that the woman lacked the father’s permission, but precisely that she had that permission, might have been leaving the girl WITH the father in Iran.

81. Gary,
    I agree with you. I think you should use the same decision for anyone who is buying a RT for themselves and 1W for the child, to any destination. If it’s legitimate, the parent should have explained in the initial request (odd that you don’t hear back). And you should request proof of consent from the other parent. Without proof, I would not book even if it’s domestic travel.

82. Very difficult decision here, and a genuine thanks for sharing your conundrum! I would have called the mother and asked some questions that were mentioned above – asked for the father’s permission, mentioned that you can do a R/T award (and listen for an explanation of why she doesn’t want it), etc. Then you could get a better feel for what was going on. At that point, I would even sheepishly admit that with the information that’s being shown on American TV, I am less than thrilled to send a girl to Iran. An uncomfortable conversation to be sure. I would be very embarrassed to deny the booking service to this mother just based on preconceived notions. Now she’s going to think you’re denying her because she’s Muslim/Iranian, which will perhaps reinforce beliefs she may already have about how welcome she is in the United States. I would go with the most likely scenario, which is an innocent one. I base this on the knowledge I have of a few Iranian people, and as an Eastern European immigrant. You seem to want to eliminate any chance of anything nefarious going on, all the while (possibly) denying this girl a summer of fun with her cousins.

83. I’m proud of you Gary.

    As a person born in the US and into a Muslim family, I grew up in a dichotomy of the two very different cultures, and would have done the same, if only for the “non-equal” treatment of the genders, if I may say it that way. Regardless of whatever opinion or bias, you’re running a private business and have whatever reason you wish to refuse selling your services at any time for any reason–Sharing your personal thoughts with us due to the ethical nature of the situation only adds to the respect I have for individuals such as yourself who could easily make a few bucks on this but hold themselves to a higher standard instead of succumbing to the allure of the mighty dollar.

    My $0.02.