Some husbands fly first class while leaving their spouse in coach while others leave the spouse to take care of their kids.
At the same time, many couples are adamant about sitting together during flights. The inability to do so can trigger intense reactions and stress. This often stems from one partner feeling neglected or undervalued if they’re separated, interpreting it as a negative reflection on the relationship. The other partner, in turn, may feel pressured to express similar frustration over this enforced separation.
Here’s a woman who got upgraded and her husband didn’t. She takes video of him in back. And he clearly gives her stink eye.
@megumeguchan95 Wait for it ✌ #firstclass #firstclassflight #firstclasstravel #travelfunny #travelcouple #upgrade #luxurylife ♬ My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme from "Titanic") – Céline Dion
My position with upgrades is that when an airline offers one, you take it. Coach is bad. You should not wish it on someone that you love. And it’s ok to be apart for a few hours. The only exception? A honeymoon.
Here’s the truth. It’s ok to be separated. It does not carry huge meaning.
- If one passenger gets upgraded, you do not turn down a seat with more room. You do not wish suffering on your partner. What kind of person would that make you? You’re supposed to want better things for them.
- Spreading out on the couch at home doesn’t mean you do not love each other. There’s nothing wrong with spreading out on a plane, where space is even more at a premium.
Your goal on a plane should be comfort, which means space. And anyone secure in their relationship should want space for their partner, not debasement. When one partner spots the opportunity for greater comfort, they should be supported and not scorned.
Generally we book aisle across seats in C+. Domestic upgrades usually clear both of us. If not, the argument! You take it, no, you take it. If I can’t get the wife to take it. She drinks and I don’t, I will move up. I have long legs. Exception are some row 1 seats. Lousy legroom and I’d rather be in back.
I never understood couples that are so clingy they can’t be apart for a while. After 34 years of marriage I think we can sit apart for a couple of hours. Usually for international travel we are in business so not next to each other anyway.
The only time I remember taking an upgrade and leaving my family it coach was on a Delta flight to Aruba. Weather was horrible and many didn’t make the connection in Atlanta. I was only lifetime Gold at the time (now lifetime Platinum) so wasn’t expecting any upgrade but got stopped as I was boarding and told I had been upgraded (first was half empty due to the inbound delays). I asked my wife and she said go for it and that she would sit in the seats I had booked for her with our 2 daughters in the back (got them 3 together and I was a row or 2 away anyway). If she had said no I would have turned it down. Otherwise I buy first or business ($ or miles) for both of us or just hunker down in Main Cabin Extra is a relatively short domestic flight.
We book C and D. If I get up graded and my partner is not good with the flight or will have an early day the I give it to him. But 100% of the time I have given it to him so I get my brownie points. He hates to fly so anytime I can manipulate him to travel more I do.
FYI. He will never see this post
If you ever want to see her naked again, give your seat to the girl.
Our policy: He or she who does all of the trip booking and planning (mostly me) gets the spoils. ie, the upgrade!
Recently was offered upgrade to premium economy on a 5000 mile flight (unofficial, offered in flight). Declined because we had 6 economy class seats between us, one row of 4, which became a bed, and an adjacent row of 2.
Only time it happened to me was on flight to Mexico City to see MIL. On 1st segment, 90 mintes, 1 seat opened. My wife and I stayed in exit row and 10 year old daughter took upgrade. I was shocked 10 minutes into flight, my daughter and woman in window stood up and brushed off clothes as if something spilled. My daughter caught my eye and FA came back to tell me not to worry. Woman in window,50+ years old, spilled her drink.
I’ve flown 1st Class much more often than my wife, so I would gladly offer it to her (if I was the one who received the upgrade)
That said, I don’t imagine she would take it…. she’s a bit of a nervous flyer, and feels better when we’re together on a flight.
Would never give her the ~ “stink eye” ~ …. btw, who uses that expression anymore… oh yes, the author.
But, I would suggest that the biggest red flag would be her filming him from 1st Class. Guess she was probably thinking… in your face.
I didn’t think that was a stink eye or anything less than a benevolent look.
I’ve been next to people who got the upgrade, and boarded first clearly far ahead of their family, to then make stretching motions and such as the spouse and kids walked by to the back. Doesn’t bother me. My other half has status on her own and both understand the upgrade is a solo battle. But for the others who then want to make a show of going back and forth between cabins or having kids come visit or passing a baby in arms back and forth… Just don’t be a nuisance about it. The last thought going through my mind if we go down won’t be how I wanted to show off for my family so now I’m not with them screaming in the back.
I always give my wife upgrades. It’s simply not worth it to take it and leave her back there. Plus you get some points from her.
Also I kinda like sitting apart. Means I can zone out and drink and do whatever I want without pressure to speak. Haha.
With upgrades becoming more and more difficult if sitting together in first is so important then here’s the solution. Buy first outright or for most airlines (in the US) take the cash upgrade offer. Problem solved. Otherwise make an agreement ahead of time either we both sit in coach if only one seat is available or one of us takes the upgrade. In other words, act like two adults.
The person who is physically biggest should always get the upgrade. If your wife is fat, ( don’t mean that in a negative way) she should get upgrade. My wife does not mind that I take the larger seat because my huge shoulders and biceps are bumping into her while sitting next to her in a coach seat. If you are giving your wife the upgrade because you are afraid of her….. well dude, you are whipped!
I’m with Doug. My wife and I argue — each of us trying to get the other to take it. Nice problem to have.
Often its more fun to offer the FC seat to the person that is next to your partner and see their surprise 🙂
I fly a lot for work. My wife doesn’t. So when we travel together and I get an upgrade, she gets the “seat”. And I go in back.
Upgrade always goes to SO, who can work and bill out at $750/hr in domestic first, it’s a little more difficult to do that in MCE. Frees her up for more time at our destination or back home. We always book C & D in MCE anyway, we’re not stupid enough to book a middle voluntarily. International, where upgrades are rare or non-existant, we pay for business, either with points or cash. If our older kids happened to be on the reservation, sorry, the people who paid for your ticket get priority.
Never, ever turn down an upgrade. It’s just a matter of who gets it. And that should be through longstanding policy.
My wife refuses to fly over 11 hours unless it’s a lie-flat, so, if I get an upgrade, it’s to join her up front. 10 hours or under, she prefers Economy exit window so the FAs leave her alone. On the old 2-2-2 or 2-4-2 lie-flats , she would stay in coach because she didn’t want to lie down next to a stranger. Thankfully, more lie-flats are singles now.
“They have cookies up here” (Elaine Benis of Seinfeld)
I don’t judge other people who take the upgrade, but I would rather sit with my wife, even in economy.
C_M obviously stands for cuck man. Grow a set.
Of course it’s selfish, but one could argue it’s selfish to deprive your partner of the upgrade by guilting them into staying in steerage. Airlines should make the decision easy and not allow upgrades for only one of a group traveling together. This way solo travelers who value the space more will get more upgrades.
I have the status but my wife gets to use the upgrade. I’m old enough to know about being a gentleman. Doing something different never occurred to me.
Back when I traveled a lot on business, I would use a combination of airline points and Amex’s cash equivalent points to buy tickets for my entire family of four to go to Europe.
The Amex tickets were treated like a cash purchase and were upgradable with my status. The airline points were economy plus only.
We would take turns, one parent and one child in biz class, the other parent and child in economy.
It all worked out and no feelings were hurt.