Many flight safety briefings are done by video nowadays, at least on aircraft equipped with inflight entertainment.

But flight attendants used to do safety briefings live. In fact on a recent flight where the video wasn’t working the flight attendants were quite proud of themselves for ‘saving the day’ and averting a lengthy delay when the video didn’t work, they went ‘old school’ and did it themselves (they were quite nervous and out of practice).

As long as all of the relevant information is included in the briefing, the particular verbiage isn’t dictated. So I’ve been on plenty of flights where it deviated from the standard script.

Back in 1999, I think, I first heard “‘Twas the Flight Before Christmas” and it went something like this:

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Twas the night before Christmas on this [airline] aircraft
All the passengers were stirring both forward and aft.
The oxygen masks were all hung up with care
If oxygen were needed it would readily be there.
Pull down on the mask till the tube’s fully extended
Help with the child when you’re done, that would be oh so splendid.
Place the mask on your face with the elastic secure
The bag may be flat but the oxygen’s pure.
And Santa has helpers in all exit rows
It’s not to wrap presents all covered in bows.
You must see the exits – hear instructions we yell
Get those exits all opened in a very short spell.
Direct folks to the exits, don’t get in the way
And don’t hurt yourself on this [aircraft type] sleigh.
You can’t get distracted, 15 or over you must be
If you don’t want these duties, please tell it to me.
Your seatbelt is fastened when the sign starts to glow
We’ll show you how it works in case you don’t know.
Metal tab into buckle, now pull on the strap
Lift up on the buckle to get out in a snap.
A comfortable flight we should be having today
Keep your belt always fastened, should we hit a bump ‘long the way.
All crew member instructions you must always obey
Anytime you’re flying on a big [airline] sleigh.
Four door exits here if you need to get out
Two forward and two aft exit routes.
These doors are equipped with emergency slides
Also two window exits, one on each side.
Emergency lights have been placed on the seats by the floor
Red lights will indicate when you’re close to a door.
But if you are looking in daylight instead
All exits are marked with signs white and red.
And just for the record you might want to note
Your seat bottom cushion will help you to float.
Just pull up on the cushion and hold it to your chest
Make sure to hold the straps and the cushion will do the rest.
No smoking allowed anywhere on the plane
It’s required by law, not because we’re insane.
Smoke detectors in the lavs you must leave alone
It’s a federal offense; we’re a no smoking zone.
Observe posted placards and all lighted signs
Complying with all will save you from fines.
This holiday season if you need to call home
Remember you can’t do it on your cellular phone.
Now folks put your seatbacks and tray tables upright
And fasten those seatbelts make sure they’re so low and tight.
Your carry on items should be properly stowed
In overhead bins or underneath by your toes.
There’s a card in the seat pocket, “Safety Card” is the name
Take a moment to learn it, safety knowledge, proper use of personal electronic devices you’ll gain.
And last but not least look who is here
It’s ____, ____, _____, and _____; not Santa’s reindeer.
In case you’re wondering and said to yourself
The guy up front is not that jolly old elf.
In fact it’s our Captain, Captain _______ is the name
And unlike Santa there’s help flying this plane.
It’s First officer ______, and you’ll hear them exclaim
We’re happy to serve you on our [airline] airplane.
On behalf of our crew we’re happy to say
We’ll be leaving for _______ without further delay.
(for night flights)
Now as we depart out of _____ tonight
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight.
(for day flights)
Now as we depart out of ______today
Merry Christmas to all; we’re now on our way.

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Someone recorded a live rendition of this and put it on YouTube.

Merry Christmas and happy holidays to all, and to all a good flight!

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