There’s a discussion blowing up online about family seating on planes, triggered by a woman who received seat assignments away from her kids on two different flights and airlines. It’s turned political. But there are some basic misunderstandings about what airlines try to do here – and what the responsibility of the passenger is. That’s a problem, and air travel is complicated. I think passengers need to do a better job educating themselves and advocting for themselves, and airlines can do a better job making these processes more legible.
I’m traveling with two of my kids. And on the way here and now on the way back, we were seated apart. Two different airlines.
If we want to make it easier for families to travel, we need to require airlines to seat families w/ kids together without an extra charge. @SecDuffy pic.twitter.com/wtUTES6vOF
— Bethany S. Mandel (@bethanyshondark) February 26, 2026
Biden Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg comes in and says ‘the government was going to fix this’ but that mantle hasn’t been carried forward by the Trump administration.
- In fact, airlines already have policies accommodating families sitting together
- The Biden administration wasn’t going to go much farther than those
- It’s the reality on the ground of available seats on full flights that creates problems. DOT regulations were’t going to solve that.
- And it wasn’t enough of a priority of Buttigieg’s DOT and the Biden administration to push forward early enough and fast enough to complete it before their term was up – in fact slow-walking policies like this was a tactic to help them with re-election (middle class pocket book issues).
The question of whether to legally require airlines to seat families together is being framed as pro- and anti-family and in fact for or against having kids and growing the population. When, in fact, there are already legally enforceable requirements to seat passengers together because severn major airlines have added it to their customer service plans, voluntarily assumed obligations that are enforceable!
Here’s what to understand about families sitting together.
- You can assign seats when you buy a ticket. If you buy basic economy tickets, you don’t pick your specific seats the airline picks them for you. But if you have a young child on the reservation, airlines like American and United will pick seats for you that are together. Family seating is actually a trump over basic economy rules and you get seats together for free.
- The problem is generally with passengers who don’t get seat assignments when they book, or that book late, and so there aren’t seats together. Airlines don’t forcibly move other passengers to accommodate family seating requests. When flights cancel and passengers rebook, there may not be seats together on the next flight.
- Another issue is traveling with teenagers. The age of the child matters for whether airliens will give out free seats together. Some will do it for 12 and under, others 15 and under, but parents sometimes complain about not getting seats together with their 16 year old.
American Airlines will automatically search for families traveling on the same reservation and try to seat them together – even on basic economy fares and when no seats have been assigned or paid for. They do this for families traveling with children under 15.
- They ask you to book everyone in the same reservation, but still offer to have reservations noted if they are separate.
- You can choose seats together or skip seat selection if only paid options are available and you don’t want to pay. Even Basic Economy passengers without seat assignments will have seats assigned together if traveling as a family. (If there aren’t seats available for the entire party to sit together, they’ll ensure at least one adult is next to children under 15 on the reservation.)
American’s commitment doesn’t apply in the event there simply aren’t adjacent seats available at time of booking (they aren’t promising to remove people from their pre-existing seat assignments, though families can still get help at the gate) and it doesn’t apply in the event of an aircraft swap to a smaller plane.
United tries to do this with children under 12, and they will even allow free flight changes with no fare difference when there aren’t adjacent seats available prior to travel – even on basic economy fares.
Ultimately, though, passengers need to make sure that the flights they choose have seats open together. And they should be the same type of seats that they’re eligible for based on their purchase. Don’t expect extra legroom seats together when buying basic economy, but free assigned standard seats shouldn’t be a problem.
Don’t rely on the IT to work correctly, though it’s designed to. Watch your reservation. If it doesn’t happen on its own, call. Airlines accommodate eligible families seating together but the passenger has responsibility to pick flights with open seats together and actually ask for those seats!
During irregular operations – flight cancellations, aircraft change – seat assignments get messed up. You may need to change flights to stay seated together. Or you may need to deal with this on board.
The best thing to do is to ask passengers around you to trade seats (try to have at least one ‘better’ seat to offer like an aisle or at least a window). Nobody wants to sit next to your kids! Ask a flight attendant for assistance with this if you need help.
Everyone is acting like airlines won’t seat families together when they will. And they do this even though it undermines their price discrimination tools. There are edge cases, times that the passengers are to blame, or when circumstances throw a monkey wrench in (or times where families are complaining about not being seated together with kids eligible for drivers licenses).
Nah, I’m not gonna pile-on against passengers, who have gotten screwed again-and-again by greedy corporations who keep devaluing, adding costs, making things more difficult, etc. Families should be able to sit together.
My outrage meter didn’t even twitch over the victimhood claims of some Karen who can’t plan ahead. Don’t care. If this is an important issue to you then you’re probably a retard.
We are a family of 4 and recently flew on AA in J BOS-LAX. We couldn’t assign the seats together in the J cabin because the seats were already selected. We called AA and told them to help us out. AA said no worries, we have a great family seating policy. Then we got on the plane and all of the people flying on their employers money didn’t want to change their seats. The young kids started to cry. The employees flying on other people’s money suddenly changed their minds. This was on reasonably expensive BOS-LAX-KIX tickets, not basic eco fares. I don’t understand why all of the upgraders on other people’s money had to throw such a hissy fit on the plane, but they did. It was embarrassing from all angles.
Maybe stop writing posts around the incessant whining of right wing hacks like Mandel. She and her husband are notorious attention whores who claim anything that perturbs them is a left wing plot.
@1990 — I never understand references to “greedy corporations” when it comes to airlines. Do you know that US airlines almost always have very low margins or lose money? Do you want them to operate as charities? How do you think service levels would be then?
Agree with the suggestion to be reasonable, and not demanding, if a family finds themselves in this situation on the aircraft. I have helped many families work with other passengers for seat trades, and have never once seen a person refuse to move from their middle seat to an aisle seat to accommodate a family.
When it is a win-win, most people will want to help. When it is a demand, not so much. We are all humans.
Gary is spot on.
and most US airlines allow you to see the seat map before you book, something many airlines in other parts of the world do not do.
If you see a bunch of seats together but then book economy basic, it is your own fault. same if you see a couple of paid seats but an empty middle seat at no charge and you aren’t willing to spend the money for even one paid seat.
And the real legal issue which Gary notes is that the feds likely cannot start regulating parts of the economic aspects of air travel while pretending to leave the rest under the control of the Deregulation Act of 1978.
Entitled cow. She expects everyone else to pay for her vanity lifestyle.
Airlines adopting a “no kids, no pets” policy would solve a lot of problems.
Mandel is a bad-faith MAGA grifter. Ten bucks says there’s more to the story than what she posted.
“Airlines don’t forcibly move other passengers to accommodate family seating requests. When flights cancel and passengers rebook, there may not be seats together on the next flight.”
Unpopular opinion:
Airlines should forcibly move other passengers to accommodate family seating requests, even if it means refunding seat assignments.
If they move you to put a kid with together with its family, one person is pissed off (you). If they don’t move you, two people are pissed off (the family and the stranger stuck next to the kid).
Just another entitled group trying to get for free what others have paid for. I noticed that the person traveling has three middle seats assigned to her group. This would happen when the tickets were bought later than when most passengers bought their tickets or when the buyer didn’t pay for seats. These tickets will be easily tradeable only with others in middle seats. What should be part of the story is how much the mother saved by not paying for seats as an exact number of dollars. Her hack on the price. She should try to trade for either 18E or 21E and sit in the seat with a child behind and a child in front if she can.
@Chopsticks — Even with de-regulation, airlines still receive ample taxpayer subsidies… so, they already are charities, somewhat. How anti-consumer can you be to want families to get price-gauged just to sit tighter…
And, folks, here’s an idea, during the next downturn, which we’re basically already-in, just, not officially, and because the bankruptcies haven’t piled up yet, when inevitably all these corporations, airlines, AI, or otherwise, demand public bailouts for their speculative behavior, let’s be sure to include strings attached this time, specifically robust consumer and worker protections, otherwise, what’r we even doing here anymore….
If families purchase tickets in advance enough, they can pay to purchase seats together. This is the policy on virtually every single airlines.
I find it strange that some trolls will automatically blame Biden, Trump, George Washington or Abraham Lincoln just to throw in their political “two cents”. That has nothing to do with the issue. “Caveat emptor”, loosely translated as “let the buyer beware”, is how I see the issue, or “the early bird gets the worm”. Pick one. It was stated above that US airlines post the seating on the chosen flights. The ones I’ve seen show the upgrade seats and pricing. I see no reason to force the airlines, or any public conveyance with assigned seating, to accommodate families traveling together. You pick the flight…you buy the seat…”snooze, you lose”. Then to bump someone who rightly bought the use of a seat is ridiculous. There is no logical reason that ANY company should force a person to give up a seat to accommodate someone’s desire to sit with a family member. Oh, just to be sure people understand, a “lap child” is NOT 2 years old. The law reads 24 months. Big difference. Pets…NO PETS in the cabin…period. Service animals…government issued “real ID” for a service animal.
Mark…. Do you bring politics into every single conversation, it has nothing to do with the root of this conversation. You have no evidence or reason to point your Political finger.
Lori, politics is in nearly everything, unless you’re being disingenuous. If it has to do with people, culture, resources, power… it’s gonna be politics. Say what you wanna say. Praise Dear Leader. Attack him and others. Call me or Mark names, and we’ll do the same. ‘Tis what ’tis. And if you can’t handle the heat… something something KITCHEN.
People expect something for nothing. Not to mention the clueless posters here that do not seem to understand the current domestic fare structure is a money loser for ALL AIRLINES. It’s credit card income, long haul business, upgrade fees and some ancillary revenue that is keeping airlines from total financial ruin. If you’re flying domestic coach you are very likely getting the service below the cost to deliver that service.
Airlines will seat a child(ren) next to at least one parent. Want to all sit together. Buy seats together. Problem solved.
On a recent flight PHX to LAX a total Karen was making a scene because her “child” ( a 17 year old Male) was seated in the row infront of her. Its a stinking 40 min flight and the kid didn’t appear to have any disabilities. In fact he seemed down right relieved he did have to have her clinging on to him. The crew told her they were unable to move seats and she flipped. ( I will have your job!) The kid finally spoke up and told her he was fine and to chill. The 20 something women next to the “Child” didn’t seem to pose much of a threat. All in all it was good entertainment! This was on an E175.
Choose your seats when you book your tickets. It’s really as simple as that. Flying basic economy and the airline chooses your seats? Fine, that’s your choice, but then don’t complain.
“Unpopular opinion:
Airlines should forcibly move other passengers to accommodate family seating requests, even if it means refunding seat assignments.”
Seriously? Forcibly? What, do the airlines have their own Dr. Dao-style goon squads now? “More to appease the crying Karen or we knock your teeth out!” And, why should the airlines have to refund monies that paying passengers who booked in good faith but who get moved because Karen didn’t plan her reservations and seating assignments ahead of time? Oh, and when do the seating requests become unreasonable, in your view? What are the rules for that???
Honestly, if you want to sit together then book seats together. Use some personal responsibility. Plan ahead. What’s so hard about that?
As someone who loves to plan ahead, we’re missing a situation here. When a flight changes/cancels/debooks that when I find myself in this situation. Certainly not a fault on the passenger side. Thats when many of these situations happen to otherwise well planned (and in the old days of southwest, doesnt matter if you bought early bird, the rebook could still kick you to the C’s). In those situations I think airlines *should* take responsibility to ensure kids under 12 sit with an adult in their group.
Pick your seat when you buy your ticket. How hard is that? Not an issue of airline greed. If you choose to buy a ticket that does not allow you to select your seat at time of booking, that is made clear and you have made your choice. And don’t ask me to trade seats, because I booked and paid for the seat I wanted. If they cannot accommodate you on your flight, then wait for another one and learn your lesson to book adjoining seats. Your problem is not my problem.
And why the MAGA comment? Are only people of one political persuasion those who complain about service? I think not. An irrelevant and unnecessary assertion.
so parents cheap out and b*itch, yeah crying for them
Airlines introduced Basic Economy to allow passengers to just pay for what you need, ala Spirit and Frontier. They still sell normal economy at a higher price which includes seat selection at booking. Yes, they can still get scrambled on an equipment change, so pay attention to the reservation. If someone can’t afford normal economy, perhaps they shouldn’t be flying.
“Lori, politics is in nearly everything,…”
No, politics are “brought” into nearly everything. There is a clear difference.
@Bob Moran
You’re not going to believe this, but airlines can and do dynamically update seat numbers on BPs before boarding all the time. There’s no need to start dragging people once they’re seated.
I take issue with Ben Schlappig’s assertion that people in J class were “traveling on other people’s money.” How do you know? It’s none of your business who paid for the ticket any more than you need to know why they are flying. The seat was BOUGHT AND PAID FOR before you tried to buy your tickets. The passenger picked that seat and there’s no reason that you, or anyone else, should demand that the passenger move to accommodate you and/or your family. You snoozed and you “loozed” (sic) and, considering you’re in the travel business…you should KNOW!
@RT I’ve had my chosen seat changed unbeknownst to me after I had checked in & confirmed the seat/BP. No aircraft change or anything irregular. This leads to potential ‘double booking’ because my *printed* BP says one seat, but when I look at my app & the electronic BP, it says another seat. It was not an upgrade or anything, I think they moved me to seat other people together (I was a solo flyer). I can’t remember if they moved me to a worse seat though. I print out my BP if possible as a backup precaution. Once my phone wasn’t working right for some reason, and I couldn’t pull my electronic BP up. I had to wait for the entire plane to board, then the gate agent helped me.
I have been the victim of a plane change or last minute booking though. Lost good seats and had to sit in a middle seat. Those are the breaks. I was able to trade once to sit next to my 2 kids. They were in the last row window/middle, with a teenaged girl in the aisle. I was in an aisle a few rows up. Turns out I was sitting opposite the aisle of that teenaged girl’s Mom and she was happy to switch! Win-win for all!!
News Alert! When Ben Schlappig flies with his family, no one’s first/business class seat is safe. He will demand that the airline remove passengers from the seats they purchased (in advance) in order to accommodate Mr. Snowflake and his entitled urchins. Because he is a very important person and you are not, lowly peasants. This seems dangerously close to flexing your white privilege, Ben. And then bragging about it on VFTW.
Rules for Thee… What in gawd’s name makes you pull the “white privilege” card? After typing something that has NOTHING to do with the issue, you sit back in your little space and think, “Boy, I told him off!” He was thoughtless to think that someone should give up their seat to accommodate him, I’ll agree 100% but your comment…It just shows your character…not his. Pathetic. Really, pathetic.
Sounds like airlines are willing to risk children’s safely for profit. Maybe the airlines are protecting pedophiles just like the government seems to do.
You would think the risk of lawsuits because of the chance of something happening would be enough to make it policy to sit family’s with minors together. Unless the carriage contract protects them from this. Just because the age of consent is 16 in places doesnt change the fact they are a minor until the age of 18 and should be protected.
“Oh, that’s so unfortunate you couldn’t select seats together when you bought the tickets,” I’d say hoping they would reveal they could have, but didn’t to save money. “Oh, then this will be a good teaching moment for your kids.” I’m never less than F/J in the US now, but I do fly Y on planes without F (or on QF, where the additional cost of F is crazy on a 2-2.5 hour flight). I’m not giving up my “1” side seat (in 1-2-1 J) or a true window seat in J unless I get the same in trade. I’m not giving up my 1A seat on AA 789P or AF’s new 350. I reserve an aisle seat when in Y with extra legroom. I’m not moving to a middle seat for sure. Not to a less-legroom seat or even to extra legroom window unless they are really nice folks.
I’d be more willing to accommodate if I knew their situation was not their fault (e.g., flying to a funeral, missed connection, swapped equipment, etc.). But, darn, people lie.
I support moving people around to group families with kids together. Stuff them all in the back. Like, if you have to inconvenience other passengers by having them moved, it should equally inconvenience you. Back of the plane.
If that’s not acceptable for you then pay for seat selection or get status or fly business or whatever.
IMO, a simple fix would be to eliminate booking a reservation without selecting a seat. It’s a no-brainer. For the bottom line, cheap seats increase ticket prices by $5, and let potential complainers choose a seat when they book.
Personally, I’ve been asked to change seats once, by a hysterical, bawling bride who was not sitting with her new husband. I chalked it up to sheer stupidity on their part and gave up a middle seat for an aisle. Only once have I requested a switch….an aisle for an aisle in FC, which was not a problem.
Common sense, people.
I’m pretty sure that it used to be that when you booked multiple tickets on one reservation, they were all sat together, unless it wasn’t possible at the time of booking. Then airlines started nickel and diming everyone, charging for everything, and suddenly it’s a luxury to put two tickets purchased together with each other. Ridiculous.
Funny irony: I’ve traveled with my three kids for 25 years all over the world many flights 12 hours plus. Once they were old enough for their own seats as non-revs, we always end up with the last seats almost never together. Turns out, kids—and parents—learn to adapt when you don’t pay for seat selection.
As a father of three I am always amazed at the people who don’t purchase seats and expect others (government, airlines, etc.) to take care of them. If you want to sit with your kids BUY the seats. As simple as that. It isn’t brain science. If you want to be too cheap to pay for the seats then don’t complain
At the end of the day I would say if it’s important enough for you to complain this much about it, then it’s important enough to pay for it.