Flight attendants need to stop touching passengers. Seriously, it’s an epidemic that’s out of control.
I really don’t mind flying coach anymore on short flights. I used to fear it flying halfway across the country. The biggest difference is that I lost a lot of weight.
One thing that’s really annoying though flying in back is getting bumped by flight attendant galley carts. And nearly every time they bump me, they’ll say ‘sorry’ and touch my arm. They’re apologizing for touching me by touching me. Stop it.
Mostly we talk about passengers touching flight attendants, and how it’s inappropriate, but I think it’s important to note that it goes both ways because as soon as you do it becomes a bit easier to understand what’s going on.
There’s been a lot of discussion the last few days over passengers touching flight attendants, and a group of flight attendants asking them to stop.
Usually we default to a Mad Men explanation, a stereotype of lecherous males treating woman as something other than equals and not respecting flight attendants as professionals (“coffee, tea, or me?”).
Sara Nelson says that passengers touch flight attendants out of disrespect, that cabin crew are seen as “a part of the furniture.” But I don’t think that’s what’s going on here at all.
- I’d say that airplane cabins bring together all sorts of different people and cultural expectations, and throw them together with other people whose expectations and practices are different, and that’s a big part of what we get conflict in the cabin – it’s small-d democratic.
- Some people are touchy and some people aren’t, some people are ok with being touched and some people aren’t, and most people just act how they are without concern for the sensitivities that others aren’t.
- And the cabin is pretty confined quarters, passengers are really physically close to each other but also passengers and crew are physically close to each other in ways they aren’t in most other contexts.
- Physical proximity is often an invitation for physical touch, and maybe people don’t realize that in this case that proximity isn’t totally voluntary – just part of being stuck in a metal tube together?
- People also touch each other to get their attention, and the engines of the plane create enough background noise that sometimes it’s difficult to hear.
Obviously I’m not talking about overtly sexual or demeaning touch – slapping or grabbing or touching more private areas of the body. That’s clearly inappropriate and should be dealt with. I’m talking about the more ambiguous touch on the arm or shoulder, which I think is more about a disconnect in culture norms and cues.
I don’t like it when a flight attendant does it to me, and many flight attendants don’t like it when passengers do it to them, but some passengers and crew just think it’s normal.
Amazing to note a certain group of passengers being left out in middle of ongoing conversation on “touching”. The group is deaf and hard of hearing passengers including me. Their communication methods require touching on arms and shoulders in order to get their attention since they can’t hear voices and any sounds. Waving hands in front of attendants are barely doable but they often ignore us. Sadly everything does not go both ways.
Most people aren’t bothered at all by a sympathetic touch to the arm in an instance such as what you’ve described here, Gary. But to be fair, I suppose those on the autism spectrum might not like it.
Put me in the camp of understanding how Flight attendants don’t want to be touched (they are working in an environment where they are surrounded by people every shift), but do not object if someone pats me on the shoulder- it’s not like it happens that often. The two are not equivalent (also, anyone who is deaf or dumb should communicate through touching and it’s perfectly OK).
Roman I am curious when you book your flights do you go to the accessibility area and select the deaf area. If so when you are on the plane does a flight attendant come up to you to acknowledge your deaf issue?
If you are upset by someone lightly touching your arm or shoulder as a way they are sorry then you have more quirks than I thought and that is saying something.
I’ve threatened before bite likely will drop this blog. Can’t support someone who posts half the stuff you do including cutting and pasting the same topics and constant shilling. Give me Lucky or even TPG any day for actual travel/points/miles info
This is a major issue with me! I have major back problems after having 5 back surgeries and sciatica. When people start pounding on my back, shoulders, arms, etc., and have pins and wires in my back, This causes me excruciating pain. I would never go up to anyone and start pounding on their back, especially strangers. When working in the tourism industry, one should NEVER tap, bang or touch others. I am on cruises a lot and am amazed and wonder if I look like a dog that wants to be patted. I have had flight attendants do the touchy feely to me and they absolutely should not. I would never do that to them or anyone else because you can’t know if that person has a health issue that patting would cause excessive pain. It is extremely presumptuous of anyone tapping, patting, etc to strangers!
Picking aisle seats comes with responsibility. The responsibility includes not spreading out into the aisle itself. If you are getting hit by a cart, most likely you are spreading out into the aisle and you should apologize for that. The flight attendants should be commended for keeping people in their seats.
Something that happens more than I would like it to is people sticking their feet out in the aisle. Maybe not a lot out but some. When it is dark in the cabin, the flight attendants’ preference, there is no way to see the feet sticking out in advance. I commonly bump or step on a foot or two during a flight that I go to the lavatory on. I do not apologize unless I have put my feet outside of the aisle. I’m sure that the cart runs into feet, too.
It would appear that the sky waitresses are getting a mite uppity nowadays. No touching to get their attention? Ok I’m down with “Yo mama, how about taking that double wide caboose you’re pulling around back to the galley and bring me another Sammy, and make that pronto”. Yep I can live with that if they prefer.
Welcome to America, where diversity is our strength, and touchy-feely activity is not battery; but, diverse cultural communication. English speech is a from a bowing masked flight attendant could be found on NH, but not in America domestic flights. Enjoy your cultural diversity, here in America!
And roman makes no sense. Every passenger is greeted by an FA at the door, and deafness or sign language is assessed then.
Of course, it seems to be a requirement in America for every economy class emergency exit seat to be occupied by an overly clothed feeble grandmother who pretends not to understand English communication and is very touch-feely.
Push me
And then just touch me
‘Til I can get my
Satisfaction
*clutching pearls*
Oh, how precious.
Yet, Vloggers and Bloggers setting up their cameras on sidewalls or on the seat in front of them to capture themselves eating, exploring the seat functions and yabbering away is way more intrusive on our personal space. Who takes umbrage with an apology and a touch on the arm / shoulder to express their remorse? Better yet, keep your legs and feet inside your space because it’s not just trolleys that you’re hindering the movement of.
And obviously if this touching is so irritating, do you tell them? What’s their response?
. Between air pressure and engine noise, people want to know you can hear them hence the touching. Being touch – averse and touch avoidant keep your paws off please unless you’re family.
If you’re going to sit in coach body touching of strangers seems to be part of the experience.
What’s up with the picture of the fat stewardess? Who would touch that?
Jeeze Louise…whiners. I am from the South. I am educated. I am polite. My parents taught the four kids to grow up and become a lady and gentlemen. We are. I will hold a door for a lady. I try to treat people with kindness.. If someone takes me by the arm to say hello…I don’t flinch. I WILL NOT “fist bump”…I will shake your hand with a firm grip and a smile. Liberal, conservative, libertarian…I don’t care. If I am “demonstrating” something, like a vibration that my car is making, I will say, “Can I put my hand on your shoulder to show you what it feels like?” That is different than a mild touch of understanding, thanks or compassion. Maybe that’s why people born and bred by caring and compassionate parents are so much happier than whiners. GET OVER IT! Oh…if you get bumped by the cart, move your body parts out of the aisle and I won’t happen again. Stephen, you are exactly right. The narcissistic morons who video everything they do and post everything from brushing their teeth to bowel movements…pathetic.
One of the reasons I disagree with Gary on aisle seats is the tendency of FAs or the carts to bump the seat itself. Neither than nor the Joe Biden touchy-feely stuff happens when I am in my window seat.
@jack the ladd — Maladky! Amtrak Joe didn’t do it! The Autopen did! Jack!
“I really don’t mind flying coach anymore”
Goes on to describe an annoyance with flying coach that never even occurred to me, a person who does mind flying coach
The complaint from Flight Attendants is very different from touching an arm or a shoulder. Passengers poke us in the hip and backside with abandon. It is because that is what is easiest to touch to get another sugar packet, or whatever. My usual line, when poked in the hip, is, “I’m usually taken to dinner before getting touched there.” Press the call light, please.
Everyone just chill. It’s a confined space. Just respect it and be human and be kind. Not that tough.
Everyone relax, touch me if you want, whatever. Just don’t punch me.