Three million people have viewed a video of a woman who refused to give up her window seat for a mother traveling with her two kids. The mother offered the passenger a middle seat in exchange for her window. Not happening!
“I got on the plane and a woman was sitting in my seat and when I mentioned it to her, she said, ‘Oh, you want to sit here? I thought we could switch because these are my kids’ (she points to the two seats next to mine).’”
Nelson said she told the mom she would be happy to switch seats, as long as she could move to another window seat.
However, the mom wanted Nelson to take her middle seat.
@myconquering Having had only 90 minutes of sleep the night before and knowing I had to give a presentation to 500 people, I desperately needed some sleep, so I did not agree to switch seats. 🤷♀️ Before anyone comes after me… the kids looked like they were about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us. The mom proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear. But the woman actually defended me – several times. It was so kind and I appreciated it so much because I was feeling really guilty. 🤦♀️ ##airplaneseat##seatswitching##airplanekarens ♬ original sound – MyCONQUERing
The kids were “about 11 and 15 years old. And the mom was in arms-reach of both of them from the middle seat in the row behind us.” It wasn’t a mom and a four year old.
Yet she “proceeded to complain for at least 15 minutes to the person next to her loud enough for me to hear” shaming her for refusing to give up the window.
If the mom wanted all of them to sit together, she should have reserved seats together. Airlines promise to help facilitate families sitting together now, under pressure from the Biden administration! Still, if a family books onto a mostly full flight, there may not be available seats together. And when a flight gets cancelled, that new flight may not have seats together.
They can get help from the gate agent prior to boarding. Nobody actually wants to sit next to your children. Still, it’s best to get as good a seat as you can to offer up in trade. Don’t expect someone to give up their extra legroom aisle seat for your middle in the back of the aircraft, for instance.
- I was once asked to change seats so that a couple could sit together, only to learn that they were already seated together, they just didn’t like the bulkhead, and they stuck me with the bulkhead (I don’t like the bulkhead either!).
- A reader once gave up his premium seat so that a family could sit together only to have the family sell that seat to another passenger and not actually sit together.
It’s not the burden on a passenger who prefers their seat to give it up because it makes someone else’s life easier – she might even have paid extra to be in that seat!
Of course, if you’re indifferent between seats that are on offer, helping a family is the nice thing to do! It’s even better when you’re offered a superior seat for your trouble.
Consider offering $20 to encourage the person to give you the help you’re looking for, or at least buy the passenger that’s moving a drink on board as a thank you.
The mother was in no position to Demand anything.
I would tell her to get out of my seat.
Now if she would have asked nicely from her seat behind me, and not just take my seat,
I might have considered it. But since Karen just took the seat without asking,
She Get’s Nothing.
Don’t expect anyone to give up a window or an aisle for your middle seat unless you offer a sweetener.
If you wanted that seat…you should have bought that seat. “Karen” has NO STANDING in this issue. IF…IF the rightful passenger wanted to swap seats…fine. Otherwise, Karen, sit down and shut the hell up!
My husband and I purchase seats for my 2 year old and 10 month old obviously beside us when booking. We’ve had issues on 2 separate flights where they tried moving our toddler on a row by himself. The airline stated you can’t have 2 kids on the same row due to not having enough air mask. This was untrue and they moved us back to our original seats. I don’t know why flying with kids is becoming more of a issue for airlines.
“Can you please give me your seat and be uncomfortable in a middle seat due to my poor planning?”
“Sure that sounds great, and later I can carry your luggage for you and help you unpack!”
Was this a 45 minute flight or a 5 hour transcon?
There are many people who prey on and exploit others kindness. Obviously this mother of two felt entitled.
Yeah, no. I’m with the person who refused to trade their seat. It’s OK to ask politely to trade seats, but if the question is met with no, then it ends there.
Pay for seats in advance. Even on SWA upgrade and board together and stop trying to get one person in the A group save seats for 5 more people
Gary,
Agree with the overall sentiments but a lot of your “facts” are wrong.
— Airlines are not willing to help families sit together. As a parent of a 3 year old we run into this all the time. The answer from airlines is talk with the passengers and you all work it out. Other than occasionally on Delta, we have rarely had airlines help us change seats even if the request was made early (via phone) or with a gate agent prior to flight. American is the worst at helping.
— It is not always or even most times possible to get seats together. We buy first or business class for most of our flights and despite our best efforts, it is not always possible to sit together. Most commentators and people on the non-parents side argue that people should just pay more. We’d be happy to, its just not possible most times.
— Most families that ask people to move are doing it for two very important reasons — It is better for the child to be next to their parents especially at such a young age (not teenagers as in this example) and it is better for the other passengers to not have to deal with a strangers child in case. it is a win-win that airlines should help with but don’t and so this falls into a passenger disagreement.
— As long as it is a fair trade (aisle for aisle, etc) and the request is made nicely, people need to stop being such idiots about being asked to help others. This isn’t something that is a big deal and there are A@@holes on both sides that have made this a problem. Airlines foremost amongst the people that deserve blame.
— Lastly, using rare examples like people selling good seats they asked for is a dog-whistle. Most people asking for a trade are doing it nicely and for good intentions.
Had a very similar situation on LAX-ATL flight a few years ago. Guy and his 8ish year old son. Sorry buddy. Guy got all nasty with me and told me “Don’t even think about getting up”. If I wasn’t exhausted from a long guys weekend and had already taken something to help me sleep, I would have protested a bit. But I happily slept with my head against the window for the entire flight. Just don’t get it. As the saying goes, “Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.”
@Concerned parent I’m sorry but your dog just won’t hunt.
1. Your desire for the airlines to “help” is predicated on the notion that the gate agents will move people around to accommodate you with no regard to the wants, needs or preferences of other passengers. If you book a flight an are unable to find seats together but choose to book the flight anyway, hoping you will find someone to switch with you and it doesn’t work out, that’s on you.
2. If it is better for a young child to be next to their parent then book a flight where you and your kid are together and stop expecting everyone else to accommodate your poor planning. And, when it comes to me have to “deal with a stranger’s child,” that ain’t happening. I am not engaging or looking at your child. If your child starts acting up it’s becomes the flight attendant’s issue to deal with.
If you ask politely, it;s a fair trade and you’re not be a d-bag I’ll always swtich. But if you come at me with a sense of entitlement or an unreasonable ask, you can move on to the next passenger.
Not a chance of changing seats in that case.
Pay for your seats in advance!
Stupid woman
This happens frequently with me. My reply is: did you ask anybody else to change seats or just me? I then usually get a dirty look from the asker and then hear the “rude guy won’t help me change seats” as they now have to ask others or walk back to their middle seat.
I’m not going to move. I select my seat where I do because I have terrible back problems. I’m not going to suffer for your bad planning, Lady.
I have to say after reading such stories here multiple times I have refused to move. During Covid, I was asked to change seats in First class so someone could sit with her child who was older. I told the FA that I am sorry, but I selected my seat for a specific location, and besides I was with my spouse and did not want to move. There was no issue. Another time I got a request in international business from a man whose wife did not like her seats in the first row and wanted to be back where I was. At that point, I said, “why don’t you ask the gentleman sitting in the front next to your wife if he will switch seats with you?” He did and they sat in the front. I have also been asked to move my aisle seat to a middle seat many rows away from my family and declined saying, sorry, I am traveling with my family too (albiet my family is a little older). I have never had a problem.
If I had a problem with this lady shaming me, I would have hit the FA button and asked the FA to quiet her down because she was trying to cause a problem.
“Consider offering $20 to encourage the person to give you the help you’re looking for” even when you paid $50 for that seat??
I don’t get why people always want to sit together unless with children that are young and need attention.
A bit of time apart will be good for your relationship.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
@Krys
They probably got the mask rule wrong. If you purchased seats for the child than there are enough masks. The rule is ‘two lap children’ as there are only 4 masks typically on A32x/737 aircraft. So if you are a family of four in one side of the plane there would have been enough masks for all of you.
Sad, but true, that some airline employees are not well versed in their own policies.
My wife and I booked the aisle and middle seats together in economy somewhere in the middle of the plane. Another couple with window and middle seats in the last row wanted us to move as they purposely booked their infant in the window seat in our row. We said no thanks, they were pissed and got the FA involved who took their side. That was at least 10 years ago and I’m still peeved every time I read an article on this subject.
Your kids are not my problem. Bye felicia
15 yrs old is a teenager, not a kid. Most airlines allow them to travel unaccompanied. There is no reason for them to need to sit next to a parent unless said parent has paid. (I have a 14 yr old.)
If it was a 737 or A320 and they had 17B, 17C, and 18B, don’t ask 17A for their seat. Ask 30ABC for their seats. 30A might agree to 17B and maybe $30. 30B will agree to 18B and 30C will agree to 17C.
FTB.
Makes me wonder what kind of hellions the 11 and 15 year old are if the mother can’t trust them to behave unless she’s sitting right next to them…..
@Krys:
The rule is you can’t have two lap children in one row as there are only four masks for a set of three seats. A 2 year old should have their own seat, though, so there shouldn’t be a problem. (And ignore maternal instincts–you put your mask on before you put your baby’s mask on. The time to act is a lot shorter–could be as low as 10 seconds in the worst case–than the time to actual harm being done. AFIAK the record holder is an astronaut that got decompressed to vacuum in a training facility, rescued in 90 seconds, no harm done.)
I have a couple of comments. This one I’ve shared before. Usually I book me and my 2 handicapped sons at the same time. You can pick your seats so I choose 3 together. I sit in the aisle so my sons won’t get bumped by the drink/food cart. I put my wheelchair son in the middle and my autistic son by the window to have as much distance possible between him and the other passengers. One time my autistic son’s dad was going to watch him so I only booked 2 seats. Something changed so I booked my sons ticket later. I told the flight attendant about the situation. I said there are 2 reasons I want him seated by me: 1. So I can take care of him and 2. So he won’t disturb other passengers. If you’re the passenger asking to trade I would consider myself. I wouldn’t make myself uncomfortable to accommodate someone else. I have done that before in another situation. It’s fine to think of and help others but not at your own expense.
We purposely book aisles across from each other, unless we’re on a plane/in a class with only 2 together. The only time we’ve ever asked someone to switch, our flight out of Stockholm was delayed, and we missed our connection in Frankfurt. We got rebooked in two different rows. Onboard, the guy in the row behind me had no problem switching his aisle for mine so we could sit together. If he had, we could’ve managed.
We prefer aisles, so we’ll sit in different rows rather than together. If we have to, we pay for seats.
Your kids won’t make me uncomfortable. You’ll figure out to control them or I will. You won’t like it if I do it.
@Fred I don’t know if you have been around any Autistic people. There are different degrees. The average person would be uncomfortable around my son. Some “normal” kids won’t be “controlled”. Much less special needs kids. Talking about doing it and doing it are two different things. That’s why we sit where we do on the plane-like I said-hopefully to have no disturbance to others. Or a minimum. But there are people like you that don’t deserve any consideration. I should never worry about your feelings and comfort at all. I try to “control” my sons as much as possible. And you’re right. I wouldn’t like it at all with you doing anything to my sons to “control” them. If you ever travel with us keep your “controlling” ideas about my sons to yourself.
One can ask and one can refuse. It is presumptuous to take a person’s seat before asking.
Two rules:
– equal seat swap, or no go
– don’t swing your sword with arrogance, be aware the blade cuts both ways
Not knowing the configuration of the seating chart, Federal Aviation Rules (FARs) require that each bank of seats must have 1 extra O2 mask. Thus a configuration of 2×3 on a row must have 3×4 masks, etc. That “extra” mask is reserved for a “lap child” which is defined by FARs as “less than 24 months old”… NOT 2 YEARS OLD. BIG DIFFERENCE! Krys states that her child was “2 years old”, thus under FARs…that child MUST have an individual seat with an oxygen mask. The airline can ask for a certified copy of a birth certificate for a person in question. Failure to provide that proof can result in denied boarding. Additionally, should the FAA “audit” the airline and find that there was a failure to comply with this FAR, the airline could face heavy fines. As an airline flight instructor, I must cover the emergency equipment aboard the aircraft with my pilots during initial training and periodically during recurrent training. Flight attendants also are trained like the pilots in this regard.
I had some ask if one of us, they didn’t realize we were together, would be willing to trade seats. We had booked our seats far ahead to get one of the very rare 2 configuration seats in economy on a BA 747. I asked him if he would prefer to switch with my husband and share his foot well with me (I’m 6’4″), or would he rather sit beside my husband who is a clingy sleeper and drools in his sleep. He said no thank you and asked someone else.
Well… while most of us, including this passenger, try to accommodate when we can, the bottom line is *your lack of planning is not my emergency.*
Sorry lady, looks like you’ll have spend a few hours without the “kiddies” (11 and 15?!) within arm’s reach.