Flight attendants need to stop touching passengers. Seriously, it’s an epidemic that’s out of control.
I really don’t mind flying coach anymore on short flights. I used to fear it flying halfway across the country. The biggest difference is that I lost a lot of weight.
One thing that’s really annoying though flying in back is getting bumped by flight attendant galley carts. And nearly every time they bump me, they’ll say ‘sorry’ and touch my arm. They’re apologizing for touching me by touching me. Stop it.
Mostly we talk about passengers touching flight attendants, and how it’s inappropriate, but I think it’s important to note that it goes both ways because as soon as you do it becomes a bit easier to understand what’s going on.
There’s been a lot of discussion the last few days over passengers touching flight attendants, and a group of flight attendants asking them to stop.
Usually we default to a Mad Men explanation, a stereotype of lecherous males treating woman as something other than equals and not respecting flight attendants as professionals (“coffee, tea, or me?”).
Sara Nelson says that passengers touch flight attendants out of disrespect, that cabin crew are seen as “a part of the furniture.” But I don’t think that’s what’s going on here at all.
- I’d say that airplane cabins bring together all sorts of different people and cultural expectations, and throw them together with other people whose expectations and practices are different, and that’s a big part of what we get conflict in the cabin – it’s small-d democratic.
- Some people are touchy and some people aren’t, some people are ok with being touched and some people aren’t, and most people just act how they are without concern for the sensitivities that others aren’t.
- And the cabin is pretty confined quarters, passengers are really physically close to each other but also passengers and crew are physically close to each other in ways they aren’t in most other contexts.
- Physical proximity is often an invitation for physical touch, and maybe people don’t realize that in this case that proximity isn’t totally voluntary – just part of being stuck in a metal tube together?
- People also touch each other to get their attention, and the engines of the plane create enough background noise that sometimes it’s difficult to hear.
Obviously I’m not talking about overtly sexual or demeaning touch – slapping or grabbing or touching more private areas of the body. That’s clearly inappropriate and should be dealt with. I’m talking about the more ambiguous touch on the arm or shoulder, which I think is more about a disconnect in culture norms and cues.
I don’t like it when a flight attendant does it to me, and many flight attendants don’t like it when passengers do it to them, but some passengers and crew just think it’s normal.
Amazing to note a certain group of passengers being left out in middle of ongoing conversation on “touching”. The group is deaf and hard of hearing passengers including me. Their communication methods require touching on arms and shoulders in order to get their attention since they can’t hear voices and any sounds. Waving hands in front of attendants are barely doable but they often ignore us. Sadly everything does not go both ways.
Most people aren’t bothered at all by a sympathetic touch to the arm in an instance such as what you’ve described here, Gary. But to be fair, I suppose those on the autism spectrum might not like it.
Put me in the camp of understanding how Flight attendants don’t want to be touched (they are working in an environment where they are surrounded by people every shift), but do not object if someone pats me on the shoulder- it’s not like it happens that often. The two are not equivalent (also, anyone who is deaf or dumb should communicate through touching and it’s perfectly OK).