A woman took to the internet to gauge whether she was overreacting. Her husband often travels alone with his best friend, but this time invited her along. He bought her a ticket in coach, while he buying tickets in first for himself and his friend. The man explained that she flies coach because the woman – a stay at home mom – has “no job” even though she reports they’re easily able to afford first class.
They left the kids with the wife’s mother, and got ready to travel, which is when she learned she’d be in economy and he wouldn’t. He “refused to discuss” it and then lambasted her, complaining that he “PAID FOR [HE]R TICKET..ISN’T THAT ENOUGH???” and belittling her for acting like “royalty.”
She cried, decided not to go on the trip, and picked the kids back up from her mother’s home. He took the trip. She asks whether she’s in the wrong “for not settling for economy?”
I’d add two points,
- The internet sided with her, naturally. I’m almost skeptical of the story because it’s almost too egregious to be real.
- She buys the usual explanation he offers for vacationing without her that he and his friend ‘like to attend sporting events.’ “Sporting events,” of course, means bordellos.
No one should wish coach on their partner. That goes for the one buying the lower class of service for a spouse, but also for the spouse who should never resent seeing their paramour up front. If you realize you resent your partner escaping economy, that’s a sign you don’t actually love that person. By the same token, if you can secure a premium cabin for the one you love and choose not to, do you actually love them?
Several years ago I wrote about husbands who fly business class while their wives fly coach. The Washington Post‘s relationship columnist has covered the issue, telling a woman whose boyfriend flies up front while he pays for her to fly coach that she should dump him: “His wife sat alone in coach: His epitaph writes itself.”
That said, spouses do not always need to sit together. Here’s a basic rule when only one seat up front is possible. When upgrades are offered, you take them. And if only one upgrade is available, it goes to the person that was upgraded.
(HT: Your Mileage May Vary)
Sounds like a typical male chauvinist pig. I didn’t think we had any of those type of men left anymore. She should’ve just walked off the plane and said whatever when you buy me a first class ticket I’ll be with you in first class otherwise I’m not going!
Sounds a bit far fetched. If this is true, then I’m assuming he’s ok with not seeing his wife naked for the next 35 years…
I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my 22-years of marriage but even I couldn’t top this.
I’ve flown over 5 million miles on American—I’m stunned how often I see this happen. Personally I find it abhorrent; I’d never let my wife sit in back while I was in front. On the other hand, she wouldn’t sit up front without me. I guess after 44 years of marriage, we kinda like each other.
I think it’s time for a divorce!!! She didn’t over react. If he truly loved her, he would want to be seated next to her. Since she refused to go, and he went alone that is a BIG RED FLAG!!!
Yeah I’d be pissed too ..
Agree with comments that not only was she correct but she should divorce him. Sounds like he prefers the company of his friend more than her anyway. BTW, I agree couples, especially ones married for many years (32 years now for me), don’t need to sit together. I would never book business or first for me and leave my wife in a lower class. However a couple of times I have gotten upgraded and she didn’t. Once we were traveling to Aruba with our 2 daughters and she told me to go ahead and sit in first and she would stay with the kids (which I did) and other times I’ve given her the upgrade and sat in coach. Also, once I booked 2 first and 2 economy tickets for a trip (not exactly sure how that happened as it was some years ago) but one daughter and I sat up front going and my wife and other daughter sat in first on the return trip. If you travel enough and have been together a while these situations arise and they can usually be worked out without any drama but if I EVER purposely booked me in first and her in coach I’d never hear the end of it (which would be appropriate). Can’t imagine any man doing that. Also agree not sure I believe the story
@ KK — You’ve never heard of Donald Trump?
I am inclined to believe this scenario actually occurred as I worked in the reservations department of a legacy airline for ten years and experienced a lot of issuing of tickets for the guy up front and coach tickets for the wife and kids. Not at all uncommon, especially on mileage redemption tickets. I find this behavior to be appalling and another ongoing example of the constant war on women that women experience generation after generation. This woman’s next phone call should be to her lawyer, imho.
Would it be ok if the wife was the major breadwinner and the man the stay at home dad and the wife sat up front “to get work done”? My guess is we would be getting different comments here
Ahhh yes. Another classy article from Gary Leff who describes himself as “one of the foremost experts in the field of miles, points, and frequent business travel”
I think you need to change your description to read “the Jerry Springer of travel”
I can’t imagine the husband upgrading his buddy but not his wife. I get my fair share of upgrades while traveling alone, less frequently when with my wife because we’re usually on the same pnr (so that she gets my DL Plat; AA & UA Gold benefits). But whenever I’m offered only one upgrade, she gets it. I have never once had a flight attendant (male or female) deny my wife the opportunity to sit in my upgraded seat. In fact, they have often brought me drinks in coach which tells me how rarely this must happen.
I have to imagine there’s gonna be some pretty cold nights at home for that guy!
The husband is sitting upfront with the one he loves most. The wife either needs to become OK with not being the love of her husband’s life, or else move on and find someone else. That’s all there is to it.
@Gene….yeah, ever hear of Bill Clinton?! See I can do it also…leave the politics out of it
From the way I read the article, her tickets were purchased separately after he and his friend and bought theirs. Maybe something in his heart decided to invite her along because he didn’t want her to feel lonely, wanted some time with her, loved her, and wanted to enjoy some time in a new place. Likely the friend paid for his own ticket. It’s certainly possible that the husband and his friend were either upgraded or got the first class ticket when available at a decent price. When the husband purchased her ticket, maybe it wasn’t possible to get her into first (upgrades were gone, availability was gone, or the price wasn’t worth it).
I always try to book my spouse as a companion and kids separately so we would be upgraded together. But if couples can’t survive in be apart for a few hours, how can they even survive? Does she have to accompany him to work and do they have to go shopping and to the toilet together?
Also, I don’t agree that all men travelling with friends are going to bordellos – I certainly never have. Are bordellos a travel blogger thing?
Men and women are not equal. We need to do with with equality nonsense.
I can confirm that this is a real pattern. One of the roles I play at AwardCat is occasional marriage counselor, and whenever a guy (it’s always a guy) proposes that he book himself up front and his wife in the back due to award availability, pricing or whatever else, my answer is always “wait a minute, do you want to stay married?”
After thinking about it for a moment, all but one client has reconsidered. I did book that guy the itinerary he wanted, and I hope for his sake that his marriage is as solid as he thinks it is. 🙂
Sounds like a terrible marriage; I imagine a single trip, let alone yearly, with a friend who’s not my wife. This guy sounds like a total piece of work.
If true, I will just say a first class seat for her is a lot less expensive than a divorce. Something to chew on.
It sounds far fetched because it’s fake; most of the posts on the /r/amitheasshole subreddit are made up. They get lots of engagement & comments, generating the karma points that the regulars there live & die by.
The dude is a tightwad SOB. She needs to dump is useless carcass. No doubt he’s a registered democrat.
I’m on Melania’s side on this one.
So this woman is so dumb that she lives with a man who ‘travels with his friend’, invites her on a trip, insults her, and she POSTS ON THE INTERNET to get opinions on her reaction? And these people are raising CHILDREN??? Wake up and smell the coffee, dear, you don’t have a marriage, you are keeping house and raising children … and happen to live with a jerk who pays the bills.
Nothing wrong with booking wife in coach. She should feel blessed that she’s being invited and has a seat in the cabin and not the cargo pit. Having a woman sit next to you on a long flight is painful, that’s why most Hasidic Jews won’t allow it.
If the husband is Muslim, would the Internet take his side?
I’m the one who gets the upgrades. If there’s only one I encourage my husband to take it because he’s a big man and the flight will more comfortable for him. Sometimes he declines and tells me to go ahead. I even booked him in business and me in coach on a trip to Europe because that’s all the miles we had. I’d rather us both be upgraded but we make it work. He always encourages me to take the upgrade.
I vote for the wife of the guy who booked her in Coach and booked himself in First class – – what a jerk.
If they have plenty of money to get her a first class ticket, he should’ve done it, regardless of the cost.
When there is only one seat available my wife rides up front. Mostly this is when we’re flying Alaska and just one of our upgrades clear.
We’re both MVP Gold 75k. Interestingly they alway have her ahead of me on the upgrade waitlist. Maybe there’s someone in their IT department who is smarter than you might think.
This is socially acceptable in some countries. My hubby is Pakistany but lived in the US for a long time. He prefers I travel in Coach while he is up front as it makes him feel like a man. I go with it as coach is not that bad and he has bad BO and bad breath.
So she found out about her seat assignment after she left the kids with her mother? First problem. Husband’s friend jumped on bandwagon and insults her. Second problem. She is a “sahm” and has no job so basically she doesn’t deserve it – smh – and she is with this person why???
Really? Reddit? Save that for the losers like UA_NYC.
She needs to dump him. He should just get a letter in the mail that he’s been dumped hard. This is unforgivable.
As a gay man, this sounds like a classic closeted guy whom would rather spend his free time with another guy than his wife… red flag imo. Run baby run!
@CP Hasidic Men have no issues sitting with their spouse. They don’t want to sit next to unrelated women in order to not enter any situation that may lead to inappropriate temptations, no matter if the chance they may act on it is only .0001%.
@CP Obviously, I vehemently disagree with the rest of your post, too. That type of attitude is disgusting and makes me want to vomit.
How can you enjoy travelling in first class when you know that your wife is sitting in economy ?…
I’m sure that the story is true and it drives me up the wall!
r/aita is full of people spinning more absurd stories than the last to illicit responses from the kind of dupes in this comment section and karma farm. Embarrassing to write a blog post about anything in there.
Idiot
This guy is very cold and inconsiderate. I could not stay married to such a chauvinistic pig.
I’ve been married for 29 years and we travel every year. When we book, we prefer not to even take the same flights. The last long international trip we took to Tokyo a couple years ago, she was on an American flight to DFW then JAL to Tokyo, while I took an American flight to ORD onward to Tokyo via JAL. My flight arrived first and I waited for her arrival and we enjoyed spending time in Japan. We book economy, because we would rather spend the extra money on the experiences at the destination. Being an EXP, do I use the occasional systemwide or mileage upgrades? Hell Yes.
Does she get all crampy about it and complain to the internets? Nope. If someone is going to consider getting a divorce for something that idiotic, they probably shouldn’t have married in the first place. Nor should they be consulting all the armchair internet therapists and reddit cancelers…
I am at a loss for words. No I’m not. When you reach cruising altitude…
If his “friend” is male, there’s definitely a flavor of Brokeback Mountain to this tale.
She may have gotten to their destination and found that Mr & Mr were in the Penthouse Suite while she was in a single on the 13th floor 🙂
She shouldn’t say she doesn’t have a job. Being a stay-at-home mom raising kids is an extremely important job. Without knowing ANY facts about that marriage, I can tell that this mother would be better off divorcing this idiot, sue for proper child support, buy her own place, and if then needed, if she wishes to, engage him on her own terms or better, move on and a husband who celebrates her will cross her path.
He did that on purpose just so she don’t come that way he can chill with his other girl he knows full well she’d be mad with his nonsense.
If he makes the money it’s his to spend. If she chooses to not make money and be a stay at home mom that’s her choice. No one is forcing her to do that. He shouldn’t be forced or guilted to pay for an expensive FC seat for her. He’s probably paying for the whole vacation so why should he have to pay more.
The wife should be happy to be flying in economy rather than in the hold like those three exwives her husband checked in as baggage.
This is such an obvious case of a husband on the down-low that I can’t believe it took 40 messages for someone to finally mention it. Sporting events? Is that what they call it now?
Bordellos? Who uses the word “bordello” anymore? Do any even exist under that name? This isn’t the Old West.
The husband is a Loser with a capital “L”. I would like to think this was not a factual story but after witnessing many years of human actions, I believe it probably is real.
Her complaining says more about her than him. She married him, she had kids with him. I seriously doubt he wasn’t this big of a cad when they were dating.
I have zero sympathy for women like this. Stick around until the kids are out of high school, then extricate yourself.
I find the article interesting and condescending. For years I flew extensively both domestic and overseas. On some of those trips my wife would join me. I always made sure that she would have an upgrade to either business or first. There have been times I have taken a bump to get an upgraded seat. My thought is that since I traveled more than forty weeks a year that anytime I could reward her it was a way to say thank you for keeping our home a wonderful place to come back to.
Yes, she should have rebooked another ticket on first class. If the husband was able to book a guest class ticket for a friend then he definitely should have booked a first class for his wife. Im sure ge wouldn’t like it if his wife provide economy service at home. Frozen meals for example. Lol
The guy is a jerk, the friend is a jerk (he told the husband not to include her and has been increasingly rude). She needs to get out of this relationship. His behavior, ably assisted by this friend, is emotionally abusive. When traveling with my late husband several years ago, Delta routinely upgraded me but he did not have status so left him in coach (it’s the only time it ever happened—other times they upgraded him along with me). I refused. No way would I do that to the man I loved. I did offer it to him but he refused to do that to me. It’s not that we couldn’t be apart for a couple of hours. My business travel left us apart plenty. It was because you just don’t do that if you’re truly involved with each other. We walked this walk together, not with one having a better path part of the way.