A 19 year old woman flying from Las Vegas to New York was assigned a middle seat, and reports she was between two larger passengers who didn’t “fit comfortably into their seats.” She reports their shoulders and thighs were “on top of” hers. And after an hour and a half of this she got up and discretely asked a flight attendant if she could change to an open seat in another row?
She felt awkward moving her bag from underneath the seat in front of her, but thought the ordeal was over when she moved a few rows back. However at the end of the flight when she deplaned, she found the woman who had been sitting next to her waiting for her at the gate:
She essentially told me that I had embarrassed her and the other man and that traveling while plus-sized is hard enough without “people treating fatness like a contagious disease”. She also said that I made it a public demonstration to everyone that plus sized passengers are an “inconvenience” and opened the door to fatphobia on flights.
Now the passenger who moved to give herself more room feels bad, and wonders whether she should have “just stuck it out” and been uncomfortable to preserve her seat opponent’s feelings?
AITA for embarrassing a plus sized passenger on a flight?
by u/throwawayonaplane in AmItheAsshole
This is absurd. As a general rule the best course of action is always to secure the most personal space possible on a plane within airline rules. This woman didn’t even just move to an empty seat on her own going rogue, she was invited to move by a flight attendant. She did nothing wrong.
And it is always your responsibility to buy the space you need for yourself under standard circumstances on a plane, whether that’s a first class seat or a second coach seat for an empty middle. If you fit in a standard coach seat, great. If you don’t, you need to secure enough space so that you don’t inconvenience other passengers. I like the long-time Southwest policy of refunding the second seat to a passenger who purchased it because of their size if the flight winds up less than full.
Delta and the other U.S. airlines need to stop worrying about lawsuits and start denying boarding to passengers who can’t fit into their seat or can’t actually walk down an aisle or row without causing an obstruction that could be deadly in the event of an in-flight emergency. Just as airlines cracked down on phony assistance dogs, they need to crack on passengers who pose a safety threat due to their weight, physical size, and immobility. We don’t allow trucks too high for overpasses to take a chance at passing under an overpass, why do we allow passengers that are too big for a single seat or too big for an airline to fly?
“Traveling while plus sized” Ha
That sounds like normal shaming. She should have fired back at the b.u.g. only she the fat lady sung and confronted the woman who moved.
Just like we have baggage sizers we need to put an exemplar seat at the gate, if you don’t fit in the seat, you don’t board. Simple
The two rubenesque passengers have also violated a cardinal rule of air travel. The armrest belong to the passenger in the middle seat. Being plus sized is no excuse to be rude. If the plus sized woman was embarrassed, despite the smaller woman being as discrete as possible, then she should excercise some self-reflection about how she feels about herself.
So now, regular size adults Must sit with Fat people? People need to respect their body and their health. Clearly this Fat women cares only for herself and no concern for others. The passenger did not make a seen, in hind sight she could have waited until the end of the flight to get her stuff…but its not a BIG deal. Fatty needs to loose weight.
The seat changer did nothing wrong, at least based on the story she gave which I have no reason to doubt. Some of these comments, however, are ridiculously and unnecessarily fatphobic. Demanding plus size people buy a second seat is one thing, but saying they shouldn’t be able to board under the guise of “safety?” Would you say the same thing about disabled people that require actual assistance? Perhaps some of these commenters should try to find happiness in something other than judging other people.
The best way to address POS (pax of size) is predeparture when the boarding door is open. Tell a flight attendant that there is a safety issue because pax next to you encroaches into seat which was designed with the highest safety standards for one person i.e. yourself.
Safety is every FA’s first priority so this is the best way to handle the issue.
I’ve been quite fat but once it became a problem, especially in movie theaters and planes, I lost the weight and kept it off by changing my eating habits and getting exercise.
Being “plus sized” is not an identity or disability. It’s a product of self neglect.
In theory that should be a workable idea, on AA I fear it would lead to one’s arrest. Only the FA’s know what is good for you,
Looks like the lady who complained may have low self-esteem. I get it; until my wife lost half her weight (and is now in the triathlon nationals each year) she was using a seatbelt extension and in total denial of any problem. It took some really sad situations and her overweight mother developing diabetes before she turned her life around. This lady apparently knows she has a problem and pretends it isn’t there. It is not the problem of the passenger who moved. If I was in that situation I would consider the source, smile politely, and walk off.
“It seems that you’re still on the airplane. But I left it back dt the gate. I don’t have time to replay the flight. Bye now.”
You really don’t think it is a safety issue? I fly every week and see people on the plane that could not get out a wing exit if there life depended on it, someday it might and your life as well
What I find weird is that if the large woman had a problem with someone trying to get out from the middle seat between her and her man the couple should have sat next to each other in the first place rather than cramming someone in the middle or at least offer to trade. They did neither, which puts them in the wrong from what I’m seeing.
“…just stuck it out” and been uncomfortable to preserve her seat opponent’s feelings?”
Absolutely, not! This story is a microcosm of what’s wrong with society. The unrelenting desire to avoid “hurting” someone’s feelings and therefore, causing ourselves significant discomfort. There is no reason she should be apologetic or feel sorry for what she did. It’s the “plus-sized” individual who should be embarrassed by her behavior.
As a “POH” (person of height), I have no choice but to pay extra for a seat that accommodates my body size (slender, but tall), so I can add at least $100+ to any flight. No, diet and exercise will not help me lose height. I always find it offensive when a person of width cannot fit into a normal sized seat yet finds it perfectly acceptable to squish the person next to them. If I did sit in standard economy, I could raise the armrest and share your seat so that my legs would fit in sideways. Would that be acceptable? I recently was forced (only option to my destination) on an AA A319 that has obviously been configured by the people who design Shiners clown cars. I’m not fatphobic (who came up with that BS), but I also desire not to be overheated and sweat soaked by the person next to me. If I have to pay for an upgrade for my height, you can pay for an upgrade for your width.
Look, I’m fat and I use a belt extender but I try my absolute best – to the point of painfully distorting myself – to take up as little room as possible. I usually fly in F or J for this reason. Every other fat person I’ve ever heard from shares the same shame and guilt for encroaching in someone else’s personal space on a plane. We are fully aware and we feel terrible about it because there’s nothing we can do other than hope for some empathy in a situation that MANY average-sized folks are uncomfortable in. The last thing we would ever do is draw attention to the uncomfortable and embarrassing situation or give someone a hard time for getting some breathing room.
I simply don’t buy that a fat person cornered a thin person to give them a piece of their mind (lol!) unless the thin person is leaving something out from this story or (gasp!) it never even happened and is complete fabrication… because yes, there are sociopaths out there who (gasp!) make things up on social media out of sheer boredom and the need for attention-seeking. Stop capitalizing on this BS for clicks, Gary.
I would likely have responded by reinforcing their complaint about me and in way that didn’t leave any ambiguity about how I felt about their plus sizeness. But this person who found a way to escape being squeezed relentlessly for an entire flight was a nice person and as such didn’t deserve to be confronted.
How about we put the shame where it truly belongs–the airlines who make money EVEN WHEN NO ONE FLIES, and who never really have to worry since they’ll intentionally be bailed out, bit who still choose to make seats smaller, and smaller, and smaller. No one used to CARE if you reclined your seat since there was plenty of space to do so. But the airlines nickel and game their staff and the riding public. They make seats and ailes narrower and narrower.
But instead of blaming them we’re blaming passengers? GTFO with that!
I definitely have empathy for the “plus size” folks. I caught grief for it in another post. But in this situation the middle person was uncomfortable and they did something about it. The thinner person didn’t do anything wrong. She didn’t shame the heavy person or name call. I would have told the “plus size” person I changed my seat as discreetly as I could. Fat phobia had existed a long time-everywhere. I didn’t invent it and I didn’t introduce it on this flight. If there’s a way for me to be comfortable though I’m going for it. Then I would walk away.
Shame on this woman for allowing fatso to chastise her. I do believe that the whole obese/fat situation is escalating more quickly than people realize. Now it seems that ‘they’ are trying to convince the rest of us that “being a whale is not their fault, that they shouldn’t be shunned, that others should be impacted negatively by their blubber and just accept it”. Absurd baloney! Bar these huge people from airplanes, and start doing it NOW.
Plus size? What a joke. They are fat because they choose to be fat. That’s not my problem.
These people with their own zip code should fly on cargo planes.
@jsn55 It seems like you’re shaming everyone. The heavy person and the thinner one. The thinner passenger, as she said, thought the situation was over when she moved. She was probably too shocked to say anything. It’s words you used like fatso, whale and blubber that don’t help the situation at all. At least she had the good sense not to do that. She was uncomfortable, she sought help and moved. Problem solved. Whoever’s fault it is that they are overweight a little empathy would not hurt. I think most people would love to lose the weight and keep it off.
Addiction plays a part. Just plain old loving good food can be a factor. People always have choices but sometimes they don’t feel like they do. If they could catch the extra weight before it gets too bad it would be easier to lose. When it gets real bad they get devastated. It’s a lifetime lifestyle change.
One day at a time. My mom heard that some who overeat were sexually abused as children. Heavy people should not be shunned. There are people that want to help them. Maybe the answer instead of banning them from all flights is to do plus sized flights only. No one is shamed. No one is uncomfortable. You may be like another guy I went 15 rounds with on this site. He said he was never overweight a day in his life. Good for him. A lot of us can’t say that. The name calling and judgmental attitude you have now may come back to bite you in the behind. A medical issue could even increase your weight. Think before you write/speak. But for the grace of God it would be you instead of the berating overweight person.
I’m the 1st to move for extra space once the seatbelt sign is off.
On one flight, a FA openly chided me for moving to the last row which was empty on a crowded flight. A second FA intervened and put me in the row just behind 1st. Due to a quirk in the seating plan, I ended up with more leg room than anyone else on the flight.
You snooze, you lose…
@Alan I just suggested that heavy people have their own flights. Not to shun them. Not to separate them out of shame. To do it so the heavier people can be more comfortable. So they won’t have to berated and ridiculed for a condition they didn’t ask for and feel hopless to do anything about it. The thinner people don’t have to crammed in and uncomfortable. People don’t choose to heavy. People don’t choose to be alcoholic. People don’t choose to be drug addicts. When they wrote what I want to be when I grow up I would be willing to bet none of them said: I want to be overweight. I want to be an alcoholic. I want to be a drug addict.
Fatty gave her a piece of her mind with a side of hot fudge sauce and whipped cream
A person stuck in a middle seat might try to move even if the seatmates were normal size. Fat lady was embarrassed because being fat does draw rude stares, whispers, revulsion. It is hard to bear. But this time she was in the wrong.
Fvck! There are a lot of commenters here with zero empathy.
I am a “Big” person, and I do not feel that the woman did anything wrong when she discretely asked to change her seat. If the heavy person was upset at this, she should have purchased the extra seat for room. If there is a more comfortable seat available, why shouldn’t she move to be comfortable? If it embarasses the fat person (and I am fat by most standards), then it is the fat person who has a problem, not the slender person who needs more room.
Yes, fat people are an inconvenience for some. But it is our responsibility to purchase the space we need on a plane. If I can fit into a normal seat with a seatbelt extender, I may not be comfortable. But I won’t stand in the way of someone finding a way to be comfortable – even if it means finding a better seat. With this being said, I am upset when fat people overflow into the seats next to them and do not purchase that extra seat. I would never fly with one (now ex) girlfriend, as she needed 2 seats to be comfortable and to avoid making the person next to her uncomfortable. In the case of the above mentioned people, I’d tell the fat woman to get a life – as thin people have a right to be as comfortable as possible when flying in these overpriced sardine cans….
What would Lizzo have said ?
Under the same circumstances, if I were “confronted” at the exit (gate) of the plane by the “plus size” passenger, I simply would have politely but firmly excused myself and walked away…under no circumstance would I have endured any further contact with the primary offender.
Perhaps they, the pluses, should use Orwell as a guide to this. We can have fat, plus fat, double plus fat, etc. This can go instead of your title. Pay a surcharge accordingly.
As a fat flyer I have no problem acknowledging the physical reality of the fact that I might inconvenience other people, not to mention be very uncomfortable myself, if I try to squeeze myself into most economy seats. I pay for first class every time I fly and that should be the end of it. Unfortunately sometimes the airlines like to play games with the product they’ve sold and change the aircraft or the seating assignment after I’ve booked (American especially loves this). Maybe if the airlines held up their end of the bargain and provided what people paid for on the itinerary these things would happen less often.
@Jesda Gulati
> Being “plus sized” is not an identity or disability. It’s a product of self neglect.
Best comment of the day.
So, FatZilla thinks other people must be uncomfortable and just sit there and take it because it will hurt her feelings if they move? Too bad. If I was sitting there, I’d tell her to get her excess body out of my seating area that I paid for. Or I would do just like the person did and get up and find another seat, provided I could escape her field of gravity.
So if I am paying for seat on any flight at today prices, I will not be forced to be made miserable for the duration of the flight. I you have an issue with someone changing their seat, that your issue not the person requesting the change.
Shame is felt for a reason. At what point did it become a verb?
When it comes to purchasing a plane flight seat it would be a good idea for the airline stated the width or there seats so that when you book you have to declare the you will fit in the seat you buy, if you need bigger than the seats stated then you would need to buy 2 seats, then if they get on a flight there will be no problem, if some try to be crafty and only purchase the one seat and don’t fit it then they should be escorted of the flight for being deceitful, end of issue
@Ricky. Good point. I agree. Maybe if the planes had as much room in the past we wouldn’t have these space issues today.
I seriously have a problem with people anywhere getting right up against me or what I consider TOO close to my space. I will have anxiety and that’s not pretty. The only thing that might have worked is to just move and grab bag later so it’s not real obvious. But I would NOT have stayed in that seat. There are medical ways to loose weight now along with excercise and less food. I am 72 and I have never been more than 130 lbs at 5’7″ in my life until I was about 65. I had begun to drink way too much from depression and problems and gained 25 lbs. I pushed myself to get detoxed and when I came home I started walking several times a day and eating better and less food. I am now at 135 and feel great. You gotta take a step and have control over your body. It can be done if I can do it at 72.
Ban Fatsos from airplanes? Give them their own planes? This sounds like American history, repeating itself. Remember the days of white only bathrooms, restaurants, schools, and neighborhoods? Or maybe we should take a page out of Germany’s history, and just round up all the fat people, and put them in a prison camp. This not an extreme example. This is where it starts. In the US they are already banning gay people, and any other people who don’t vote like them, look like them, or have the same religion as them. Today the fatsos and tomorrow the women? Those with blonde hair? People from other countries? How about anybody you don’t like? That person could be you, so maybe I save a little hate and concentrate on empathy for all. Life is a struggle, but it’s easier to get through with love and empathy and respect for others.
Airline Tariff Rule 25 (or similar).
“lewfalo says:
June 2, 2023 at 9:16 am
Shame is felt for a reason. At what point did it become a verb?”
Mid-thirteenth century, according to at least one online etymology source.
“Skyhuggs says:
June 2, 2023 at 10:58 am
… There are medical ways to loose (sic) weight now…”
By catapult, perhaps?
Gordon Bethune once said “You can make a pizza so cheap, that no one will eat it”.
Like decreasing the space between cars in parking lots, smaller seats only breeds more hostility.
This will get worse before it gets better.
If a person with permission moved seats to be more comfortable…Good for them. If others are uncomfortable about that this is why therapists make money.
I see no shame in you quietly moving yes you gave yourself more room, but since you left the middle seat unoccupied you in turn gave BOTH of them more room. That woman should have thanked you for discreetly moving to give all 3 of you more room.
The issue is not that passengers are too large; it’s that seats are too small. Doesn’t sound like the passenger who moved did anything to call attention to the situation. The plus-sized passenger is correct to be upset, but not at the middle-seat passenger. We have accepted very uncomfortable plane travel, and we shouldn’t. Personally, I will only ever fly again for absolutely essential reasons (like funerals and emergency medical issues). Otherwise, boats, trains and cars will have to work for me. (And I live on a different continent than my family.)
People who are +sized should pay the for a second seat by default.
This can be justified by the following:- when you book for a plane you have to pay for your luggage, you are allowed a certain weight, anything above that weight you have to pay extra for.
The same thing should apply to size, if you are big enough that you need 2 seats then you should accept that you should pay for them. Surely you can’t really believe that the woman in the middle should have to be squashed by you and made to feel totally uncomfortable for the entire flight just because of your ego. And that’s not even taking the higiene into account.
My belief is that if you are so big you struggle to fit down the aisle then you should not fly, you should not be allowed to put all the other passengers at risk (In an emergency).
I would like to know from the people who would argue with the above, what would’ve happened if the woman above in the middle was also plus sized, now there is a problem, because the 3 of you would not fit on that row of seats. I got a pound to a pinch of poo that one of you would of been asking to move.
Marka,
Can you please identify the location of any place in the US that bans gay people?
Silence…….yeah I thought so.
I am over weight…..but i agree with the smaller woman i paid for my seat the same as everyone else and i should not be required to be uncomfortable for the feelings of another ..just because the larger woman felt entitled to more than just her area ,she should have purchased 2 seats .
I think airlines should seriously consider some wider seats to accomadate larger customers , of course at a higher price .making the 3 seats into 2 seats ..